Week 24

Cravings:

Still any kind of fruit. Also vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. Last night I had a sudden urge to make brownies. I didn't really feel the craving to eat them, but the house was going to explode if I didn't make them. So I made them. Then ate them with cold milk. They were yummy!

Aversions:
Not eating.

Other symptoms:
Getting some crampy feelings in my belly occasionally. And sore in my rear a little. Kid was up on the sciatic again the other day - boo! Oh, and nesting. Hardcore, undeniable need to clean stuff, organize stuff, do stuff at home.

Things bugging me:
I'm in kind of a funk. I don't know a better way to say it than that. Yesterday morning, I looked in the mirror and I was just so *not* cute. And I really wanted to feel cute.

Preston did finally get the fan up (yay!!!), so I have moved on to being bugged that the floors won't be in town in time for us to work on them this coming 3 day weekend. I will compensate by having a full list of other stuff we need to do, though, of course.

Having to come to work when all you want to do is nest really sucks.

Riding my bike (on the trainer) is really making my ass hurt. Like, more than ever before. I don't know if it is encouraging spreading or something....??? I may have to bust out the reclining bike soon and take to it instead...

Also, running is getting harder. I started back with C25K Week 2 after vacation, and I'm still pulling off 90 second intervals, but I'm not going past 90, and sometimes 90 is a struggle. The belly is really bouncing around, and I just don't feel like I can breathe very well. I'm sure I'm running so slow that Preston could walk next to me, but I feel like I'm working so hard! Every run I make it a little less far than the previous run, yet I'm running the same amount of time. I'm not sure how much more running I have left in me, and that scares me. I really rely on running for self-confidence and mood regulation. I'm trying not to let it get me down, but I am definitely struggling with that this week.

Current weight: 152.2 I am now officially the heaviest I have ever been.

Ultrasound:
Had an ultrasound yesterday. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to be freaking out, nor did I want to jinx anything... my last ultrasound (18 weeks), showed that The Kid's head was too small. The doctor told me about it and not to worry about it, that the ultrasound techs are measuring something so small that the tiniest misplacement of the measuring mark can make a reading look wrong. Or that the angle of The Kid could have been funny. Or something. So, don't worry, but she wanted a follow-up. Well, I tried not to worry, though in fits of hormones I'd wail at Preston, "What if The Kid is a pinhead???". Anyways, yesterday was the follow-up. I am happy to report that her head is of normal size for her gestational age. Thank the gods! Actually her head and all her other bits were measuring large for her age - between 25-26 weeks instead of 24 weeks. Of course, I think that supports my theory that my due date is set a little on the late side, but we'll see.

Oh, and I got *the best* picture of her off the ultrasound. Will post when I have time to scan this weekend.

That is actually a long story, too. The ultrasound machine wasn't printing. The tech took all the shots she needed, plus this one awesome shot of The Kid's face. And it actually looks like a face!! Not like a skull, but like a face!! Anyways, she finished my exam, after taking like 40 shots/measurements of the head, and went to consult with the supervisor person about the measurements. While she was out, another lady comes in. I was actually initially scared, as I thought this might be someone coming to tell me that there was truly something wrong with the head, but turns out that she was going to try to fix the printer. She couldn't, so sends in another lady, who did. Then she comes back in, tells me the Kid's head is fine, and can she ultrasound my belly again so we can get some pics because it can't print out the ones she already took. I heartily assented - it was like 2 for the price of 1!!, and she took a few shots (among them confirming without a doubt that it is a girl - we could see the 3 lines and everything!), but I lamented the loss of the precious picture. So she tried to go back and print it and turns out she could, yay! On my way out, she thanked me for being such a nice, happy patient!! Yay, me! (I was nice and happy, I mean, nothing was her fault, and I was grateful to be getting to see The Kid and maybe get some more pictures. I think it'd be cool to be an ultrasound tech, I mean, I bet most of their job is so happy... but maybe I'm wrong...)

Anyways, brought the picture home to Preston and wow, you should have seen his face - I mean, this looks like a kid in there. He was totally floored. It was really cool.

Nesting and Venting

Dear Diary,

(Or at least that's how I feel right now. This is a venty post.)

