Used to be...

Nothing calmed me like a purring kitty. Now it is a squishy baby.


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Epic

I just changed the mother of all poopy diapers. It was epic. There was shit EVERYWHERE. It was up her front, her back, down (and up) both legs, in her hatchet wound, everywhere.

8 wipes*, 2 cloth diapers, 1 diaper cover, 1 changing pad, a sleeper outfit, and mommy's hands lost their lives in the changing of this diaper.

Holy shit. Literally.

*Normally a poopy diaper is 1-2 wipes, 3 if it is bad.

And now, a photo of the preciousness that created such an epic shit for your viewing pleasure:




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Gingerbread House

Talented, we are(n't).


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First Word Dream

So the other night I dreamt that I called P a pussy in front of Z. (And she was the same age in the dream as she is now, 9 weeks old.) She looked right at me and said, "Pussy." And I said, "Oh, shit, your first word was pussy!!" And she said, "Shit." And then I said, "Oh my god, you're too young to talk, but can you say Mama? Mama? Mama?" And she just looked at me.

I'd actually love it if she could speak, but please, child, don't let your first word be pussy!!


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I Rock

I just created a hands-free pumping experience by cutting slits in an old cheap sports bra! Life just got a little better!


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Only Mommy

Last night, Z was crying after being changed and fed and pit in her bassinet. I picked her up and she instantly stopped, so I laid down to sleep with her on my belly. It made my heart grow 3 sizes. :-)




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Milk Machine

You know what sucks about breastfeeding a baby who eats every 2 hours, other than the fact that you can never get anything done? When they hit a growth spurt, they eat every hour. Oh. My. Gods.

And that is happening to coincide with her first big far baby tears. Now we both cry whenever she is hungry!

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I Don't Wanna

Go back to work. Zoë is so sweet and precious and I cannot imagine leaving her for so long. It keeps making me cry.


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Is She Gonna Sleep?

This'll be way funnier if you've seen the Friends episode I'm referencing. Otherwise, enjoy pics of Z!

Is she gonna sleep?



Is she gonna??



Is she gonna?



Is she gonna?



Sleep?



Is she gonna sleep?



Is she gonna?



Is she gonna?



Is she gonna?



Yep! Out like a light!

Hungry, Perhaps?

Btw, she didn't hold the schedule today, though she referenced it occasionally...


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Do We Have A Schedule??

11pm-5am: Sleep
5-5:15: Diaper change
5:15-5:45: Eat
5:45-8:30: Sleep
8:30-8:45: Diaper change
8:45-9:15: Eat
9:15-10: Active, alert cuteness.  Play with Mommy.
10-10:45: Fussy. Make another diaper. Fall asleep.
10:45-11:30: Nap
11:30-11:45: Diaper change
11:45-12:15: Eat
12:15-12:45: Active, alert cuteness. Play with Mommy.
12:45-1: Go watch mobile.  Fall asleep.
1-1:45: Nap
1:45-2: Diaper change
2-2:30: Fussy feeding
2:30-3:30: A little playfulness, lots of fussing.
3:30-6: Nap on Mommy.
6-7:30: Watch Mommy and Daddy eat, then play with Daddy.
7:30-8:30: Nap
8:30-9: Bath
9-9:30: Eat.
9:30-11 or 12: Refuse to sleep. Be super cute, active and alert.

Repeat as necessary!

(At least, that's almost exactly what we've done for the past 2 days.)

P.S. There are actually waaaaaaay more diapers than this, but these are the predictable ones.

More Smiles

Last night when her Daddy came home from work, Zoë smiled at him. While she was eating dinner. From my boob.


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Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm laying on the guest bed at the Farm, having just nursed the tiny terrorist into submission, waiting the requisite 20 minutes before moving her that will cement the sleep in place for a few hours, and I am thankful.

I am thankful for my daughter, who I fell in love with somewhere along the way.

I am thankful for the cute and precious moments like these that make the others easier to bear.

I am thankful for Preston, who is in it with me.

And for my parents, who love me as I love her, and who love her as only grandparents can.

Last year at this time I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams that this is where I'd be today, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I am thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving!


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Sleep and Smiles

Z slept 7 hours in a row last night! I actually woke up ON MY OWN (due to painful rock hard boobs, but still, on my own!) and had to wake her up to feed her. Brilliant!! I feel like a human for the first time in 34 days!

Oh, and she smiles at us now. Best most precious makes-me-lactate smile EVAR.







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I Am a Human Pillow

Today the tiny human will only sleep in 10 minute increments. On me.


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Breastfeeding

I know it is supposed to get easier, but WHEN???


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Nada

I don't have anything interesting to say any more. I'm exhausted. Z still has day and night pretty effectively mixed up. And every day I try to learn a little mire about how to care for her, and me, and a house too. This is the hardest thing I've ever done, yet it isn't interesting. So there you have it.

146.2: not allowed to run until 6 week follow-up, but trying to get out and walk a few times a week (at 45 min now, working up to an hour), and ride the recumbent, and basically puddle at working out until I get the go-ahead...

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Quote of the Day

Preston, with a cat in his lap: "All I do when I pick something up is jiggle it and pat it and try to make it stop."


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Birth Story

I'll pick this up from "Blarg: No Baby Yet", since that was the beginning.  I made it til 8 and called the doctor, and they told me to come right in.  I got in my car and drove there (approximately 10 blocks), and they put me into a room.

The doc came in, took one look at me, and said, "Oh yeah, you're in labor."  She pointed to a spot I had left on the floor and asked if that is what I had been seeing.  I freaked: I hadn't realized I had left a spot between undressing and climbing on the table, but yes, that was what I had been seeing.  She had me lay back, and without even touching me declared my water broken.  Then when she did the exam I felt a huge gush.  She pronounced me -2 station, 80% effaced, and 4 cm dilated.  Then they had me dress and put me on a monitor and told me to call P to come pick me up.  I called P, Mom, Patti the doula, my boss, my boss's boss, and my assistant manager.  The contractions were only still 5-7 minutes apart, and honestly didn't feel any different from what I had felt before.  Everyone I talked to remarked on how calm I sounded.  How else was I supposed to be?  I just kept thinking: holy crap, I'm having a baby today.

P arrived and a nurse took me to the front door with orders to go directly to the hospital.  I had P take me back to my car so I could drive it back to work (where parking is free and I had arranged for a friend to take it to her home if my water ever broke at work - never of course expecting that it would actually happen!), then switched to P's car and started frantically chugging water and eating food, knowing that I wouldn't get the chance again once we got to the hospital.

