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| Backyard Bubble |
Monday, January 18, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Progress, and Feeling Twitchy
Last week I ate well all week leading into Boston, as promised. I started tracking on MyFitPal, I sterted actively trying to hit 10,000 steps per day, and I was doing really well. When I got to Boston I tried to eat well but not stress over it too much, and with the exception of one exorbitant meal, I actually think I stayed or very close to my calorie allotment, even without doing exercise each day.
I knew, KNEW, that when I got back my weight would be up, because that is just what my body does when I travel, especially when I fly. But even knowing that, it really hurt when I stepped on the scale the evening I arrived home and saw a 4 pound gain. Now, there are a lot of things wrong with the scenario, including the fact that I know better than to weigh myself in the evening, but I just couldn't resist. I should have resisted. But the very next morning I was a pound down. And the next day, two more. And this morning, two more than that! So I'm actually a pound down from my pre-Boston weight this morning, and I am freaking THRILLED with that.
Ok, so the goal is so keep it up. It is working, keep it up. IT IS WORKING!!!!!
I have two cheats coming up: tonight I'm going to see Tool, therefore I will be awake much later than normal, and I'll probably need to eat more because of that. I also wouldn't put it past myself to have a drink. Because Tool!!! Saturday I'm having my annual lunch with an old friend. Other than those, the goal is no additional cheats til Tuesday. I've actually been managing to have my ice cream within my calorie limits, which is awesome!! Yesterday I measured it out and everything, and I discovered that when I use the small helmet cups, I was dishing myself up just about a serving without measuring, which is a fabulous thing! I like the idea of only having the 3 cheat meals and ditching the cheat dessert combo. 3 and 3 may have been too much room to wiggle and still lose. We will see how it goes from here.
In terms of exercise, I've been good about P90X3 since I got back. Tomorrow I want to go for a run because I signed up for the Piney Woods Trail 5K. I don't think I'm going to get in much specific training, but a few runs leading into it would be smart.
And that leads me into: I'm getting a little twitchy beginning to worry about 5Ks and bike rides and triathlons and lack of specific training. This is a fine mental line to walk with me because P90X3 is working, and I don't want to stop right now, and I don't want to stress myself into a headspace where it is ok to just roll over and go back to sleep in the mornings. BUT I need to start doing at least a little specific training. So I'm thinking maybe continue with basic free-form/P90X3 through the end of January, throwing in a run or a ride on nice days if I want to. I was actually thinking about trying to hit it hard with 2-a-days next week, just to up the weight loss ante. Maybe in February I could shoot for at least one swim, one bike, and one run per week, with the balance of the days being whatever I want, which will probably still be P90X3. Then from there we can shoot into more specific training in March. I like this... I may need to flesh it out a little, but that is my tentative plan. I feel better just typing that!
I knew, KNEW, that when I got back my weight would be up, because that is just what my body does when I travel, especially when I fly. But even knowing that, it really hurt when I stepped on the scale the evening I arrived home and saw a 4 pound gain. Now, there are a lot of things wrong with the scenario, including the fact that I know better than to weigh myself in the evening, but I just couldn't resist. I should have resisted. But the very next morning I was a pound down. And the next day, two more. And this morning, two more than that! So I'm actually a pound down from my pre-Boston weight this morning, and I am freaking THRILLED with that.
Ok, so the goal is so keep it up. It is working, keep it up. IT IS WORKING!!!!!
I have two cheats coming up: tonight I'm going to see Tool, therefore I will be awake much later than normal, and I'll probably need to eat more because of that. I also wouldn't put it past myself to have a drink. Because Tool!!! Saturday I'm having my annual lunch with an old friend. Other than those, the goal is no additional cheats til Tuesday. I've actually been managing to have my ice cream within my calorie limits, which is awesome!! Yesterday I measured it out and everything, and I discovered that when I use the small helmet cups, I was dishing myself up just about a serving without measuring, which is a fabulous thing! I like the idea of only having the 3 cheat meals and ditching the cheat dessert combo. 3 and 3 may have been too much room to wiggle and still lose. We will see how it goes from here.
In terms of exercise, I've been good about P90X3 since I got back. Tomorrow I want to go for a run because I signed up for the Piney Woods Trail 5K. I don't think I'm going to get in much specific training, but a few runs leading into it would be smart.
And that leads me into: I'm getting a little twitchy beginning to worry about 5Ks and bike rides and triathlons and lack of specific training. This is a fine mental line to walk with me because P90X3 is working, and I don't want to stop right now, and I don't want to stress myself into a headspace where it is ok to just roll over and go back to sleep in the mornings. BUT I need to start doing at least a little specific training. So I'm thinking maybe continue with basic free-form/P90X3 through the end of January, throwing in a run or a ride on nice days if I want to. I was actually thinking about trying to hit it hard with 2-a-days next week, just to up the weight loss ante. Maybe in February I could shoot for at least one swim, one bike, and one run per week, with the balance of the days being whatever I want, which will probably still be P90X3. Then from there we can shoot into more specific training in March. I like this... I may need to flesh it out a little, but that is my tentative plan. I feel better just typing that!