We bought this house in 2006, knowing that we'd want to replace all the flooring and do some work to it. Every winter since then I've been bugging P to get going with it, thinking that we should do it when it is cold to save ourselves the sweat in "sweat equity". It never happened.

When I found out I was pregnant, one of the first things I said to P was, "I'm not uncrossing my legs for this kid to come out until we have new floors." Along with that was a reminder that it'd be summer soon, and it'd blow to be doing hard-core renovation upstairs during the summer.

The months went by, and he did nothing.

Finally, I started freaking out. My instincts are telling me to nest. I need to create a pretty little room for my kid. Like, now. And I need a place to put all of these wonderful and most welcome baby hand-me-downs that I'm receiving. Right now they are just in a heap in the loft. I don't even know what I have, so I can't tell people what I need!

Finally I bitched and moaned enough for P to start ripping out the carpet in the nursery. That took like a month or more. Waaaaaaay longer than necessary. Held up by stupid shit like he didn't know if the trash guys would pick it up. Finally the carpet is out. Finally the ceiling is scraped. Finally the ceiling is primed and painted (though it needs a few touch-ups before the floor goes down). Finally the walls are painted.

We go today to order the floors - 7 to 10 business days. GRRRRRR. Should have been ordered 4 days ago when we finally agreed on which to get!

I tell him, fine, put in the ceiling fan while I start cleaning out the guest room to get its carpet ripped out, since we lost next weekend to laying floors, we'll rip out carpets next weekend instead.

This fan took hours last night, literally all day today (still not done at 4:30pm), punctuated by tons of cussing and trips to Home Depot.

Ok, I get that there were issues with the fan. The previous owners had totally jury-rigged the thing in there, and it really wasn't safe, and I appreciate that he doesn't want The Kid to die when a fan falls on her. Really, I do. But does he thinking that bitching about it helps? Just get it done.

For that matter, just get it all done. I get that you work all week. So do I. And I get that you miss sitting on your ass all weekend and every evening. So do I. But you've made a baby, and we've got it ticking like a time bomb in my belly EVERY DAY. You can't just ignore this. It isn't going to go away. And this may be the last chance we have for a long while to get this place organized before a mini-tornado descends for 18 years.

I know he doesn't have the same kind of hormonal motivation that I have. I get that. But shit, dude, we're under a deadline here!! I know that by the book I have 3.5 months left. I get that. But what if she's early? What if there are more delays? What if we aren't ready?

I reckon we need 3 weekends to lay the floor upstairs. One for one half, one to move the shit from the unfinished side to the finished side, and one for the other half. And that is under the best of circumstances. So hopefully by the end of July. Hopefully by the end of July. Hopefully by the end of July.....

(I love you, Preston. Truly, I do. I know that you can't understand this right now, but I really believe I have our family's best interests at heart. And yours. If we get this done sooner, you'll have more ass-sitting time before the baby comes. Wait longer, and you'll be doing it by yourself because my usefulness will have expired in a giant vat of baby belly. I appreciate the things you are doing. I just don't understand why it has to be like pulling teeth....??)

Vacation redux - and Weeks 22 and 23

*****I apologize in advance for the quality of the writing in this post, especially the vacation redux part. I seem to have regressed to 3rd grade: I went to Galveston. It was fun. Sorry sorry sorry!!*****

Cravings:

Fruit. And vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup.

Aversions:
Nope.

Other symptoms:

Moody. Nesting. Hugely fat.

Things bugging me:My neighbor, BM, has started leaving his light on at night in the passage that connects his house and garage. And it shines right into our bedroom window. The one without the curtain (because it is slanted). Now it looks like it is daylight in my bedroom. All. The. Time.

Current weight: 148.2

Vacation:

We got roped into going to P's family reunion in Fredericksburg on the 19th/20th, which is why we chose to take our vacation when we did. I hadn't felt like planning anything because I wasn't sure how I was going to feel, so I suggested that we stay in the Hangar Hotel, which I figured he'd like, and we stay through til Monday because I've never really done Fredericksburg as a tourist.

