Don't Panic, Right?

I've been having some girl issues.  I won't go into detail, but suffice to say that things keep happening to me for waaaaaay longer than they are supposed to happen, with waaaaaay shorter breaks in between than I'm supposed to get.  In fact, you could basically imagine the "normal" pattern and inverse it and you'd get what I've been going through.  It has been ROUGH.  Both physically and mentally.

About a month ago I called the doc about it and she wants me to go on birth control pills to see if it'll level me out.  I basically filled the prescription and then hemmed and hawed and wasted as much time as possible to see if I could get out of actually doing it.  You see, I am of the opinion that birth control was a major contributing factor in my years of major depression.  I got off it and the fog lifted.  Then I tried to go back on it and turned into a mood-swingy nightmare on a minute-to-minute swing.  Then I decided that it just wasn't worth it.  And I've been off now for... I think 10 years.  So you can understand my reluctance.

But... well... what is happening with my body is not ok.  So I finally broke down late last week and started the pills on Thursday night.

Friday I could see no change.  By Saturday morning I was fielding more facial zits than my 16 year old self, but my mood was stable... until about mid-day.  Since then, well, at least it isn't swinging.  But I am very very (VERY VERY) pissy.  Very.  On the upside, the thing made me start taking the pills finally stopped.

There was this part of me that had hoped I'd try this and it wouldn't be like last time.  That I could go back to a well-regulated thing... it could still happen.  Maybe I was just uncontrollably bitchy this weekend.  Maybe.

Oh, and also I was down to 150.6lbs when I started taking the pill.  I have changed NOTHING about diet or exercise - I was actually really pleased with myself for not breaking the diet this weekend at all, but I'm up a pound. I know that that is a common side effect - after all, I'm tricking my body into thinking it got pregnant, but DAMNIT.  I've been working so hard and it is just such a mindfuck.