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Quick Trip to Beantown
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| Vinyl wall at airport = hours of fun. |
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| Convention center floor. |
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| My slide! |
There was also some tooling around Boston. We arrived on Friday, had an afternoon lobster roll, then headed over to the convention center so I could get all checked in and meet the professor that I work with for my side job. Then we headed to the Children's museum for dollar night, and that was good, but by the end we were all fried.
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| Her very own lobster roll. |
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| Breakfast with Brestha. |
As a side note, apparently we are not understandable in Boston. Preston got a receipt for "Brestha", and I got a coffee for "Emmbra". Awesome.
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| That is one very expensive lobster! |
Sunday I presented and conventioned while P and Z went to the Aquarium.
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| REAL ice skating! |
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| As close as I'll ever get to this finish line. |
It has been a whirlwind and I'm exhausted! I'm taking Friday off and making it a 4 day weekend in which hopefully the last of Christmas comes down and some fabulous relaxing takes place. In the meantime, it is back to the grind, and I'm going to focus on daily exercise and eating well so that I can get the trip poundage back off. |
| 5 new pennies for the collection! |
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
My Fitness Pal
So I broke down on Monday and started using My Fitness Pal again to track calories.
I am still not fully committing to the plan until next Tuesday, January 12. For the record. But some healthy eating and committed exercising leading into a weekend of debauchery can never go amiss. Plus one of my co-workers is on, so you know, strength in numbers and all that.
My Fitness Pal is VASTLY improved since my last usage (4 years ago). I've got it set to count my calories for steps, but to counteract that, I set it for losing a pound a week, instead of the more reasonable half-pound. I am always leery of calculating exercise calories and would prefer to err on the side of not counting anything at all so I can be sure I'm hitting my food targets, BUT if I exercise a lot I do recognize that I need to refuel. Hopefully this will be the best of both worlds, but I'll turn it off if I have to.
I'm also not 100% sure how it is going to interact with my glitchy brain, because I think my plan is to allow myself 3 "treat" meals per week, plus 3 "treat" desserts. The desserts I'll just count maybe as if I ate only one small serving, but really I'll eat a bigger serving. Truly, this is mostly to accommodate my love of Blue Bell ice cream and my belief that a half-cup is not sufficient. The 3 meals are to accommodate Tuesday evenings at my mom's, the lunch-happy culture at work, and eating out once a week. I can still try to make good choices for some or all of these meals - at my mom's, that means limiting portion sizes, and for the eating out, that may mean what I order, or I may let it go, and if I do, that is ok. What I'm not sure about, yet, is how to count these off meals. I'll have to play with it. Yesterday evening was an off meal at my mom's, but it had a bunch of things that were fairly easy to count, so I counted and guesstimated and was ok with that. And it didn't make me go over my daily target (as long as the steps were counted) and so I didn't fry a circuit with a feeling of failure. I have a feeling I'll need a little more data to figure out what method is going to work best for me.
Monday stats:
Calorie goal: 1490
Ate: 1528
Exercise: 300 from P90X3 Accelerator + 387 from 12,686 steps.
I'm not counting the steps calories, so Net: 1228
I would like to be netting 1200-1500 in these first few weeks, so I am very very pleased with that. And also hungry. But pleased.
Tuesday stats:
Calorie goal: 1490
Ate: 1948 (BUT the evening meal was a "treat" meal, which I fully counted!)
Exercise: 200 from P90X3: Triometrics + 371 from 11,754 steps
Net: 1748 without the steps
I am pleased with this net on a "treat meal" day!
One more note: A calorie goal of 1490 seems pretty generous to me. I used to aim right around 1500 for MAINTENANCE. But, I'll see how it goes for a week or two and make adjustments if nothing is happening. It would be nice if I could leave it there because it is high enough to make me feel like I actually have a little flexibility and can actually succeed.
I am still not fully committing to the plan until next Tuesday, January 12. For the record. But some healthy eating and committed exercising leading into a weekend of debauchery can never go amiss. Plus one of my co-workers is on, so you know, strength in numbers and all that.
My Fitness Pal is VASTLY improved since my last usage (4 years ago). I've got it set to count my calories for steps, but to counteract that, I set it for losing a pound a week, instead of the more reasonable half-pound. I am always leery of calculating exercise calories and would prefer to err on the side of not counting anything at all so I can be sure I'm hitting my food targets, BUT if I exercise a lot I do recognize that I need to refuel. Hopefully this will be the best of both worlds, but I'll turn it off if I have to.
I'm also not 100% sure how it is going to interact with my glitchy brain, because I think my plan is to allow myself 3 "treat" meals per week, plus 3 "treat" desserts. The desserts I'll just count maybe as if I ate only one small serving, but really I'll eat a bigger serving. Truly, this is mostly to accommodate my love of Blue Bell ice cream and my belief that a half-cup is not sufficient. The 3 meals are to accommodate Tuesday evenings at my mom's, the lunch-happy culture at work, and eating out once a week. I can still try to make good choices for some or all of these meals - at my mom's, that means limiting portion sizes, and for the eating out, that may mean what I order, or I may let it go, and if I do, that is ok. What I'm not sure about, yet, is how to count these off meals. I'll have to play with it. Yesterday evening was an off meal at my mom's, but it had a bunch of things that were fairly easy to count, so I counted and guesstimated and was ok with that. And it didn't make me go over my daily target (as long as the steps were counted) and so I didn't fry a circuit with a feeling of failure. I have a feeling I'll need a little more data to figure out what method is going to work best for me.