It went fine. Except the parts that JaMIL was there for. She insisted on telling me where I needed to register, that I should just take the drugs as soon as they were offered, etc. She also made some snarky comment that really pissed me off about my mom moving in with us. Like I'm gonna turn down free childcare?? And like JaMIL offered?? Ugh! A few times I had to convince P to take me for a walk or a nap or something, just to get away from her. And I had to lay down the law that we'd see her Saturday and Sunday as much as he wanted, but no family stuff on Monday!!Anyways, Saturday night was the reunion. Met a bunch of people I don't know. Yay. Got my extra-sensitive feelings super hurt when P asked me to take the family picture. Like I don't have the right to be in the picture. I was practically crying in the middle of the room. I'm incubating the next generation of this damn family that I don't even know, and he doesn't think I should be in the picture???

Anyways, Sunday was more specific family time with his more immediate family that I've actually met before, so for me that was better. (Except the parts with JaMIL.) We went for a nice walk in the cemetery that morning,

then for a nice Mexican lunch and shopping on Main Street. Back to the hotel for a nap and a JaMIL break, then for a family dinner.

I do have to say one thing for JaMIL: she did give us 5 baby presents as we were leaving. And that was sweet.

Monday we went back to the shops for an hour or so to kill time before our reservation at the famous Peach Tree. I agonized over 2 pieces at Creations in Jewelry, before finally escaping the store without spending anything. Miraculously. Lunch at the Peach Tree was sooooo yummy. I had the quiche and P had the turkey croissant pocket thingy. His was so good I was practically crying, and he took pity on me and traded about midway through. They also had amazing bread, and a super-yummy dessert. I bought a beaded handbag, to top it off, in their shop. Heh. Then we decided to leave, stopped at a peach stand on the way out. We've been eating those peaches all week, and YUM!

Stopped by the outlet mall on 290 on the way back in. P got a Calphalon stovetop grill pan thingy for less than half-price, and I escaped without spending anything! Then we were off home to sweet kitties for 2 nights.

Tuesday evening we went to Little Big's for dinner: burger, fries, shake joint. Yum! Especially the fries! Sliders were good too, though. Could have done without the shake, though. Oh, and we saw this pregnant woman while we were there, and it was insane: she was so skinny! Arms, legs, even her pelvic area = skinny! She was a skinny lady with like a bump attachment! After that we went to see Boeing Boeing at the Alley Theatre. Decent 2nd half funnier than the first. I was exhausted by intermission.

Next morning we got up and moseyed down to Galveston. First stop was Benno's for lunch (overpriced, but as always, yummy), then Wings for some board shorts to cover my fattening thighs. That was an epic FAIL. I tried on every size from M to 2XL with no fitting before I gave up and left almost crying. My fat thighs were destined to see the light of day.

Went on to the Galvez, which I had booked for us to try. It was nice, but I don't know that we'll stay there again. The best part was that it was right across from a stretch of beach on the seawall that wasn't super-crowded - just about a block down from Murdoch's and Fish Tails, 2

blocks from the old Flagship, which is still standing there looking mighty beaten. Next time, I think I'd like to try the San Luis....

Anyways, we wandered over to Murdoch's for P to buy some swim trunks (I told him I hadn't packed his stuff, I swear!!), then down to the beach for a few hours. Then to a Greek restaurant called Olympia. Good, but not one I think I'd go back to. Then over to Fish Tails for ice cream, then crashed.

Next day we got up, got breakfast tacos from Taco C, and went down to the beach where we rented one of those umbrellas ($25 for the day - holy anal price rape, Batman!) and settled in for the long (7 hours!) day. The surf was actually great for boogie boarding - I reckon we spent several hours doing that. I had also brought sandwich makings, apples and oranges, chips, sweets, and drinks, so we'd go out in the water, then back to land to munch, dry off, reapply sunscreen, then back out. We also played catch, fun! The last time P went out to boogie board, I stayed under the umbrella and read - I was getting tired. We left right at 5 when the dude started coming around to collect the umbrellas/chairs.

Btw, preggo swimsuits SUCK. They are made for women who want to lay on a towel on the beach, NOT for women who swim, boogie board, play in the waves.

Back up to the hotel to clean up for our reservation at 901 Postoffice. Good dinner. Quite good. But a little spicy for my taste. And I was so full at the end of the main course that we didn't stay for dessert.

