Friday, October 29, 2010


I don't have anything interesting to say any more. I'm exhausted. Z still has day and night pretty effectively mixed up. And every day I try to learn a little mire about how to care for her, and me, and a house too. This is the hardest thing I've ever done, yet it isn't interesting. So there you have it.

146.2: not allowed to run until 6 week follow-up, but trying to get out and walk a few times a week (at 45 min now, working up to an hour), and ride the recumbent, and basically puddle at working out until I get the go-ahead...

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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Quote of the Day

Preston, with a cat in his lap: "All I do when I pick something up is jiggle it and pat it and try to make it stop."

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Friday, October 22, 2010

Birth Story

I'll pick this up from "Blarg: No Baby Yet", since that was the beginning.  I made it til 8 and called the doctor, and they told me to come right in.  I got in my car and drove there (approximately 10 blocks), and they put me into a room.

The doc came in, took one look at me, and said, "Oh yeah, you're in labor."  She pointed to a spot I had left on the floor and asked if that is what I had been seeing.  I freaked: I hadn't realized I had left a spot between undressing and climbing on the table, but yes, that was what I had been seeing.  She had me lay back, and without even touching me declared my water broken.  Then when she did the exam I felt a huge gush.  She pronounced me -2 station, 80% effaced, and 4 cm dilated.  Then they had me dress and put me on a monitor and told me to call P to come pick me up.  I called P, Mom, Patti the doula, my boss, my boss's boss, and my assistant manager.  The contractions were only still 5-7 minutes apart, and honestly didn't feel any different from what I had felt before.  Everyone I talked to remarked on how calm I sounded.  How else was I supposed to be?  I just kept thinking: holy crap, I'm having a baby today.

P arrived and a nurse took me to the front door with orders to go directly to the hospital.  I had P take me back to my car so I could drive it back to work (where parking is free and I had arranged for a friend to take it to her home if my water ever broke at work - never of course expecting that it would actually happen!), then switched to P's car and started frantically chugging water and eating food, knowing that I wouldn't get the chance again once we got to the hospital.

Got there, were ushered straight to a room, where I stripped and was helped into a hospital gown.  Mom and Patti arrived quickly.  Patti helped me onto the birthing ball, put on a hypnobabies CD, and started massaging my back.  The contractions quickly picked up and got much stronger from there.  The nurse came in and checked me and declared me 5 cm.  The exams during labor are so much more painful than any I had ever had before!!  Then the doc came in and also declared me 5.  I had never met her before as Dr. S was on vacation, and I took an unfortunate dislike to her immediately.  She told me she wanted to put me on Pitocin because my water was broken and I "wasn't progressing" and there was a risk of infection.  I was totally stunned.  All the books I read said you had 24 hours to get the baby out after your water broke.  Also that Pitocin would make the contractions way more painful.  It had only been just over 4 hours since my water broke at that point!!

I told her no.

She went away and I kept laboring.  The contractions got longer and harder.  The doc came back and pushed Pitocin again around noon, as I was still at 5 cm.  I said no, but I said if I hadn't made any progress in 2 more hours, I'd let her.  I got off the monitor and got in the shower, which helped a little, but the contractions continued to increase in intensity/pain.  Then I got in the bed into a sitting position with my legs almost indian style.  I could feel the baby coming down and it hurt so very very badly.  I worked through it for as long as I could, but finally I asked Mom and Patti to leave the room and told P I wanted to ask for the epidural.  He said that was fine, and when everyone came back I asked.  The doc was due in 20 minutes, so they talked me into waiting: what if I was in transition and this was the worst part - would I still want the epidural?  No, so I waited.

Doc came back, checked me, I was still 5.  I told her I wanted the epidural and she could start the Pitocin.  The anesthesiologist showed up thankfully really quickly.  I was really scared that I'd have a contraction while he was in there, since my contractions were coming in a pattern of 2 strong ones, with the 2nd followed immediately by a weaker (but still painful as hell) one.  But he got it in me, and the relief was within 2 contractions.  THANK GOODNESS.  That was the BEST decision I ever made.  Screw natural labor.

They had asked Preston, Mom, and Patti to step out during the procedure.  They took the opportunity to grab some food, and by the time they got back I was smiling and happy and pain-free.  Preston told me later that he couldn't believe the transformation.

After that, we all sat around and shot the shit for an hour or two.  The only negative thing for me was that since I wasn't distracted by pain, I discovered I was hungry and thirsty.  I requested and ate 3 or 4 popsicles while we waited, but they barely took the edge off.  As for the baby, she started having little decelerations in her heart rate when I'd have a contraction.  They decided that she was probably tangled in her cord, and so began irrigating my uterus with some liquid to cushion the cord from the baby.  It was funny to me because they kept trying to tell me about the procedure like they were afraid I'd say no: once I had that epidural, I didn't care any longer what they wanted to do, short of a c-section!