Got there, were ushered straight to a room, where I stripped and was helped into a hospital gown.  Mom and Patti arrived quickly.  Patti helped me onto the birthing ball, put on a hypnobabies CD, and started massaging my back.  The contractions quickly picked up and got much stronger from there.  The nurse came in and checked me and declared me 5 cm.  The exams during labor are so much more painful than any I had ever had before!!  Then the doc came in and also declared me 5.  I had never met her before as Dr. S was on vacation, and I took an unfortunate dislike to her immediately.  She told me she wanted to put me on Pitocin because my water was broken and I "wasn't progressing" and there was a risk of infection.  I was totally stunned.  All the books I read said you had 24 hours to get the baby out after your water broke.  Also that Pitocin would make the contractions way more painful.  It had only been just over 4 hours since my water broke at that point!!

I told her no.

She went away and I kept laboring.  The contractions got longer and harder.  The doc came back and pushed Pitocin again around noon, as I was still at 5 cm.  I said no, but I said if I hadn't made any progress in 2 more hours, I'd let her.  I got off the monitor and got in the shower, which helped a little, but the contractions continued to increase in intensity/pain.  Then I got in the bed into a sitting position with my legs almost indian style.  I could feel the baby coming down and it hurt so very very badly.  I worked through it for as long as I could, but finally I asked Mom and Patti to leave the room and told P I wanted to ask for the epidural.  He said that was fine, and when everyone came back I asked.  The doc was due in 20 minutes, so they talked me into waiting: what if I was in transition and this was the worst part - would I still want the epidural?  No, so I waited.

Doc came back, checked me, I was still 5.  I told her I wanted the epidural and she could start the Pitocin.  The anesthesiologist showed up thankfully really quickly.  I was really scared that I'd have a contraction while he was in there, since my contractions were coming in a pattern of 2 strong ones, with the 2nd followed immediately by a weaker (but still painful as hell) one.  But he got it in me, and the relief was within 2 contractions.  THANK GOODNESS.  That was the BEST decision I ever made.  Screw natural labor.

They had asked Preston, Mom, and Patti to step out during the procedure.  They took the opportunity to grab some food, and by the time they got back I was smiling and happy and pain-free.  Preston told me later that he couldn't believe the transformation.

After that, we all sat around and shot the shit for an hour or two.  The only negative thing for me was that since I wasn't distracted by pain, I discovered I was hungry and thirsty.  I requested and ate 3 or 4 popsicles while we waited, but they barely took the edge off.  As for the baby, she started having little decelerations in her heart rate when I'd have a contraction.  They decided that she was probably tangled in her cord, and so began irrigating my uterus with some liquid to cushion the cord from the baby.  It was funny to me because they kept trying to tell me about the procedure like they were afraid I'd say no: once I had that epidural, I didn't care any longer what they wanted to do, short of a c-section!

When the nurse checked me again, I was 9 cm, and they called the doc to tell her to come my way.  She actually took quite awhile to show up, but since I had the epidural, I had no urge to push, so we waited.  Apparently they call this "laboring down", and it is supposed to make the pushing phase shorter.

Then they decided for me to try "practice pushes".  This is bullshit.  There was never any transition from practice to the real thing, except that the doc eventually showed up.  They'd jack my legs up, I'd hold onto them, and push for all I was worth, all the time thinking of pooping the baby out.  But I couldn't feel a thing.  They got me a mirror and almost immediately you could see the top of her head coming out with the pushes, and going back in when I rested.

I never could understand before how labor could be hard if you had the epidural.  I mean, if you weren't feeling the pain, what was so difficult about it?  Let me tell you: it is absolutely exhausting.  I pushed and pushed, and it seemed like she'd never come out of me!

At some point I tore a little, and the doc told me I'd need an episiotomy.  I told her I'd rather tear, but she said that I really really needed it, that the tearing on me would be extreme and that the baby's head was just too big for me.  I was really pissed off, but what was I going to do?  I let her cut me, and the next push, the baby came out!  Her cord was wrapped around her neck, but they slid it off as she came out.

I was watching the whole thing in the mirror like it was on television, and finally the doc called me name and said, "She's out, look over here now."  Preston cut her cord and they put her on me, where she promptly shat out the biggest meconium poo in the history of the universe.  All over me.  Funny how after all they worrying about the grossness of changing diapers, she greeted me by shitting on me.  And I didn't care at all.  Instant transformation - crazy stuff!  They cleaned us both up, all while I was petting her face and cooing at her to try to get her to calm down.

Then they took her away and cleaned her and weighed her and did all that stuff, all while the doc delivered the placenta and stitched me up.

Then they brought her back and we had our first try at breastfeeding, before they took her down to the nursery.  At some point someone had brought me in some food and set it down at the foot of my bed, and when everyone went with the baby, I was left staring at the food but unable to reach it alone in L&D.

Will pick up the story with an "Aftermath" post later.

Shock

I'm sitting here with a tiny human asleep on my chest. How did this happen???


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Tape Residue

9 days postpartum and I *think* I've finally got all the tape residue off my skin. Hopefully.

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Weight

I was public as heck regarding my preggo weight gain, so I'm not reckoning in changing anything now.

I'm counting my final weight as 170 lbs, because the morning I went into labor I was 169.4, and I figure rounding will make it easier. That was a weight gain of approximately 40 lbs.

The day I got home from the hospital, I weighed just over 157, but I kept losing every day.

Yesterday morning, 8 days postpartum, I weighed 150.0 lbs. Halfway there! I know the weight will stop falling off soon and the real work will begin, but I can't say enough how relieved I am to be starting from my pre-preggo heaviest weight. Because I *know* I can lose the rest from here. And that is very comforting.


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First Walk

20 minutes, slowly, with stroller. But it is a start!!


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Zoe Is Here!!

Once I get the chance, I'll write up a birth story. But for now, she was born October 6 at 7:30pm after 13.5 hours of labor. She weighed 6 lbs 15 oz and was 19.75 inches long. And here are a few pics!






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Blarg: No Baby Yet

Last night I went to the doula for another labor prep massage.  I had been having contractions all day, but again, nothing productive.  (They have decreased in frequency (7-9 minutes apart), but increased in duration (70ish seconds long) and strength since all the false labor started, though.)

Seriously, this woman's massages are miracle-workers.  You go in, and I swear, you come out with the baby hanging around your knees!!  This baby has got to be at zero station now!

As I was driving home, I noticed that the contractions are much stronger.  Good.  Progress.

Then I had them about 5-7 minutes apart, 70-80 seconds long, and strong, strong enough to breathe though, all night long until bed.  In fact, I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep.  And I wasn't sure I wanted Preston to sleep either, because I was afraid maybe this was the real thing.

I eventually fell asleep.  And it wasn't the real thing.

Again.

How do I know?  This morning when I woke up - nothing.


Update:
But then they started back up on the commute in.  And I got to work, and I felt a trickle.  Tmi, but this is a real question for preggos: did I just pee a little, or is my water maybe broken?  Ran to the restroom.  I really don't *think* I was peeing myself... but no "show"... don't know what that was.  Head back to my office.