Of course, we discovered as we cleaned up for dinner that we were both severely sunburned. Severely. P got basically his entire torso, due to his lack of re-application of sunscreen. I only got it in the areas I missed. Read here: hands, side-boobs, top of thighs, assorted spots on my back that P missed, and the tops of my feet. But I got it baaaaaaad in those spots.

We didn't have any aloe, so we made another emergency run to Wings to get some. By then I really wanted some ice cream, so on to Fish Tails, then back to the hotel room where I shivered, applied aloe, and ate ice cream. Yes, I know the ice cream wasn't helping. But I'm preggo and it was yummy! But I had to eat it while wrapped up in a huge comforter.
Next morning we watched the USA get jacked our of a totally valid goal in the World Cup, then headed home.

Rest of the weekend was spent with as little clothing hurting our delicate sunburns as possible, relaxing and watching the World Cup.

Preggo Running in Houston Heat

It isn't 8am yet, and it is 81 degrees with 91% humidity and a heat index of 89. Welcome, summer.

I did Couch to 5K, my week 2 modification again this morning. My modification is to run past the 90 second mark to 2 or 2.5 minutes. Up to 3 or 4 minutes on the last interval.

This morning it was probably about 2 minutes, 2.5 min, 2 min, 2.25 min, 2 min, 3.5 min. Walk breaks are whatever is left.... usually 75-90 seconds.

The running is fine. (Except the Kid was on my sciatic nerve again. Bitch.)

But, omg, the heat! The humidity!! I actually took my shirt off before I got home and had the preggo belly out for the world to see while I walked my cooldown. (No one actually drove or walked by to see, but still!) It was freaking miserable out there this morning. Not a breath of air. I've always hated running in the soup of summer Houston, but doing it preggo is practically torture.

Belly Check Report

Boo.

Baby active, heart rate in 140's. I had nice low BP, fundal height measuring 22-23 cm (a little big).

I asked doc if there was anything worth knowing that came out of the ultrasound. Noooo... measuring normal for my dates, except.... her head is a little small.

Wha???

Nothing to worry about. We'll just do a repeat ultrasound in a few weeks to confirm that it is nothing.

Ummm... Yay?

Week 21

Cravings:

Is it food? Give it here. I'll eat it.

Aversions:
Not eating.

Other symptoms:
Still a bit moody.

Things bugging me:
Preston. Sorry dude, but it's my blog, and I'm not gonna lie. (P.S. Things not to say to your pregnant wife when she asks if you are coming to the belly check today: "Maybe, but I was really hoping to get home from work at a decent time. Why do these appointments have to be so inconvenient?" It is going to be a looooooong time before you live that one down. You know, how my pregnancy is so inconvenient *for YOU*.)

Current weight: 144.8 Yep. My body hates me.


Other preggo stuff:

Nursery has had a second coat of ceiling paint, and 2 coats of a kind of minty green color called "Rain Forest". I think it is going to be nice. Now that everything is dry, though, I need to take the bedding upstairs and see how it looks. Goodness, I hope it doesn't suck! No floors yet. :-( Preston and a buddy of his ripped down our old chimney, which was rotting, and built us a new one instead. And I don't know if we'll work on the nursery in the next 2 weekends or not... we're taking a vacation week next week, but we've got some mini-trips planned, and also just need some relaxing time... we'll see.

We also bought a fan:The coolest thing about it is that it also comes with white blades, so when the colors aren't cool any more, we'll just switch them out! I'm not sure it is P's favorite, but I like the idea that The Kid won't have to stare at a completely white ceiling for the first months of her life.

It seems like we might be going more birds and flowers and anything that fits in the colors. Fine. Whatever. I think I might not care any more.


Non-preggo stuff:

Couch to 5K week 4 last Thursday didn't happen. The hip was still sore, and when the alarm went off it was raining. So I said fuck it. Therefore, this morning, I went back to a modification of Week 2: 6x2 minute runs with 90 second walk breaks. That went really well, so will try week 4 again on Wednesday.

I also got up 20 minutes earlier, and I liked it. I did it so P would work out. He is off the Nexium now, thus heralding the coming of his brilliant new and improved diet/lifestyle. We're looking at small changes right now, so a 20 minute bike ride this morning for him was a step in the right direction. The earlier start for me made me almost feel like my old self: early to start, the more working-out to do. It didn't really work out that way, but it may in the coming days. And that wouldn't displease me.

