Family Planning Update

So, my job decided to go the more difficult route.  I found out last week.

I was absolutely stunned.  I had pretty much decided I was going to run off to Paris and get pregnant, but now, nooooooo, no babies for me until 2014.  I say it sarcastically, but I actually cried.  At work.  Which is stupid, because really that only means like an 8 month delay in baby-making activities.  Ish.  (And an exciting and difficult 18 months of work.  Which is pretty cool.  But I'm not letting that get in the way of my whining.)

There is a part of me that is afraid that if we don't try for another baby now, we never will.  (Terrible two's = effective birth control method.)

There is a part of me that is afraid that if we don't try now, I'm getting too old.  (I know I'm not really.  No one said any of this is logical.)  Maybe not too old for this one - 2014 would mean 32 or 33 - depending on how long it takes to get preggo, but what if we wanted more?  (I don't think that is likely, but I'm in the mood to keep that door wide open until I decide to shut it.)  Then I'd be of "advanced maternal age".  Which at best just means a few extra annoying tests and probably sounds worse than it is.

But also, think about it:  I devoted 30 months, exactly 2.5 years, of my body to Zoë.  10 months of incubation, followed by 20 months of nursing.  That takes a toll on a girl's body.  I know I can do it again.  Right now.  I know I'm ready to do it again.  Right now.  But it seems like the longer I wait, the harder it is going to be to recover.  (This may be a bit logical, but is definitely overly dramatic.)  If I did it again, right now, I'd be 33 1/2 when I was done.  Somehow that seems more reasonable than 35 when I'm done.

I went back and looked at all of my angst filled posts from the last year, and I guess nothing ever really changes, except now I *am* sure I want another.  So at least there is that.  Eventually.  (Sigh.)