Sunday, June 21, 2009

Shit Storm -> Silence

There is a reason I haven't been blogging. I can say all I want that work is more stressful (it is), but the truth of the matter is that I haven't had anything very nice to say, so I've been not saying anything at all.

Just after the marathon (I mean literally - the very next day), we found out Preston's AD was in the hospital. She had a colostomy. She was in the hospital basically all the way until March. Then my boss's parents both died within a month of each other, and work truly was a burden for that month, because there was a lot of slack I was trying to pick up. Then on Easter afternoohn, Preston had his Vertebral Artery Dissection (God smoting the pagans, perhaps?), which he is still on medication for, and we felt the effects of that all the way into May.

On my birthday, May 5th, I was eating anything and everything that I wanted. By afternoon, I felt like I was going to puke. The next day, I was tired, and I still felt like I was going to puke. Everyone at work convinced me I was pregnant, and my last period had been a fluke, so I took two pregnancy tests, which were negative, and waited a month before going to the doc for the fatigue, just in case. That whole month, I felt the fatigue. Every day. Some days worse than others, but I can scarcely remember what normal feels like any more. The doc tested me for everything: AIDS and Syphillis (both of which I knew I didn't have, but I'm a fan of the rule-out, if it helps!), Hepatitis, Mono, pregnancy, h. pylori, Kidney function, liver function, thyroid function, blood count and chemistry. They took 6 vials of blood and a cup of pee!!

I waited a week for the results, and everything, I mean everything, was normal.

What am I supposed to do now?

I heard a piece on NPR on my way to work that rang a bell for me. This is not normal, for me to hear about a disease and think that I have it, but this time I just really do. I was tested Wednesday for Celiac, and though I don't have the results back, I started a gluten free diet on Friday.

Also on Wednesday, AD went back into the hospital, and Preston came home with a 102 fever and seriousl GI problems. She's still in ICU, but we haven't seen her because of P's sickness. He's starting to feel a bit better, but I think he may have passed it on to me.

That's it. 6 months of insanity.

I write this now because I am hopeful that my part in the insanity is almost over. I hope this test shows I have Celiac so that I can fix this mind-numbing fatigue. I hope Preston's follow-up on his VAD in late July shows him healed so that he can go back to normal. And assuming AD is ok, we are having a vacation to London soon.

So, it is my ferverent hope that my roller coaster is about to come out of its prolonged free-fall, and start actually climbing the hill again. That's my hope, and I'm sticking to it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Signed Up for Another One!

The New Orleans Mardi Gras Marathon/Half just got taken over by Rock n' Roll, and they are signing up (like Dallas) the first 500 people for $50. I'm in!!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Rock n' Roll Dallas Half Marathon

Saw in my email that this event was going to be inaugurated 3/14/2010. Ah, my home town. I couldn't resist. $50 entry fee to the first 500 participants. I'll be there! (And it fits perfectly with my brilliant Winter of Halfs plan for running domination.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I Had a Dream

Of a beautiful world where I didn't dream about work.

That dream was not reality last night. This was my dream (which really sheds light on how I'm feeling about work):

I was in my Boss's car with Preston and a man we'll call ShelfDude. Boss was driving, I was in passenger seat, P behind me, and Dude behind Boss. My cell phone rings and it is BlackBetteMiddler who always calls everyone "Sweetie" (BBM for short). In the dream the parking garage at work apparently is accessible from every level of the work building (instead of half a mile away like IRL), and my car is parked just outside the Vault entrance. The moving company is ready to move the Vault items into the new wing, so they're going to tow my car (the Red Menace). I start freaking out - I've parked in a perfectly legal and valid space, and they can't just tow my car because they don't like it!! At a certain point, I give up and hand the phone to Boss, knowing that she's more diplomatic than I, and thus has a better chance of saving my car. I turn around to P and ask him if he could catch a bus back to the Library to save my car. He nods, so I turn back to Boss, but now she and ShelfDude have switched physical places in the car, and the car is now a huge truck, and he is on my phone arguing with BBM. I try to get his attention to make the suggestion that P pick up my car. He gets super annoyed, tells BBM to hold on, grumpily listens to me, cuts me off, gets back on my phone, grabs a plate of half-eaten food off the dashboard and uses a knife to start scratching notes to himself in the food. I turn to look incredulously at Boss, who has a pair of blunted scissors and is feigning stabbing herself in the neck with them. The phone snaps shut and I turn to ShelfDude who says, "Your car will be towed in one hour." I start to cry.

And the dream ends. I wake up, pissed, to start off my day.

That dream packed in a bunch of actual imagery from my day yesterday, along with all the insanity, and the frustration. I wish I had dreamed it earlier in the night, so I didn't remember, and so I wasn't left with the lingering anger and frustration that I'm still feeling.

3 miler this morning, with the last quarter mile at max effort (felt like I was going to puke), and then drills. Lunged until I could lunge no more, and am not sure I can stand back up from this desk!

That is all. Thank the gods this is Friday for me.