A few minutes later I get up to go show people something, and another trickle, in kind of a scary, I might not be able to stop kind of way.  Run to the restroom again, this time look before I start peeing - what is coming out *might* be a little brownish...

WTF am I going to do?  I can't even tell if my damn water is broken or not, but I have a big meeting later, and if I'm peeing myself, I need to take care of it.

Run to my car to get some girl stuff.  Now I'll be ok unless it really is my water, in which case, I'll still be ok unless there is some kind of flood/gush.

Back to office, start tracking contractions. 5-7 minutes apart, 60-70 seconds long, and in a pattern of one hard close-your-eyes-and-breathe one and then one weak am-I-actually-contracting one.

If I can make it to 8 or 8:30, I can call the doc and see if they'll see me for my belly check early and look to see if this is water or not...

This is a total mind fuck.  I've just gotta say it.  Mind. Fuck.

Btw, remember how last time the doula said that she thought the baby was long?  This time she also guessed 7.5-8 lbs.

Awesome.

Fuck, dude, I have been wanting her out for weeks, but now that maybe she is on the way, I'm a little freaked!

A lot freaked.

I keep feeling like I'm gonna cry.  Cry because she isn't out, cry because I don't know if I'm in labor, cry because maybe I am in labor.  That's a lot of cry triggers for someone who has been fairly happy throughout pregnancy.

Mind fuck.

Week 38

Cravings:

I'm hungry!!  Cookies n' cream ice cream (Blue Bell).  Still pining over Pei Wei chocolate chip cookies... might have to suck it up and make a run this afternoon...  French fries have been high on the list, lately, too.

Other symptoms:
Still sleeping sitting up.  Was sleeping a bit better until Sunday night when I just couldn't get comfortable.  Still snotty from my sickness, with an occasional hacking cough, but I feel much better.  When my BP spikes, I feel funny in my chest.  Lots of pointless contractions.  Grumpy stomach.

Things bugging me:
No.... I am calm, cool, collected, mellow, trying to keep that BP down, and trying to create an environment that The Kid would want to come into.

Current weight: 168ish


Renovations:
Final board has been laid in the loft.  Now for sealing.  Then, the office, and baseboards all around.  We're on the home stretch.  The office is the tiniest room in the house, and it should be an easy one for P!

Other stuff:
Another (mostly) relaxing weekend.  Laundry all done on Saturday, P finished the loft, some good eating, some good cleaning, few good walks to encourage the eviction of The Kid.  As much sleep as I could cram in.  Just a waiting game at this point.

I went ahead and scheduled another doula massage for Tuesday, and next belly check is Wednesday.  Hoping that if I schedule appointments, she'll come. :-)

My Mom has gone ahead and come into town.  She is certain that The Kid is coming soon, and she thinks she can help out.  In all honesty, I'm of two minds regarding this.  I'm a little short-fused, and Mom in large doses gets on my nerves in the best of times.  But it would be nice to have someone else around right now.  Soo... here she came.

My "Status": Signs of Labor

Let's review the common signs of labor and my current status in each category (this should be fun).  I've tried to keep this from being tmi, but if you don't know what a sign is and you google it, that's on you.

Dilation:  Check. 2-3 cm at last appt. (Friday)

Effacement:  Check. 60% (again) at last appt.

Baby "drops":  Check. -1 station at last appt. Plus an increased ability to breathe and a refreshing lack of heartburn.

"Discomfort":  Check.  My pelvis/tailbone feels like I've repeatedly slammed down in a concrete chair.  My belly has developed its own center of gravity.  I keep falling over.  I can't sleep.  All positions, standing, sitting, laying make me want to change my position.  My back is even starting to hurt a little, for the first time in the entire pregnancy.

Spurts of energy:  Check.  Think this would have started earlier if I hadn't been sick, since I layed on the couch for several days staring at the dust on the TV stand and wanting to kill it, but from yesterday my house is cleaner than it has been in awhile.  (And thanks to Preston for helping with this, and to Tyler and Mara for deciding to come by on Sunday and thus giving us some outside impetus.)

Grumpy stomach: Check. 5 days now.

Loss of mucous plug:  I *think* so...

Contractions: YES.  Check.  Super check.  Getting-really-sick-of-having-them-without-them-being-real-labor-CHECK.

"Show":  Nope.

Water breaks:  Nope.

So, seriously, all signs pointing to impending labor.  Let's get on with it already!!!!!!!!!!

As Seen On TV

Will you run a marathon with me?

I don't even know if I can run a marathon.

Of course you can. Anyone can, you just have to train for it.

Well, ok, when is it?

2 weeks.


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Pregnant Sicky Sickerson

Uggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sick! 

It started with a sore throat over a week ago, every morning when I woke up.  Assumed it was from all the snoring.  (Yay, preggo sexiness!)

Then on Monday night, it went beyond that.  I kept waking myself up with the snoring.  And Preston kept waking me up to try to stop the snoring (he had earplugs in and a pillow over his head and says he still couldn't sleep from the racket - he finally ended up on the couch).  And before you knew it, I had had the worst pregnant night ever. 

Tuesday I felt really crappy from the moment I woke up.  The sore throat was soooo much worse, and with the lack of sleep, I was just slaughtered.  I ended up going home early from work.  That night, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch.  When I woke up, I asked P if I had been snoring when I was sitting.  He said no, so I decided to sleep on the couch.  I started laying down, but switched to sitting around 2am because my throat was hurting so bad, and I felt like the snoring was exacerbating  the problem.

When I woke up on Wednesday, there was no way I was going to work.  If I wasn't preggo, I'm sure I would have tried to go in: my general rule of thumb is no fever and no involvement below the neck means I go in, but if I can't cut myself some slack now, when will I ever be able to??

I slept off and on all day, hardly getting up from the couch.  I had no appetite at all.  Called the OB, and of course, no Afrin, no Throat Coat tea, nothing but Tylenol and liquids, ugh!

Slept on the couch again last night.  Had like a 30 sneeze sneezing fit in which phlegm ended up in my mouth.  A lot.  Gross.  Didn't even bother trying to lay down: slept sitting the whole time, wrapping pillows around my belly for support.  Even with the house set at 72 degrees, was hot.  Ugh!  (But still no fever.)

Decided to go ahead and come into work, but only for 7 hours today.  I mean, I can be miserable at home, I can be miserable sitting at a computer at work and getting paid for it.  But I must say, it doesn't inspire confidence how many emails were waiting for me after only one day off!

But ugh, still miserable.

Belly check on Friday.  Maybe doc'll help??

(Can the baby come out sick?? I want this kid out, but I don't want to go through labor feeling like this!!!)

