First "Dr" Appointment

Was lame. Totally lame.

BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE A DOCTOR.

Thank goodness Preston didn't miss work for that joke.

So I went, paid my $20 for the worthless appointment, and was ushered into a nurse's office. I answered 80,000 questions about my medical history (I was expecting this part). One funny bit was the one where it asked if me or my partner had ever had other sexual partners. As I was checking "Yes", I said, "You probably don't see too many "No"s on this one any more, do you?" She said, "Only the Muslims." LoL!!

Anyways, the whole thing was totally surreal. The whole compound is a baby and pregnant person place. There was "Crave" Cafe, and two stores: one for the giant preggers people, and one for the shrimpies. I was practically crying before I even made my way up to the doctor's office. Oh, I mean nurse's office.

Anyways, I told her about my Bell's Palsy and my heart thingy, and she went to consult the doctor about me while I looked around at all of the stuffed animals and baby stuff in her office. Surreal, again.

Then she gave me this bag full of stuff for me to read. Told me not to read What to Expect When You're Expecting, which I had already figured out... it freaks me out. Too much about what can go wrong. Bad dreams.

Then she made me another appointment for 4 weeks. I asked what that one would entail. That one is everything. Full exam, ultrasound, etc. And I'm thinking: so this one was useless.

Then she tells me that I'm no longer allowed to get my heart rate above 120. Allow me to repeat that: I'M NO LONGER ALLOWED TO GET MY HR ABOVE 120. 120!!!! 1-freaking-20!!! Excuse me, but WHAT THE FUCK??? I can't do ANYTHING under 120. Seriously. I can't climb the stairs to the 2nd floor of my own fucking house without a quick spike to 140. The American College of Obstetrics doesn't even recommend a HR any more, just that I should be able to talk. In fact, I'm Googling around, and I can't find a single reputable medical organization that recommends a limit on a woman's HR while pregnant.

Here is the thing: I left the office pissed off that I wasn't seeing a doctor, and knowing that I was going to disobey this "rule" that was just dictated to me. And that is a terrible thing to lay on a pregnant woman. If something happens to my baby and I've disobeyed, I'll always wonder if I should have listened. I'll probably always blame myself. And I probably won't be to blame. And that is a terrible burden to lay on someone. Especially for a rule that the medical associations threw out a long time ago. A TOTALLY ARBITRARY rule that isn't based on the patient, the patient's history, or the patient's state of health. I went to my car and had a little breakdown. I called my mom and cried. (My mom, btw, totally shocked me: she told me to ignore the stupid rule.) I called my husband and freaked out. And then I moved on. But I am wondering if this practice is right for me, and thinking that it may not be. Or it may be that the doctor is fine but the nurse isn't. I wouldn't know: I didn't see the doctor.

Ugh.