Warning - this one is really random, even for me. I'm not really having a life crisis. It is just that I had the weirdest realization that I'm getting older the other day. Here's the story.
So I'm in a meeting at work with the *only* attractive man that we have on the whole staff. I'm serious on that one. There aren't a lot of guys that work in the library, and of those that do, well, B, when you left, it got pretty bare for boys to look at. (I'm married, not dead. And I've already talked to P about this, so don't anyone feel sorry for him. :-)) So anyways, the only attractive man on staff is making this presentation in this meeting and he tells a personal story that starts out like this: "I've been married to my wife for 21 years and we've been a couple for 26...." And it just SLAMMED into me: goodNESS, I think this guy is cute and I was FIVE YEARS OLD when he got together with his wife. Ewwwww..... But then I started running numbers in my head and realized if they were highschool sweethearts or something, that only necessarily makes him in his early 40's (even though I'd really guess he is a bit older than that). Which sounds old to me, even though I intellectually realize it isn't old in practice. It just sounds too old for someone that I think is attractive. But I do think he's attractive. Which then made me feel old. (I realize this makes very little sense.)
So then I started thinking. The last guy I dated before P was 8 years older than me - I guess that makes him turning 40 this year. Wow.
And then I started thinking about my laminated list and wondering how old those guys were. (Knowing already that they are all older than me and that this was going to be an exercise in digging the hole deeper.)
1. Daniel Craig (born 1968, according to imdb, making him...44)
2. Hugh Jackman (also 44)
3. Kevin McKidd (39)
I've actually got 2 open slots on my list - wouldn't want to get into an Isabella Rossalini situation!
And also, thank you Kevin McKidd for being hot and not 40 yet!!!!
But I think the reason this is so odd to me is that if you had looked at my list 10 years ago, most of the guys on it would have been about my age... I think. Or at least close to it. And I started bugging P about his list and it seems to me that most of the women on his list are about our age. Except Jennifer Anniston. But let's face it, if I was into girls, she'd totally be on my list, too.
Actually, if you went farther back, I guess when I was in my early teens, most of the guys would have been way older. Brad Pitt, for example, back in the day, and he's even older than the 3 on the list now! Maybe we do some sort of weird circular thing... you know, you're a teen and the sexy guys are the slightly older ones - 20's. But as you approach and hit your 20's, your taste doesn't really change, so the cute guys are about the same age as you (Heath Ledger is my example on that one). Then as you get nearer to your 30's, that teen look loses its appeal and suddenly you like guys who look more...like men? And it seems like that makes them necessarily older than you again. All of that to say that I've realized that I've truly moved into a new phase of life. I mean, intellectually I knew I had. I'm someone's mom now, and all that. But my actual *tastes* changed. That's real subconscious proof. And that realization was... arresting.
Luckily I still think my husband is hot. ;-)
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