Week 37

Cravings:

I'm hungry!!  Cookies n' cream ice cream (Blue Bell, of course) sounds great.  As do warm chocolate chip cookies and a big glass of milk.  Nestle from my own oven will do, but I'm really pining over one from Pei Wei... yummy...

Other symptoms:
Sleeping better sometimes, but still having insomniac nights.  Interestingly, if it isn't an insomniac night, I sleep HARD. Heartburn, but not since Saturday.  Tummy has been a little upset for 2 weeks now.  Nothing awful, but certainly more "activity" than I've seen this entire pregnancy, and I think even more than I'd see on a regular non-preggo day.  I have not changed my eating habits at all in the past 2 weeks, so it isn't that.

Things bugging me:
No.... I am calm, cool, collected, mellow, and trying to keep that BP down.  (Still.  But my house was really really messy this weekend.  And Preston still isn't done with the floors in the loft...)

Current weight: 167.0 (Weight gain seems to have slowed, even though, if anything, I'm eating more insanely than before - I've heard that that can be a sign that she'll come soon!!)


Renovations:
P is still working on the loft. He is under orders to work on it every day after work this week (damnit).


Other stuff:
This weekend unfortunately wasn't as relaxing.  I intended on taking Friday off, but I had jury duty on Thursday.

Seriously, right?  Jury Duty!!  On my full term date!!!  My first time being called for my "civic duty" ever, and they manage to call me when I'm 37 weeks preggo!!  Anyways, I went, got empaneled, ended up being an alternate on a speeding ticket, finally released around 1pm, luckily late enough to not go back to work!

But missing work on Thursday made me freak out a little.  I don't know why, but I just felt like if I missed Friday I might not get the chance to ever go again before the baby.  And I had left a lot of loose ends due to an insane day on Wednesday.

So I worked for just over 6 hours on Friday, then stopped by the store, then fell asleep til Preston got off work.

Saturday I had my doula massage scheduled.  The one that everyone guaranteed would drop the baby.  It was *wonderful*.  Seriously, wonderful.  And it did drop the baby.  I'm thinking if she doesn't come this week, I'd like another...

Then after that we needed to go by Preston's Dad's because there was family in town.  I gave P a lecture beforehand on not keeping me there when I timed out, and I think we made it out in 3ish hours, which wasn't awful.  Then we stopped by Michael's on the way home because I needed to get something framed and after all that we were probably gone from the house over 8 hours.  Not relaxing!!

Then Sunday, we went back to Michael's twice.  Long story short, though, the thing is finally getting framed.  And then to the grocery store.  And somehow then it was afternoon already!

Think I'm going to try to plan another don't leave the house weekend for next weekend if The Kid hasn't arrived yet.  This stuff is just getting to be too much for me.

Next belly check isn't until Friday. :-(  The dropping is encouraging, but I haven't had regular contractions since last week, boo!

One more thing: this morning was beautiful: first morning since April below 70!  I'm not running any longer, but went out for a walk.  This morning is the kind of morning that makes me miss running!

Belly Dream

Last night I dreamt that I was sleeping on my belly.  It was like heaven.

That is all.

36 and 37 Weeks Pics

36 weeks.

Full term belly - exactly 37 weeks.

Work Pool

They're taking bets at work on when I'll pop this kid out.

They've received guesses ranging from 9/27 (my new best friend) to 10/21 (see if I ever talk to that punk again).

For the record: dr's due date is 10/14, my personal estimated due date is 10/6, based on the doc's opinion, I'll be full term and therefore safe to blast off on 9/23, and they'll let you go up to 2 weeks after your due date, so I could go as late as 10/28.

Also for the record, for some reason, I don't feel like I'll be having The Kid this week. Don't know why, just don't think she's coming yet.

And one more thing: I have my pre-labor massage scheduled with the doula this Saturday. She says that it should really open up my hips and drop The Kid down so stuff will start progressing naturally.

Oh, and last week at my belly check I was 30% effaced, but not dilated at all. We'll see what she says today!

Week 36

Cravings:

I'm hungry!!

Other symptoms:
Tired but can't sleep. Heartburn. Starting 9/20, more contractions.

Things bugging me:
No.... I am calm, cool, collected, mellow, and trying to keep that BP down.

Current weight: 166.8 (Had jumped up to 168.something after I ate everything in sight last weekend, but it went back down, thank goodness!)


Renovations:
P is still working on the loft. The one side is done and sealed and we moved all the crap onto it, so now he's working on the other side. I think he's almost ready to start laying the floors on that side, and I *think* it'll go quickly once he does, so that's cool.

Nursery = DONE!! Done, bitches!! I hemmed the curtains this weekend, and Preston hung them, and that was the last last thing that NEEDED to be done before The Kid makes her entrance. DONE!!!


Other stuff:
We hardly left the house this weekend, and it was everything I thought it could be. :-)

P actually got released from work early on Friday, so we spent the day together. Did the few errands that needed to be done with the goal of not leaving the house again. It felt like such a nice, loooooong day. Then Saturday I told him the curtains were my only goal, so we watched tv all day and figured out my new sewing machine and hemmed and hung curtains. Sunday he worked on the floors. I helped a bit, and folded laundry, and sent him out for food.

We were invited to the Astros game on Saturday, but I refused, and glad I did: they lost 11-1!! More than that, though, I was asleep on the couch before it was over - I can't imagine how miserable I'd have been if I had tried staying awake *at* the game! Good decision. Difficult, but good.

One more thing:
About those contractions... I think they started Monday morning early. Possibly when I was on the bike, or perhaps at work. In the beginning I just thought my pants were too tight (not unreasonable at this point). I kept tugging at them, trying to get them off my belly, etc, but I didn't notice any sort of pattern. At some point I think I might have realized that I was having BH contractions, but I still didn't think anything at all of it. But when I went to lunch at 2, they were hurting bad enough that I would stop eating and pet my belly through them. At some point at lunch I realized I had had waaaaaaay too many contractions in only a 30 minute lunch. So when I got back to my desk, I started timing them.

My notes look like this:
2:37
2:40 (?)
2:43 (S??)
2:46
2:50
2:53
2:56
3:01
3:05
3:08
3:13

HOLY SHIT!! At that point I busted out my app that counts contractions so I could get some better actual times for spacing and duration. Turns out they were coming every 4ish-6ish minutes, lasting 25-40 seconds.

Well, now what? All the websites say to call your doc if you get more than 4 Braxton Hicks contractions per hour. I sure as hell qualified for that. But if these were real contractions, I didn't think they were strong enough or long enough to warrant a call to my doc. Surely nowhere near the 60 second duration that was required...

