On Boston

This post is late for a reason, and the reason isn't my neglect of this blog.

The reason is how powerfully the Boston Marathon Bombing impacted me.  So much that every time I heard about it, which was usually on the radio to and from work, I ended up in tears.  Today, this morning, is the first time I've heard a news story about Boston that hasn't ended in weeping.

And so I believe I'm ready to talk about it now.

I had to truly examine myself for why Boston was so much more to me than any of the other tragic and terrible events that have occurred in the past decade or more.  I mean, honestly, for me, the emotional impact of Boston was greater than 9/11.  Now 9/11 changed the world.  It changed MY world, so please do not think that I am downplaying the horror or the importance.  But I didn't sit around crying about 9/11.  And I have about Boston.  The answer, I believe, lies in running.  Boston simply hit closer to home for me.  I am a runner.  And I may be a lurker in the online running/triathlon community, but I do consider myself a member of the community.  Through blogs and forums I've come to know and respect many in this community.  But also, I'm a marathoner.  I'm a runner.  And I love to run in races.  I do not know how many races I've run in which my husband and daughter have stood at the finish line waiting for me.  And I think that is why it hit so close to home.

I heard a commentary from Amby Burfoot in which he said that the very democratic nature of running is what prevents additional security measures from being implemented.  And he is right.  And the very definition of terrorism is using our freedom, our openness against us.  But I believe that the beauty of democracy, of openness, is in continuing despite it all.

Something that has been looping in my mind, though, is how is this happening?  I had a colleague who said he was surprised that there hasn't been more of this kind of bombing - stuff like that has been happening around the world for a long time.  I do not know why there hasn't, but I can't keep from postulating why it is beginning to.  You know, one of the things I was thinking as I looked at my Kid was that these guys were someone's kid.  All precious and innocent and beautiful.  And look what they turned into - monsters who stole life from the world.  How does that happen, and why?  I wonder if it has always happened, but communication around the world wasn't good enough for us to really be aware?  So it just seems like it is happening more?  Or has the digital revolution divorced us from engaging with other human beings to the extent that people like that are truly detected less, and therefore slip through a crack where they might have been noticed and gotten help, and so it is happening more?  Or has digitalization and the proliferation of news sources made it so that every cry for attention needs to be bigger and more tragic than the previous one?

Whatever it is, whatever is wrong, it is incumbent upon us as human beings to fix our own little corner of the world. 

You know how they used to say "it takes a village to raise a child"?  Well... I've been looking around since we had Z and wondering where my village is.  It seems like something has happened in our society to isolate little units of people.  And then even within our units I look at people on their phones at the dinner table, or in bed, and I think... what did we do to get here?  And how do we go back?

I don't know.  I don't know if I'm on the right track.  Maybe this would have happened if we were all still riding horses around.  I don't know.  But I do know that tragedies of this sort make me want to engage.  They make me want to go home and hug my kid.  And tell people I love them.

But that is the thing, isn't it?  Live your life like there is no tomorrow, because none of us is guaranteed tomorrow.  If you died right now, does everyone you love know you love them?  What would your last words to them be?  The last dinner you had with your family - was it in front of the TV? - was your phone in your hand?  Would you have any regrets?  Shouldn't this natural response to tragedy tell us something about how we live our daily lives?

It just seems to me that you can't go wrong with love, acceptance, peace, kindness.  And that slowing down, engaging the people around you with those positive emotions is both helpful and healing and soothing to your own soul as well as a pleasure and possibly more to theirs.  And if there was more of that in the world, well, who knows where we could go?