Wednesday, January 19, 2011

2am

It is 2am and I am pumping. P just rolled over to me, laying on my back in bed with a pillow hugged to my chest, and said, "Can you please roll over?" Apparently I was taking up too much room for him. Even though, for the record, I was on my side AND I was sharing it with a cat, but whatever. Anyways, my response was, "Roll over, sure, if you want my boobs to explode." My best visual is this: imagine you are lying on your back in bed. There are two bowling balls in paper lunch sacks (the flimsy kind) attached to your chest with... oh, let's say glued on with Elmers. Now mentally roll over.

See, here's what happens: I start out on my side. At some point soon after midnight my discomfort becomes so great, I end up on my back. This happens every single night. I hate sleeping on my back. And I hate feeling like my bowling balls are going to break through their sacks. So I sleep shittily after that point and NO I CANNOT ROLL OVER. Thanks and enjoy your significantly more restful than my sleep.


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