Given that I had no idea what life (and my Kid) would have in store for me, this what what I made my goal: "I would like to return to my pre-pregnancy weight range (125-130 lbs), start working out regularly again, start back to work and maintain a healthy work-life separation."
I chose to let my real goals in smaller monthly increments since I thought I'd have a better idea of what life was like on a monthly basis. But, I've fallen down on most of my monthly goals this year. I think partially because I was setting super-high targets so that I'd have the motivation to struggle to achieve them, even if I knew when I was setting them that there was no way that they'd happen. I think another part of it is that I continue to set goals like I'm not ruled by a tiny toddler terrorist. (But let's face it, I am.) And I think the final, and perhaps most important, component is that I've been struggling with my motivation.
So what have I accomplished this year? Well, I didn't hit my goal range. But I did lose weight. Weight on January 1, 2011 was 148.8. Weight this morning was 138.8 (cringe). I'm not working out as much as I want, but when I look back over the year, I did actually log a good number of sessions (190 as of Dec 19), punctuated by several big gaps reflecting sickness and baby issues. I started back to work, and for my glowing success, I have found what I think is a healthy balance - what I've discovered is that I don't take my work home with me, either physically or mentally with the Z at home, and that is a *wonderful* thing! I also nourished a tiny human from my body for the ENTIRE YEAR. And I did 5 races this year - that's not nearly as many as in the past, but it is an accomplishment since races are much more logistically difficult than they used to be!
Goals for 2012 are still nebulous. And I'm still pretty sure that I'm pie-in-the-sky regarding what is realistic for me with the Shrimpie around. BUT, I do have goals.
- I want back in that goal weight range (125-130).
- We're down to breastfeeding only morning and night at this point, and I want to make the mental shift from eating for breastfeeding to eating for myself, for weight loss (until I'm in that range), for workout-fuel. (Difficult because I don't think I'm ready to want to lose my milk or quit breastfeeding, but I do feel like I need to re-focus my eating and relationship with food. We've breastfed for 15 months, now, and let's face it, the Z doesn't *need* me for nutrition any longer.)
- I want to do "more" races. I think having a looming race helps with my motivation. I've been experiencing post-race doldrums, so I need to keep races on the calendar. It is ok if I stick with short races again this year, I think that helps with the Kid around, but I would like to get back up to 10Ks, and I'd also like to be ready for the 8 mile Turkey Trot next Thanksgiving in Dallas.
- I want my working out to be more regular/more satisfying. This past year I struggled with being really regular - I worked out regularly in fits and starts. I allowed myself to get derailed by sickness, lack of sleeping through the night, etc. I might still get derailed by these things, but I need to recover faster - i.e. don't throw in the towel on the whole week because Z didn't sleep through Sunday night! I also want to be more satisfied with what I do - I often found myself just hopping on the stationary bike as a default. And while it was better than nothing, I don't feel good about it because it isn't hard enough. I need to really work, I need to really make the time count if I'm going to put it in. Stationary biking just won't cut it unless I'm sick or in need of recovery time.
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