I started blogging over there in 2002, and moved here in 2007. The feel over there is very different. I began blogging in the midst of a depression, and looking back, trying to remember - I think I just really used that blog to externalize the feelings that were too big for me. Some fun and easy stuff, some rants, some deep thoughts. I didn't have a purpose like I originally did (and still do to an extent) here. Or on my Bell's Palsy blog, where I really had a definite purpose. I treated it just like a straight up journal, largely unfiltered, just writing.
I miss introspective, deep thoughts Amber (but not depressed Amber). I haven't seen that girl in a long time. I think I'd like to work on getting that aspect of my brain back.
But what struck me when I went back and looked at it was how *similar* I am. I mean, obviously I was that girl, and she is a part of who I am today, but some of the thoughts and feelings I've been having lately I found EXACTLY mirrored over there, 10 years in my past.
This one particularly struck me:
"There are times in my life that I come into disharmony within myself and
everything seems wrong. I must remember that no one can take the joy in my life
from me, except for me. Allowing my worry, my fear, my own inadequacies to leach
the life from me is no way to live. Here I resolve, as I have in the past, and
certainly will again in the future, to enjoy what I have, live in the now, and
banish worry from my mind and my heart, because it is not me."
I need to tattoo that on my arm or something.
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