Something's Gotta Give

I ran a PR at the Bayou City Classic 10K. I'm really pleased - it was by over a minute-twenty.

But I still can't seem to get up in the mornings. It is Friday, I've only run once this week. The rain has proven too easy an excuse. And I don't feel like working out today, at all. I never do on Friday. And then I never end up doing it on the weekends. And then each week starts over where I swear I'll be better and I am good on Monday and Tuesday, but fried by Wednesday and barely hanging on by Thursday.

Beyond the working out, I'm not happy. Work has been stressful (hence the lack of blogging). I'm to the point where it is difficult for me to give a shit, and that isn't a place I want to return to. To top things off, my normally wonderful boss is suffering from grief that is beginning to look like depression, and she needs me, but I can scarcely lift myself from this funk.

In my personal life, I tell my husband what I need, but he doesn't seem to be willing or able to provide it. I take refuge in books, and it pushes him farther away. And so we circle, like fighters in a ring, each feinting, but never closing the distance between us.

I think I may be teetering on the edge of depression myself. Something MUST give. But I don't know what. I don't know. I feel powerless to choose or change my path, and frightened to let the chips fall where they may if I do nothing.