I finally let the clock make my decision: it was almost 5, and any call I made after that would have to go to the doc on call through the answering service, etc. Easier to just call my own doc before 5. So I called. She said (sort of) what I expected. Lay down, drink water (she really doesn't believe that I drink 100+ oz. per day), call again if they get longer and stronger. She defined stronger as "taking your breath away". Interesting: there were one or two that were that strong, but not all and not consistently. She did move up my appointment from 4pm to 8:15 am, saying she wants to get me on a monitor and figure out what is up.

So.... we'll see. This morning they are coming 5-10 minutes apart, but a little longer: 45 seconds-ish.


Update:
Had my belly check this morning. I went in, and they put me on the monitor. The monitor was actually really cool: I could listen to The Kid's heartbeat, I was supposed to push this button every time she moved, and the machine would watch for contractions. Well, I didn't have one for the longest time, and I was afraid that I was going to look like an idiot. Then I got this huge pressure like she was pushing up at me, and I started clicking the button until I looked over and saw it graphing a contraction, and I realized it wasn't The Kid, it was really a contraction! I felt really vindicated... the whole monitor experience was really relaxing and cool.

When the doc came in after 20 minutes she said, "Well, the baby looks good, and you're really having contractions!" Yay!!

Then I went for my internal exam. I'm 1 cm dilated, 60% effaced, The Kid dropped a bit, but is still really high. Probably like a -4 station.

BP was still high - diastolic around 90... but no other factors for preeclampsia, so still just a wait-and-see.

Overall, really really excited that I've progressed so far! Let's get this show on the road!!

Coming Home Outfits

I don't know why, but I've been really freaked out about what to bring The Kid home from the hospital in. Some of my friends, and some of the message boards, make a big deal about the coming home "outfit". And then others don't give a flip, and my mom can't remember what I was wearing when I came home.

Also, how do you pick something out when you don't know how big the baby will be??? What if you actually spend money on the thing, and it doesn't fit her??

Eeep!

This has really been a serious mental block for me. But I've finally addressed it (I think).

Here is what I'm bringing to the hospital to choose from. All of these already existed in our house as gifts or hand-me-downs. Each one is a slightly different size/style, so I can adjust as needed (or just let her needs dictate the whole decision!). Oh! Also, she'll be coming home in October in Texas!! It could be anywhere from 30 degrees to 100 degrees. How does a preggo plan for that??? Options, baby. It's all about the options. (We'll get The Kid started on overpacking before she ever enters this world! Yeah! Daddy is screwed! Haha!)

Outfit the first: "Daddy's little pumpkin" onesie. This one was a gift from Justina, is totally precious, long-sleeved in case it is cold, and NOT PINK! It is the biggest of the lot.


Outfit the second: Kitten long-sleeved onesie, hand-me-down, I think from Justina, smaller than pumpkin onesie, long sleeved in case it is cold, and of course, appropriate because we love us some kitties.

Outfit the third: teeny tiny brown flower onesie, hand-me-down from Christine, smallest of the lot (I know that kids come out this small, but it is hard to believe sometimes that the alien inside of me making this much of a ruckus could be small enough to fit into this onesie...), short sleeved in case it is hot, mostly not pink in case of red hair. :-)

Outfit the fourth: Hand-me-down "baby" top from Christine, tiny little jeans that were a gift from J-ma (formerly known to this blog as JaMIL). I think this outfit is hilarious - I keep joking that we'll need to label the baby because we don't know what the hell we are doing... also, I've read that two-piece outfits can be really good in the first few weeks when the cord is healing, plus this one is slightly larger than the short-sleeved onesie, so I have 2 hot weather options.

I could also stick these jeans over any of the onesies if we were worried about cold legs...

35 Weeks Pic

My Own Damn Cake

Yesterday at work they busted out the leftover cake from the party I missed on Tuesday.

Now, you know I've been craving cake this whole pregnancy. I even dreamed about it. Can't remember if I blogged it at the time, but I had this dream I went to the supermarket and I was just standing at the cake counter ogling and smelling the cakes. Yuuuuuum, cake...

Anyways, for my own showers, I got a piece of my cake right before it was gone at the work shower, and as for the home shower, the cake was amazing, but I think the bakery put a pinch of cinnamon in the chocolate for the most amazing taste and the most INSANE heartburn... so even though I ate 2 pieces at the shower and brought 4 more home, I can't eat those 4 unless I want even less sleep than I currently get. Not cool.

I was really looking forward to a bite of cake at this party.

I even snuck into the back room and sniffed it before I went to the doc.

So anyways, just before lunch yesterday I'm sitting in my office and I hear them breaking out the cake. I figure someone'll come by and let me know it is out and offer me some since I missed the party. Wrong. I wait a few minutes, then wander out on my way to the bathroom, looking for the cake the whole time. I don't see it anywhere! I figure maybe I was just having some kind of cake delusion and sadly go back to my office. Then I hear some being offered to the volunteer!! WTF??? It must be out there somewhere. I go the the bathroom again and also check the back room. STILL NO CAKE. It was like torture!! Knowing there was cake out there, smelling it, and not eating it, UGH!!!

I got all pissy and went home and made my own damn cake. And I got to lick the bowl. And it didn't give me heartburn and I was able to drink milk with it and I bet it was better than their fancy store-bought cake. So there. :-Þ

More Excitement Yesterday

So after my doctor's office opened yesterday, I put in a call because my dizziness was persisting, and coupled with Monday's contractions, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being an idiot by being at work...

The lady took down all my info, asked me to hold while she went to talk to the nurse, then came back and asked if I could come in *right now*. Ummm... yes? Am I coming back to work? Is this an emergency? Should I be freaking out???

I went in.

Turns out that dizziness is a common symptom of high blood pressure, which is a medical emergency when you're preggers.

My blood pressure was higher than my "preggo-normal", and generally on the high side, but I had no additional symptoms: no protein in the urine, no vision problems, etc.

The Kid's heart rate was a little high (170's). My doc looked at me and said, "If this doesn't go down, I'm going to have to put you on a monitor." I took a few deep breaths, mentally took hold of myself, and you could actually *hear* The Kid's HR come down into the proper range. Mind over matter. Apparently mind over 2 people's matter works too...

Anyways, doc sent me home for the rest of the day telling me to relax. If my BP or The Kid's HR are high at my belly check next Tuesday, then she's going to talk about bedrest. Me no want bedrest. I'll be a good girl, I promise!

On the good side, I only gained 6 oz. since my last appt, I was 30% effaced (we're on the way, Kid!!), but not dilated.

I'm going to take Friday off and closet myself in the house this weekend and rest. No bedrest for Ber.

Braxton Hicks???