When the nurse checked me again, I was 9 cm, and they called the doc to tell her to come my way.  She actually took quite awhile to show up, but since I had the epidural, I had no urge to push, so we waited.  Apparently they call this "laboring down", and it is supposed to make the pushing phase shorter.

Then they decided for me to try "practice pushes".  This is bullshit.  There was never any transition from practice to the real thing, except that the doc eventually showed up.  They'd jack my legs up, I'd hold onto them, and push for all I was worth, all the time thinking of pooping the baby out.  But I couldn't feel a thing.  They got me a mirror and almost immediately you could see the top of her head coming out with the pushes, and going back in when I rested.

I never could understand before how labor could be hard if you had the epidural.  I mean, if you weren't feeling the pain, what was so difficult about it?  Let me tell you: it is absolutely exhausting.  I pushed and pushed, and it seemed like she'd never come out of me!

At some point I tore a little, and the doc told me I'd need an episiotomy.  I told her I'd rather tear, but she said that I really really needed it, that the tearing on me would be extreme and that the baby's head was just too big for me.  I was really pissed off, but what was I going to do?  I let her cut me, and the next push, the baby came out!  Her cord was wrapped around her neck, but they slid it off as she came out.

I was watching the whole thing in the mirror like it was on television, and finally the doc called me name and said, "She's out, look over here now."  Preston cut her cord and they put her on me, where she promptly shat out the biggest meconium poo in the history of the universe.  All over me.  Funny how after all they worrying about the grossness of changing diapers, she greeted me by shitting on me.  And I didn't care at all.  Instant transformation - crazy stuff!  They cleaned us both up, all while I was petting her face and cooing at her to try to get her to calm down.

Then they took her away and cleaned her and weighed her and did all that stuff, all while the doc delivered the placenta and stitched me up.

Then they brought her back and we had our first try at breastfeeding, before they took her down to the nursery.  At some point someone had brought me in some food and set it down at the foot of my bed, and when everyone went with the baby, I was left staring at the food but unable to reach it alone in L&D.

Will pick up the story with an "Aftermath" post later.

Monday, October 18, 2010


I'm sitting here with a tiny human asleep on my chest. How did this happen???

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Friday, October 15, 2010

Tape Residue

9 days postpartum and I *think* I've finally got all the tape residue off my skin. Hopefully.

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I was public as heck regarding my preggo weight gain, so I'm not reckoning in changing anything now.

I'm counting my final weight as 170 lbs, because the morning I went into labor I was 169.4, and I figure rounding will make it easier. That was a weight gain of approximately 40 lbs.

The day I got home from the hospital, I weighed just over 157, but I kept losing every day.

Yesterday morning, 8 days postpartum, I weighed 150.0 lbs. Halfway there! I know the weight will stop falling off soon and the real work will begin, but I can't say enough how relieved I am to be starting from my pre-preggo heaviest weight. Because I *know* I can lose the rest from here. And that is very comforting.

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

First Walk

20 minutes, slowly, with stroller. But it is a start!!

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Zoe Is Here!!

Once I get the chance, I'll write up a birth story. But for now, she was born October 6 at 7:30pm after 13.5 hours of labor. She weighed 6 lbs 15 oz and was 19.75 inches long. And here are a few pics!

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Blarg: No Baby Yet

Last night I went to the doula for another labor prep massage.  I had been having contractions all day, but again, nothing productive.  (They have decreased in frequency (7-9 minutes apart), but increased in duration (70ish seconds long) and strength since all the false labor started, though.)

Seriously, this woman's massages are miracle-workers.  You go in, and I swear, you come out with the baby hanging around your knees!!  This baby has got to be at zero station now!

As I was driving home, I noticed that the contractions are much stronger.  Good.  Progress.

Then I had them about 5-7 minutes apart, 70-80 seconds long, and strong, strong enough to breathe though, all night long until bed.  In fact, I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep.  And I wasn't sure I wanted Preston to sleep either, because I was afraid maybe this was the real thing.

I eventually fell asleep.  And it wasn't the real thing.


How do I know?  This morning when I woke up - nothing.

But then they started back up on the commute in.  And I got to work, and I felt a trickle.  Tmi, but this is a real question for preggos: did I just pee a little, or is my water maybe broken?  Ran to the restroom.  I really don't *think* I was peeing myself... but no "show"... don't know what that was.  Head back to my office.

