It was cooler than last week, a bit, but I struggled just as mightily, regretting the whole time the late night and junk food the night before. (Astros game - sure had fun, though!)
For the first 3 or so miles, I kept thinking I should just turn around. Even though it would have been almost as far back as I had left to go, I couldn't bring myself to trust that the course was only 6 miles. And I was near the back of the pack, and I kept thinking that I was going to get lost. Always a concern form me in the Woodlands, but for some reason I was obsessed with it this morning. It was gnawing at the back of my head, telling me to turn around. (Not to stop running, mind you, just to turn around and go back a way that I was sure of.) It was really odd.
Finally at 3.37 miles in, I realized that turning back now would mean a farther journey home. I was committed. At the 4 mile water stop, I asked for someone to tell me what turns were left in the route, to ease my mind. There was only one.
With the route certain, my mind went back to the junk food, and how crappy I felt. I kept making deals with myself: I could run as slow as I wanted, but no walking; I'd run to 60 minutes, then I could walk. But then that was almost 6 miles, so I'd run to 6 miles. Then that was almost back to base, so I finished the thing out.
I am proud of myself for fighting. Proud of myself for finishing what was probably one of the most difficult 6 mile runs I've ever done. Proud of myself for not walking, and not turning around, and not letting my head get the better of me. I hope I learned something today, and not just that I need sleep and good food, but that I am mentally stronger than I give myself credit for.
No comments:
Post a Comment