So yesterday I had "cramping" low in my bump, centered, pretty much all day. I didn't really feel like it was anything time-able, but I also wasn't completely sure. I seem to be a very visual person with this pregnancy - I wasn't sure I was feeling kicking until I saw it on the sonogram, even though I had been feeling it for a month! Well, I wasn't sure I was having contractions until I finally got home and was able to unabashedly stare at my belly and watch it tense itself up into a tight little ball. Then I knew. That's also what it took for me to be able to understand the timing. I could see the thing coming and going, and I could mentally coordinate it with how I felt. So we started counting.

They say the magic point at which to call your doc is more than 4 per hour. I was pretty borderline, I've gotta admit. I reckon for awhile there I was having closer to 5 per hour. But I didn't call. I have a belly check this afternoon, and other than the dizziness, I have no other symptoms.

They weren't completely compliant with the definition of BH, in other ways, too, though. They were lasting about 60 seconds, were fairly regular, did not lessen with changes in position/activity, and they were uncomfortable. Not painful, but not comfortable.

But I went to bed, and they seem to be gone (so far) this morning... but the dizziness remains.

I'm thinking I may call my doc when they open...

Week 35

Cravings:

Fries.

Other symptoms:
Tired but can't sleep. Heartburn. And today, dizziness, headache, and what I think may be Braxton Hicks contractions.

Things bugging me:
OMG, there is so little time left!!

Current weight: 166.4

Renovations:
P is still working on the loft. Think/hope he's almost done with the hard bits (that require lots of cutting).

I managed to get most of the remaining stuff in the nursery put away, and that makes me feel (a bit) better.


Other stuff:
Had to go to the Y on Friday to get my locker assigned in the new facility, but they wouldn't let us leave our stuff there, so I had to lug all my crap home. Preggo walking just under a mile in downtown at lunch lugging crap = NOT pleased. I also swam first, and for the first time ever I had someone refuse to share a lane. NOT cool.

Then there is someone retiring at work, so I ran around trying to get gifts, etc on Friday. NOT relaxing.

Then on Saturday got a haircut, went to AD's, ran some errands. NOT peaceful.

Then on Sunday we had to do our final childbirth class (the one so that I can have the doula). NOT restful.

I'm freaking exhausted and it is only Monday. I got in to work this morning and found out one of my favorite people quit on Friday with no notice. And I cried. At work. Stupid hormones.

On the DNS

This is a comment that I wrote in response to this post over at Steve in a Speedo's blog. Steve's blogs is one of my favorites to read, and he almost always offers great uplifting advice, but I didn't quite agree with this one, and couldn't keep my mouth shut!


I know I'm really late commenting here (really behind in my blog reading!) but I just have to say something about your heirarchy of DFL better than DNF better than DNS.

Sometimes shit happens and a DNS is still the right decision.

I DNS'd 3 races this season. I've never DNF'd or DFL'd, and this was my first experience with the DNS. I'd like to tell you what happened:

I had a whole season of winter half marathons planned. I was really excited about it. I signed up for everything months in advance hoping to save money. I have no history of injury. My hope was to get faster through better experience at the distance. I was fully trained, coming off a 10 mile PR, and ready to go when I hurt my right knee on an 11 mile training run. I started and finished my next 3 races on the hurt knee over a period of 3 months with the knee never getting better (arguably getting worse every time I raced), despite the appointment with the orthopedic doc, the PT, and the meds he prescribed.

Then I found out I was pregnant.

Maybe I would have gone ahead and started those last 3 races if that hadn't happened. I'm not sure we'll ever know the answer to that. But I do know that once I was no longer just stubbornly hurting my own body, but potentially impacting someone else's, it just seemed like I was being an idiot.

This ended up being a blessing in disguise. I read one of your posts about ART, and I found a doc in my area that practices it. Under his guidance, I have been able to run/walk through week 34 of pregnancy pain free, and will probably be able to come back from the injury completely post-partum. But would that be the case if I hadn't made the decision to DNS?

Don't get me wrong. DNSing sucks. Big time. I beat myself up mentally for it. But sometimes shit happens, and sometimes it happens for the better, even if you can't see it right then.

I know that the reason you say DNSing is worse than DNF or DFL is because the DNSer didn't even get out there - didn't even try. But there is a place for the DNS too, and it is worth noting that probably most people who DNS aren't doing it lightly, and deserve the support of the community as much as the others who didn't make it to the finish line.

Thanks for listening!
Amber

On Cussing

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Week 34

Cravings:

Cookies 'n' cream milkshakes (from Chick-fil-a). Sweet potato fries (from Jax).

Other symptoms:
Tired but can't sleep. Heartburn. Little snippy yesterday - major over-reactions to minor annoying stimuli. Pelvis hurts. Like, HURTS. Like in the bones. Like they are trying to stretch. Only problem? THEY ARE BONES: they don't stretch!!!

Things bugging me:
My mother.

Current weight: 165.2. Yeah, you read that right.

Renovations:
Preston finished laying flooring between the guest room and the office. Now he's ripped up about half the carpet in the loft (shifting all the crap to one side, gonna do the floors, seal them, then shift to the other side). It is much easier/faster when you're not gonna scrape a ceiling, but I still doubt we finish any time soon. Good news is that the office is tiny, and it'll be the last thing we tackle, so maybe it'll see fast.


Other stuff:
Had a "family" shower this Saturday, and it was quite nice. I got all my thank yous written, and a lot of the stuff put away = good.

Mom brought in a ton of stuff from a family member in the DFW area and I don't know what to do with it all! Stressing a little because the once-clean nursery looks dirty. And I feel the need for it to be super-organized.

Mom did pick out the curtains, and I have 3 panels, but need 4. Will keep eyes open at Target for the last one. I am, unfortunately, going to have to hem them.

I think last week's pit-bull incident C25K was probably my last run of this pregnancy. And that makes me sad.

Weeks 32 and 33 Pics

Don't have a 32 week pic, but this is early early 33 weeks, so it'll have to do! (Looks strangely small...)
33 weeks. (This one looks strangely huge. Oh well...)

Planning Post-Baby Running

One of the things that is comforting and exciting me through the weight gain is planning my 2011 post-baby running/racing.

The only problem is: I don't really know what I'm going to be up for, and when!!

I've tried doing some research on when I'll be able to start exercising again, when to start running again, and then factor in my own experiences from there on how long it takes me to get going how far, etc. But essentially, I know nothing.

So, of course, I have a plan all blocked out, but which can be relatively easily modified.

I've gone for the positive spin: starting C25K with Week 1 only 2 weeks after my due date. Now, I know that this very probably won't be possible, but why not try (for once in my life!) to plan for the best scenario?? If I was to be able to start back 2 weeks after my due date, I'd finish C25K 5 weeks before my planned comeback 5K, which is the EP5K on January 30, 2011. I think this one is perfect for a comeback since it is the only 5K in town that I know of that gives medals, and I'll certainly deserve one! (Plus I'm a medal whore.)

