Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Blarg: No Baby Yet

Last night I went to the doula for another labor prep massage.  I had been having contractions all day, but again, nothing productive.  (They have decreased in frequency (7-9 minutes apart), but increased in duration (70ish seconds long) and strength since all the false labor started, though.)

Seriously, this woman's massages are miracle-workers.  You go in, and I swear, you come out with the baby hanging around your knees!!  This baby has got to be at zero station now!

As I was driving home, I noticed that the contractions are much stronger.  Good.  Progress.

Then I had them about 5-7 minutes apart, 70-80 seconds long, and strong, strong enough to breathe though, all night long until bed.  In fact, I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep.  And I wasn't sure I wanted Preston to sleep either, because I was afraid maybe this was the real thing.

I eventually fell asleep.  And it wasn't the real thing.

Again.

How do I know?  This morning when I woke up - nothing.


Update:
But then they started back up on the commute in.  And I got to work, and I felt a trickle.  Tmi, but this is a real question for preggos: did I just pee a little, or is my water maybe broken?  Ran to the restroom.  I really don't *think* I was peeing myself... but no "show"... don't know what that was.  Head back to my office.

A few minutes later I get up to go show people something, and another trickle, in kind of a scary, I might not be able to stop kind of way.  Run to the restroom again, this time look before I start peeing - what is coming out *might* be a little brownish...

WTF am I going to do?  I can't even tell if my damn water is broken or not, but I have a big meeting later, and if I'm peeing myself, I need to take care of it.

Run to my car to get some girl stuff.  Now I'll be ok unless it really is my water, in which case, I'll still be ok unless there is some kind of flood/gush.

Back to office, start tracking contractions. 5-7 minutes apart, 60-70 seconds long, and in a pattern of one hard close-your-eyes-and-breathe one and then one weak am-I-actually-contracting one.

If I can make it to 8 or 8:30, I can call the doc and see if they'll see me for my belly check early and look to see if this is water or not...

This is a total mind fuck.  I've just gotta say it.  Mind. Fuck.

Btw, remember how last time the doula said that she thought the baby was long?  This time she also guessed 7.5-8 lbs.

Awesome.

Fuck, dude, I have been wanting her out for weeks, but now that maybe she is on the way, I'm a little freaked!

A lot freaked.

I keep feeling like I'm gonna cry.  Cry because she isn't out, cry because I don't know if I'm in labor, cry because maybe I am in labor.  That's a lot of cry triggers for someone who has been fairly happy throughout pregnancy.

Mind fuck.

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