Belly check this afternoon.

Dreaming Preggo

Last night in my dream I was pregnant. My subconscious was probably trying to explain all that kicking.

When the Kid became a Person

So P and I were watching SYTYCD(!) the other night, and there was this kid on there with spina bifida in a wheelchair. P asked me what I thought we would have done if we found out The Kid had something like that wrong with her. I told him I reckoned we would have found out in the 13th week screening, and I reckoned we probably would have seriously considered terminating the pregnancy. (Don't judge, please. There is no way of really knowing what anyone would do in that situation until they are put in it. I know that many kids who have problems of that ilk, or Downs, or any other number of things wrong are born to loving parents, and often those children become a true light in the eyes of everyone who meets them. I know all of that. But I also know I would have considered terminating this pregnancy, given my age, our financial position, etc.) Then I started crying. I felt terrible for even saying that I would have ever considered that.

And that's when I realized that this pregnancy isn't abstract for me any more. I know at 13 weeks I would have considered it. But somewhere after she started kicking, she became a person to me. She already has a personality, and I could never think of doing anything that would harm her. I cried even thinking about it.

I know in pro-life/pro-choice debates there is often a question of when a fetus becomes a "life". For my child, that point was right around 18 weeks. And I finally caught on to that around 21 weeks. And it is a big realization for me. Huge.

So there it is.

Kicky Kickerson Kid

The Kid learned how to kick upwards yesterday. Before yesterday, all the kicks, all the alien bulges in my belly, they were about belly-button high. Yesterday I was standing in my boss's office, with my right arm propped on my belly (comfortable!), and suddenly that arm lurched upwards!

It is a jacked up think when your uterus is supposed to be about an inch above your belly button, and suddenly you get kicked in the rib.

Today she is mostly kicking upwards. Yay.

I really preferred downwards (but NOT the bladder!!).

Week 20

Cravings:

FEED ME.

Aversions:
FEED ME.

Other symptoms:
Still a bit moody. And I think The Kid pushes on something in my right hip area. Makes it so I can hardly walk. Little bitch.

Things bugging me:
Can't make decisions. Physically unable.

Current weight: 141.8


Other preggo stuff:

Nursery is now free from popcorn on its ceiling. And has had a coat of ceiling paint, and a second coat of primer. Next weekend is color painting and (hopefully) starting on the floor!
Went to Babies 'R Us to look at bedding. Could.not.make.decision. Went Friday with Mom and Sunday with P. Need to make a decision so that we know what color to paint the walls. Nothing will make you feel more moronic than a pregnancy-induced inability to make a decision. For serious. I think P finally talked me into the "Sweet Stitches" line. Here is a pic:
He likes it because it is veeeeeeery simple compared to most of the options. I likey because of the blue. And because the mobile that goes with is totally precious. And, you can't tell, but because that hot pink bit on the bumper has stitching on it that sort of looks like cross-stitching, which I do. (I wasn't entirely convinced, because I really wanna animal theme the room. At least a little. P had to convince me that a hummingbird is an animal. And that one animal per item is ok.)

I made an attempt at explaining this need for a theme to him the other day, and I thought it was a good insight into the way that my (not sane) mind is working right now. I think I want a theme because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I go into a huge, gigantic store like Babies R' Us, and I feel totally overwhelmed. There are like 50 options for any given thing. Now, I'm gonna consumer reports the hell out of a car seat, stroller, etc. But for a fucking pillow? Why are there 50 choices??? If I have a theme, more than half of them are automagically eliminated for me. "Oh, this one doesn't have an animal on it - I can't get it!" And I need that. You remember, me, who cannot currently make decisions. The more of this process that is automated, the better. That's what I'm going with, at least.


Non-preggo stuff:

Couch to 5K week 4 went all right last week, but this morning I had to quit because of the hip. Little bugger. It wasn't the running, it was The Kid. Hopefully better luck on Thursday.

There isn't anything else. I feel like it is all about the pregnancy right now.

I do have a vacation coming up week-after-next. Thank goodness!