So, in the event that I can't start back 2 weeks after, pushing to 3, 4, 5, or 6 weeks after would still have me ready for the 5K in time. And most sources agree that you should really be pretty good to go at 6 weeks, if you have a normal birth.

As soon as I finish C25K, I'll move on to One Hour Runner, following my tried-and-true formula for slowly building up time/mileage/stamina. And I'll keep racing from 5K-10K distances all spring. And I thought I might try to train for the CB&I in early May again, too...

In fact, there is a part of me that would like to stick with the shorter distances all year... but another part of me would really like to do a half-marathon next winter... I'll really need to see how the knee comes back, whether I'm able to block out enough time to run with the baby, etc...

It would be really cool to do the 10 miler in October, then a half in November or December... ooooo, or to run the Big Bend Ultra 25K ("only" 15.5 miles) in January...

But if all the long stuff doesn't work out, I can have fun doing short stuff too. I'd like to get faster. Before I started going long, I was *almost* placing in my age group, especially in smaller races. It'd be fun to give that a shot too!

With all that said, I'm trying not to look too far into the future. Short distances, at least until Spring is over, so here is my proposed schedule: EP 5K in January, Bayou City Classic 10K, Mardi Gras Beach Run 5K, Eikenburg Law Week 8K in March, Bellaire Trolley Run 5K in April, and potentially the North Texas Warrior Dash (which I missed this year due to pregnancy), also in April, and the CB&I Triathlon early May. Those last 2 are the 2 I'm most uncertain about... not sure if I'll want to divide my focus from running onto tri so soon into my "comeback", and not sure my family'll (omg, we're gonna be a "family"!) be up for a trip to Dallas in April!

It is difficult trying to plan with so much uncertainty in the picture, but at the same time, I think it is good for me mentally to get excited about regaining an aspect of my life that is so important to me, even if it is just in a small way.

Week 33

Cravings:

Cookies 'n' cream milkshakes (from Chick-fil-a). French fries. Fish. Those really yummy potatoes we make...

Aversions:
I think we're pretty much done with these.

Other symptoms:
Still tired. Have been since last Thursday. Heartburn. (Does this mean I can hope for a full head of red hair??) Little insomnia working too.

Things bugging me:
I could do without the tired, the insomnia, the heartburn. Oh, and the cat pissing on the rug.

Current weight: 162.8

Renovations:
Preston has laid most of the flooring between the guest room and the office. It was hard because that hall is on an angle, and one side butts up against an irregularly shaped stone fireplace, so it required lots of cutting.

Now we need to finish cleaning out the office so maybe we can put my parents to work this weekend!


Other stuff:
I got all my thank yous written from the shower last weekend, and a lot of the stuff put away = good.

Think I'm gonna downgrade to C25K Week 1 on Thursday. *le sigh*

Got out the recumbant to ride this morning, that went fine.

Went swimming last Friday after work (I only work half-a-day on Fridays). Oooo! My arms were sooooo sore afterwards!! I only did 1000 yards. I was super slow, but I didn't realize as I was going how sore I was gonna be after! I think I might make it a goal to go at least once a week til the end.

My non-work baby shower is this Saturday - it is mostly going to be family, but I'm looking forward to it!

Stand-off with a Pit Bull

On my morning "run", I had the single most scary thing I've ever seen or experienced in my 4 years of running in my neighborhood happen.

And that's saying something. I run at night. I run when I've seen a scary movie the night before. I've been chased by dogs before. I've been jumped on by dogs before. I've been swerved at by a car before. I've fallen.

But, omg, this morning was so far beyond any of that.

I had just turned onto my street, walking my cooldown. I was almost done! Several houses up I saw a 4-legged creature run across the road. I wasn't sure what sort of creature: cat, dog, coon... so as I approached the house I cautionarily glanced to my right to check on the status of the creature, when a pit bull rushes towards me, barking loudly.

I stop, turn, face it, throw up my right hand and yell, "No!". He stops, but continues to bark.

I slowly turn to my left and begin walking, watching the dog the whole time. He circles behind me, barking, and rushes me. I stop, turn, face the dog, throw up my hand and yell, "No!". He backs off a bit, barking.

I start edging towards my house, still waaaaaaay too far away, he circles around behind me again and charges again, I yell at him again. He circles and charges again. I yell again. He circles, charges, I yell. We do this inch by inch, working our way slowly down the street towards my house.

All the time, I'm trying to appear big, confident, and totally unafraid. But I'm freaking out. I mean, completely freaking.

One time, he was running and he came in for a charge and I actually hissed at him. It was totally instinctual, and I'm guessing because that is something we do to get our cats to not do things, but it seemed to freak him out and he moved a little farther away from me. He finally ended up running about 20 feet ahead of me and on my right as I moved down the street.

Which put him in my yard. Fuck.

I moved up the neighbor's driveway towards my front door, thinking that the most vulnerable I was going to be was when I was trying to get my key in the door.

I lost sight of him behind a bush, I BOOKED IT to my door, somehow the key was in my hand, went in, and I was inside.

And then I totally lost it.

Fucker was still running around the street when I left for work 30 minutes later.

I called Animal Control as soon as they opened at 9am. What the hell are you supposed to do in the middle of the night??? I seriously doubt he was still there!

Oh, and he was wearing a collar with tags.

Fucking dog owners. I love dogs. I have nothing against any breed of dog. It is the owners that fuck them up, let them run loose and threaten people. Those fuckers deserve to be hurt.

And, shit, dude... how do you make yourself go out for a run after that??

Baby Shower #1 (Work)

Well, the ladies at work threw me a shower on Tuesday.
The idea of a party *for* me is difficult for me. I'm just not comfortable being the center of attention. But I understand that it is an important thing, culturally, that everyone has a good time, and that I need to go along. With that said, I am glad there weren't any games, because I was exhausted at the end just from talking to people and opening presents!!
It was really fun, though, and really quite lovely. And The Kid made out like a bandit!!

Labor Dream

Last night I dreamt that she came out quickly, with no drugs or episiotomy. And they layed her on my belly and Preston took beautiful pictures.

And I have a vague recognition that it wasn't my doc who delivered her. Foreshadowing, perhaps?

Week 32

Cravings:

Cookies 'n' cream milkshakes (from Chick-fil-a). On Saturday night, I actually *cried* because I didn't have one. Seriously.

Aversions:
I don't care that it causes heartburn. Feed me!

Other symptoms:
I am really, really tired. Have been since last Thursday. Like can barely get out of bed in the morning tired. Preston left me home alone Saturday night and I was thirsty and still didn't get up to get myself water for over an hour (until I also had to pee, so the trip was worth it) tired. Tired! My friend, heartburn, is still with me, too.

Things bugging me:
Not really. I'm too tired to be bugged.

