When the Kid became a Person

So P and I were watching SYTYCD(!) the other night, and there was this kid on there with spina bifida in a wheelchair. P asked me what I thought we would have done if we found out The Kid had something like that wrong with her. I told him I reckoned we would have found out in the 13th week screening, and I reckoned we probably would have seriously considered terminating the pregnancy. (Don't judge, please. There is no way of really knowing what anyone would do in that situation until they are put in it. I know that many kids who have problems of that ilk, or Downs, or any other number of things wrong are born to loving parents, and often those children become a true light in the eyes of everyone who meets them. I know all of that. But I also know I would have considered terminating this pregnancy, given my age, our financial position, etc.) Then I started crying. I felt terrible for even saying that I would have ever considered that.

And that's when I realized that this pregnancy isn't abstract for me any more. I know at 13 weeks I would have considered it. But somewhere after she started kicking, she became a person to me. She already has a personality, and I could never think of doing anything that would harm her. I cried even thinking about it.

I know in pro-life/pro-choice debates there is often a question of when a fetus becomes a "life". For my child, that point was right around 18 weeks. And I finally caught on to that around 21 weeks. And it is a big realization for me. Huge.

So there it is.