Truth

"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth." --Albert Einstein

Truth is my highest value. I mean, literally my absolute highest value.

Long ago I was burned by those who didn't tell the truth. Long ago I was burned by myself not telling the truth. Life is simpler, happier for me when truth surrounds me. I rarely even conceal the truth by omission any longer. Some of that comes from being confident in who I am. I no longer seek the approval of others, and value those who love me as I am all the more highly, and truth-telling informs that philosophy. But it is also simply easier. I don't skulk in dark alleys, flitting from shadow to shadow, always wondering if I'll be caught in a lie. And I am happier this way. I don't shy away from the conflict that truth sometimes bears, nor the pain. Because the truth is always better than a lie.

Which is why I'm being twisted and turned into knots over something that is going on at work. I've been offered another position in my company. But forbidden to tell anyone about it. I want this position, thus I feel I cannot disobey she who forbade me. (Though I have directly disobeyed with some friends, and hinted to others - those who I truly believe won't spread my secret.) But a registration for a conference has caused me to have to actively pretend that I am staying here, not just passively not mention it. And it is driving me crazy. Crazy!!

Someone who knows told me today that I should call her, and tell her how much this is bothering me. She said that I'm just too good of a person. I don't often think of myself as a good person. (Not bad either, I just don't really qualify myself in that way.) But I am certainly a truthful person, and authority is truly the greatest enemy of truth for me right now.