Current weight: 160.4

Renovations:
Got the carpet out of the hallway between guest and office. Moved all the tools from the nursery to the guest closet, because I just couldn't stand them in the nursery. Staged an impromptu reorganization/cleaning of the kitchen on Saturday, which has been a long time coming and was really rather productive. I've got a place for baby bottles/stuff now!


Other stuff:

Still doing C25K Week 2. I skipped last Friday because I was so tired, and when the alarm went off yesterday, I almost rolled over and went back to sleep. But I was glad I didn't: this tired thing doesn't seem to be going away, and running is still something I can really do for myself.

This morning I rode my bike on the trainer, as I've been doing at least once a week for the entire pregnancy, for what I fear may be the last time: my knees/thighs are attacking my belly!! Might be time to bust out the old recumbant...

My work baby shower is this afternoon!

iApps for Preggos - a Review

What to Expect

This app was probably my favorite in the beginning because it had a daily "What to Expect". That was most welcome when I didn't know anything at all, hadn't had time to read the books, and was adjusting to the concept of a baby inside me.

The app also features a weekly summary of what's going on with your body and your Kid's.

There is also access to community forums and a place to store photos, which I haven't really used.

Price: $FREE (definitely worth the price!)




Baby Bump

This is my favorite pregnancy app now. Like WTE, it features weekly info, and it can actually be fun to compare the weekly info among all the apps.

But the winning feature, IMHO, is the "Journal" where you can track your weight, waist, mood, cravings, etc.

It, too, has a kick counter, which I have used. It also has a contraction counter, which I'm sure will come in handy!

It's got sections for photos, a birth video, popular baby names, and community forums as well.

Price: $4.99

iPregnancy

I discovered this app later in my pregnancy, which may explain why it has never been my favorite, but I also find it less intuitive to use than the others. It claims to let you track your weight and things, but you have to do those as "doctor's appointments", not just as journal entries, and I've never even located the doctor's appointment section of the app!

No wonder there is a whole website (linked above) on how to use it!

What is cool about this app is the weekly info being divided among Mom, Dad, and Kid. Weekly info includes the survival rate if your baby was born that week, which is probably too negative for the other apps, but is really kind of cool to know, especially as you get towards the end. I mean, it'll really light a fire under my ass to know that I could have this Kid now, and she'd stand a better than 97% chance of survival. That really tells you how far she's come!

The other cool thing in this app is the ultrasound pics every week of a baby in that week.

But beyond that, I really wouldn't waste my money on this one. Too expensive, and to un-intuitively designed.

Price: $4.99.

Photo Sunday

31 weeks with nursery paint on my shorts and my anniversary present on my finger.

31 weeks front and slightly goofy.

31 weeks super goofy... I'm making this face because of the approximately 50 shots that P had to take in order to get one without my eyes closed or mouth contorted, etc.

Preggo Nose

So....

I've noticed that I smell different. At least, I think I do. I mean, I can smell *everything* right now. I've been able to smell *everything* pretty much since I got pregnant.

And I've noticed my smell shifting as I got more and more pregnant, but initially, at least, I thought I had the same scent, just stronger, more, not as cover-up-able.

But now... recently... in the past few weeks, I think my scent is shifting.

I don't know that I think of smells the way other other people do... so I don't know how much sense this description will make, but to me, my smell is... richer, sweeter, huskier, darker, thicker....

I don't know what that's all about. But I've been noticing it.

Week 31

Cravings:

*sigh* French fries, which give me heartburn. Cookies 'n' cream milkshakes (from Chick-fil-a), which make me fat.

Aversions:
Things that cause heartburn. Or make me fat. That unfortunately are all I want to eat.

Other symptoms:
Heartburn. Damn you, heartburn! And I'm tired. Oh, so tired! And feeling a little emotionally... unstable. Like I might start crying for no particular reason.

Things bugging me:
Heartburn. Complete lack of energy. I don't even have the energy to be seriously bugged any more.

Current weight: 159.8. I never thought I'd step on the scale and think, "Oh, good, still only 159.8 today." But I am .2 lbs from being up 30 lbs for this pregnancy, so I'll take my 159.8, thankyouverymuch.

Renovations:
Made good progress on cleaning out the office. Still have a ways to go, but we really accomplished a lot in a short, relatively painless time on Sunday. (And then have been useless thus far this week, which I hope to remedy when we get home from work tonight!) We need baseboards in the hall between nursery and guest, cleaning out of hallway between guest and office and ripping out of carpet and scraping of ceiling, and cleaning out of office. Those are the next steps...


Other stuff:

Still doing C25K Week 2. Goodness, it is hot. I haven't run in under 80 degrees in I don't know how long. And this is 80 degrees at 4am. Torture. Pure torture. I am so slow now. Walking would almost be faster, except I'm walking slower too. This morning on my last 2 intervals, I had a little tightening/cramping of the belly - Braxton-Hicks, perhaps? Calmed right down as soon as I got home, but wanted to make a note of it. Not sure how much longer I'll be running for, but at least I can still backwards graduate down another week before I have to stop completely!

The Girls

Boys, this might not be your favorite post, but I won't get too graphic.

So, I went bra shopping on Friday.

I hate bra shopping. Hate it. I always just know that I'm beet red the whole time. Nothing ever fits right and I'm always embarrassed to ask for help. I freaking hate it.

I knew this time going in that I was going to have to get over myself. Be brave. Pretend my little girl was with me (she was!) and set a good example for her. Boobs are normal for about 50% of the population. Needing something to contain the boobs is also normal. There is nothing to be scared of or embarrassed about.

So, I headed over to Victoria's Secret, promising myself some yummy PF Chang's if I could just get through the experience. I walked in, wandered around, feeling a little uncomfortable, until I found the style that I know I like. Then I wandered some more, plucked up my courage, and asked a salesgirl to measure me since I have NO CLUE what size I am. I mean, I didn't really know for sure before... now I REALLY didn't know!

She was nice. Took me into a corner. Measured me. 36D. D!!! 36-freaking-D!!!!!

I walked into that store wearing a 34 B. It was my "fat" bra. You know, from when my boobs were bigger when I was fatter. I've been wearing it since about my 3rd month. Before that, I was still happily ensconced in my A cup. A.

I have gained 3, count them, 3 cup sizes over the course of this pregnancy.

I could scarcely believe her. So I went back over to my little section, and I grabbed a 36C and a 36D, just in case she was over-estimating or something.

She wasn't.

I got into a dressing room and just ogled the cups on that D. No way my boobs would fit in there. There'd be a inch gap between the cloth and the boob! I mean, these things were GIGANTIC!!

Put the bra on. Fit like a freaking glove. Felt great, wonderful, supportive.

Wow. Just... wow.

Week 30 Pics

Guest room is done, moving in furniture!

And we got a new camera lens! 2 kitty pics.

The bump.