A few minutes later I get up to go show people something, and another trickle, in kind of a scary, I might not be able to stop kind of way.  Run to the restroom again, this time look before I start peeing - what is coming out *might* be a little brownish...

WTF am I going to do?  I can't even tell if my damn water is broken or not, but I have a big meeting later, and if I'm peeing myself, I need to take care of it.

Run to my car to get some girl stuff.  Now I'll be ok unless it really is my water, in which case, I'll still be ok unless there is some kind of flood/gush.

Back to office, start tracking contractions. 5-7 minutes apart, 60-70 seconds long, and in a pattern of one hard close-your-eyes-and-breathe one and then one weak am-I-actually-contracting one.

If I can make it to 8 or 8:30, I can call the doc and see if they'll see me for my belly check early and look to see if this is water or not...

This is a total mind fuck.  I've just gotta say it.  Mind. Fuck.

Btw, remember how last time the doula said that she thought the baby was long?  This time she also guessed 7.5-8 lbs.


Fuck, dude, I have been wanting her out for weeks, but now that maybe she is on the way, I'm a little freaked!

A lot freaked.

I keep feeling like I'm gonna cry.  Cry because she isn't out, cry because I don't know if I'm in labor, cry because maybe I am in labor.  That's a lot of cry triggers for someone who has been fairly happy throughout pregnancy.

Mind fuck.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Week 38

I'm hungry!!  Cookies n' cream ice cream (Blue Bell).  Still pining over Pei Wei chocolate chip cookies... might have to suck it up and make a run this afternoon...  French fries have been high on the list, lately, too.

Other symptoms:
Still sleeping sitting up.  Was sleeping a bit better until Sunday night when I just couldn't get comfortable.  Still snotty from my sickness, with an occasional hacking cough, but I feel much better.  When my BP spikes, I feel funny in my chest.  Lots of pointless contractions.  Grumpy stomach.

Things bugging me:
No.... I am calm, cool, collected, mellow, trying to keep that BP down, and trying to create an environment that The Kid would want to come into.

Current weight: 168ish

Final board has been laid in the loft.  Now for sealing.  Then, the office, and baseboards all around.  We're on the home stretch.  The office is the tiniest room in the house, and it should be an easy one for P!

Other stuff:
Another (mostly) relaxing weekend.  Laundry all done on Saturday, P finished the loft, some good eating, some good cleaning, few good walks to encourage the eviction of The Kid.  As much sleep as I could cram in.  Just a waiting game at this point.

I went ahead and scheduled another doula massage for Tuesday, and next belly check is Wednesday.  Hoping that if I schedule appointments, she'll come. :-)

My Mom has gone ahead and come into town.  She is certain that The Kid is coming soon, and she thinks she can help out.  In all honesty, I'm of two minds regarding this.  I'm a little short-fused, and Mom in large doses gets on my nerves in the best of times.  But it would be nice to have someone else around right now.  Soo... here she came.

Monday, October 4, 2010

My "Status": Signs of Labor

Let's review the common signs of labor and my current status in each category (this should be fun).  I've tried to keep this from being tmi, but if you don't know what a sign is and you google it, that's on you.

Dilation:  Check. 2-3 cm at last appt. (Friday)

Effacement:  Check. 60% (again) at last appt.

Baby "drops":  Check. -1 station at last appt. Plus an increased ability to breathe and a refreshing lack of heartburn.

"Discomfort":  Check.  My pelvis/tailbone feels like I've repeatedly slammed down in a concrete chair.  My belly has developed its own center of gravity.  I keep falling over.  I can't sleep.  All positions, standing, sitting, laying make me want to change my position.  My back is even starting to hurt a little, for the first time in the entire pregnancy.

Spurts of energy:  Check.  Think this would have started earlier if I hadn't been sick, since I layed on the couch for several days staring at the dust on the TV stand and wanting to kill it, but from yesterday my house is cleaner than it has been in awhile.  (And thanks to Preston for helping with this, and to Tyler and Mara for deciding to come by on Sunday and thus giving us some outside impetus.)

Grumpy stomach: Check. 5 days now.

Loss of mucous plug:  I *think* so...

Contractions: YES.  Check.  Super check.  Getting-really-sick-of-having-them-without-them-being-real-labor-CHECK.

"Show":  Nope.

Water breaks:  Nope.

So, seriously, all signs pointing to impending labor.  Let's get on with it already!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

As Seen On TV

Will you run a marathon with me?

I don't even know if I can run a marathon.

Of course you can. Anyone can, you just have to train for it.

Well, ok, when is it?

2 weeks.

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