I've been thinking a lot about this sort of amorphous "I'd like to" form of goal-setting that I'm doing this year, and I think that part of the reason that I need it to be that way is I need successes. I need to be proud of myself and my accomplishments, and I need to be present and happy in my life.
So I think it is about focusing on successes. Yesterday I counted my calories, I exercised, and I created the syllabus for the Spring course I'm teaching. That is one good on the eating, one good on the moving, and one good on things that stress me out. That is a good day. Period.
This morning I exercised, I made a doctor's appointment, and I so far have counted my calories. I took a moment when I got to work to appreciate the work I did last week. I've done good things so far today. That is good.
I'm going to take this and try to keep it up. I think this is a good way to be in my head.
It's about the journey, right? When I lay dying I'm not going to be so proud that I accomplished every workout session or never over ate. I'm going to be happy that I felt good so that I could enjoy my life. Journey before destination. Onward!
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Monday, January 1, 2018
2017 -> 2018
2017 in review - here were my goals:
1. Life: lose weight. (Weight on 12/31 was 150.2.) Fail. Heavier.
2. Life: work out regularly. Fail.
3. Life: eat "better". Fail.
4. Work: make a presentation. Done.
5. Work: write an article. No.
6. Adulting: focus on conscientious spending. (I don't think every month can be green, but how about 9 out of 12? And the year green, definitely.) I'm feeling meh about this but we did actually pull this off. Barely, but 9 out of 12 were in the green and we did end the year up. Baaaaaaarely up. Which is why I'm meh. But up.
7. Adulting: file things every weekend so it doesn't get out of control. Fail.
8. Fun: improve the garden again! Fail.
9. Fun: go on vacation to... somewhere. Total mega epic fail. (F you, Hurricane Harvey.)
10. Fun: take photos! Meh, a little.
11. Fun: stained glass (damnit). Nope.
12: Fun: camping weekends. At least 2. Yes, actually!
13. Fun: read stuff. ;-) Epic yes. Lots and lots of the reading.
14. Fun: complete Texas 6-Pack brew run series. No... I think I did 3 of them?
Here's the thing about 2017: it sucked. It totally sucked. It epically sucked. Sucked big time. There was a ton of work stuff. There was some life stuff. There was Hurricane asshole Harvey. There was depression, weight gain, general malaise. It was just a really bad year all the way around.
There were some good things. I took some pretty pictures. I had some good days. I have a wonderful kid. We did some fun little mini-trips. I am trying to find those lights in the darkness, but the truth is I'll probably remember this year as a year I'd rather not remember.
So, moving on, what do I want out of 2018?
Is difficult for me to even bend my thoughts into something that looks like goals... so how about just what I want to do. These aren't goals. These are just things I want to do.
I want to start exercising again.
I want to start eating more cleanly.
I have had some health issues... I want to get those under control.
I have had some mental health issues... I want to get those out of crisis mode.
I have two really nice vacations planned and I want to go and enjoy myself and take beautiful pictures and feel filled up with peace and joy.
I want to continue working on the money thing. Last year was good - we need to build on that and get a little savings cushion so I quit feeling like the next hurricane might blow us out of the water.
Essentially, I want 2018 to be the year in which I become healthier and happier - mentally and physically. Things aren't ever going to be perfect, but I'd like to get back to a place where I'm a little more capable of rolling with the punches. I am ready. I am willing to put in the work. I know it will be hard, but I'm tired of this place that I'm in. So I'm bringing it in 2018. Let's do this thing.
1. Life: lose weight. (Weight on 12/31 was 150.2.) Fail. Heavier.
2. Life: work out regularly. Fail.
3. Life: eat "better". Fail.
4. Work: make a presentation. Done.
5. Work: write an article. No.
6. Adulting: focus on conscientious spending. (I don't think every month can be green, but how about 9 out of 12? And the year green, definitely.) I'm feeling meh about this but we did actually pull this off. Barely, but 9 out of 12 were in the green and we did end the year up. Baaaaaaarely up. Which is why I'm meh. But up.
7. Adulting: file things every weekend so it doesn't get out of control. Fail.
8. Fun: improve the garden again! Fail.
9. Fun: go on vacation to... somewhere. Total mega epic fail. (F you, Hurricane Harvey.)
10. Fun: take photos! Meh, a little.
11. Fun: stained glass (damnit). Nope.
12: Fun: camping weekends. At least 2. Yes, actually!
13. Fun: read stuff. ;-) Epic yes. Lots and lots of the reading.
14. Fun: complete Texas 6-Pack brew run series. No... I think I did 3 of them?
Here's the thing about 2017: it sucked. It totally sucked. It epically sucked. Sucked big time. There was a ton of work stuff. There was some life stuff. There was Hurricane asshole Harvey. There was depression, weight gain, general malaise. It was just a really bad year all the way around.
There were some good things. I took some pretty pictures. I had some good days. I have a wonderful kid. We did some fun little mini-trips. I am trying to find those lights in the darkness, but the truth is I'll probably remember this year as a year I'd rather not remember.
So, moving on, what do I want out of 2018?
Is difficult for me to even bend my thoughts into something that looks like goals... so how about just what I want to do. These aren't goals. These are just things I want to do.
I want to start exercising again.
I want to start eating more cleanly.
I have had some health issues... I want to get those under control.
I have had some mental health issues... I want to get those out of crisis mode.
I have two really nice vacations planned and I want to go and enjoy myself and take beautiful pictures and feel filled up with peace and joy.
I want to continue working on the money thing. Last year was good - we need to build on that and get a little savings cushion so I quit feeling like the next hurricane might blow us out of the water.
Essentially, I want 2018 to be the year in which I become healthier and happier - mentally and physically. Things aren't ever going to be perfect, but I'd like to get back to a place where I'm a little more capable of rolling with the punches. I am ready. I am willing to put in the work. I know it will be hard, but I'm tired of this place that I'm in. So I'm bringing it in 2018. Let's do this thing.
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