Monday stats:
Calorie goal: 1490
Ate: 1528
Exercise: 300 from P90X3 Accelerator + 387 from 12,686 steps.
I'm not counting the steps calories, so Net: 1228
I would like to be netting 1200-1500 in these first few weeks, so I am very very pleased with that. And also hungry. But pleased.
Tuesday stats:
Calorie goal: 1490
Ate: 1948 (BUT the evening meal was a "treat" meal, which I fully counted!)
Exercise: 200 from P90X3: Triometrics + 371 from 11,754 steps
Net: 1748 without the steps
I am pleased with this net on a "treat meal" day!
One more note: A calorie goal of 1490 seems pretty generous to me. I used to aim right around 1500 for MAINTENANCE. But, I'll see how it goes for a week or two and make adjustments if nothing is happening. It would be nice if I could leave it there because it is high enough to make me feel like I actually have a little flexibility and can actually succeed.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
P.S. Anxiety
I think part of the beast of anxiety is that it is NOT RATIONAL.
I have a friend who suffers from panic attacks whenever he has to fly. I don't get it. You get there, you get on the plane, you fly. If you crash, you'll deal with it if you live. What's worrying going to accomplish? Statistics show that driving is more dangerous and you ride in cars all the time. BUT. Just because I don't get it doesn't make his fear, his anxiety any less real to him, or any less valid.
The trick, I think, is not to judge the anxiety. It comes out of, most likely, a bunch of intersecting experiences that they've had in their life, and it cannot truly be understood, maybe not even by the sufferer.
So what do you do? You don't have to buy into the fear to comfort or support or simply distract someone. If if is something that can easily be fixed, just fix the problem. If not, just be there, judgment free. Comfort, support, distract, and be the kind of person you would want someone to be to you, when you are gripped in the full throes of whatever your worst fear is.
I have a friend who suffers from panic attacks whenever he has to fly. I don't get it. You get there, you get on the plane, you fly. If you crash, you'll deal with it if you live. What's worrying going to accomplish? Statistics show that driving is more dangerous and you ride in cars all the time. BUT. Just because I don't get it doesn't make his fear, his anxiety any less real to him, or any less valid.
The trick, I think, is not to judge the anxiety. It comes out of, most likely, a bunch of intersecting experiences that they've had in their life, and it cannot truly be understood, maybe not even by the sufferer.
So what do you do? You don't have to buy into the fear to comfort or support or simply distract someone. If if is something that can easily be fixed, just fix the problem. If not, just be there, judgment free. Comfort, support, distract, and be the kind of person you would want someone to be to you, when you are gripped in the full throes of whatever your worst fear is.
Anxiety
I saw this go by on Facebook and I was really touched by #6, which says:
"I will stop putting off that phone call. I avoid a lot of things because, well, anxiety. But in doing that, I end up creating more panic than it’s worth. So when I’m able, I’ll push myself to be proactive."
Two days ago, I got in my car to go to a baby shower. I had the gift. I had the diapers. I had the directions. I was ready. But I was running about 10 minutes late. Anxiety. No, it is ok. It is ok. I will get there and everyone won't have been on time. It is totally normal. It is a fucking baby shower - moms get being late. It will be fine. Then I pull up to the GATED ENTRANCE to the community. There was no gate code on the invitation. No sign on the code box saying what to do for the party. I could have called the RSVP number but... but... I was late. I don't know the host. I was late and I'd be interrupting the party. No other cars were pulling in. I'd interrupt the party. What if I didn't know anyone other than the expecting mom? What if none of the other daycare moms went? I turned around and went home.
My husband and my mom don't understand. They asked me why and I made up a thin excuse about the gate. And truly it really was the gate that broke me, but I know as well as they do that I could have gotten in. I could have found a way around it. And I don't know how to explain to them that I just COULDN'T. I couldn't.
I've never been diagnosed with anxiety. And honestly, until I read #6 above I felt like I probably had a bit of it, but never in my life has it been so starkly clear to me that I do have anxiety. I do have it. And it is its own explanation.
I just started crying as I type this.
It is its own explanation and I shouldn't have to feel ashamed. It hurts me when I disappoint people because I can't do something. But in a way that adds to the anxiety. Not only can I not do the thing, but there is also a personal price of guilt and shame that I know is coming for me. But instead of motivating me, the fear of the judgment is another thing that freezes me. I think it is doubly hard for me because I hide my issues well. They think I am a strong, confident, capable woman, and when they see me freeze, they think that I just don't want to do the thing, or I'm being a bitch. But I'm not. I'm not. Sometimes I just... can't.
The words above are a good resolution, and something I should also strive for. But I also need to strive for self-understanding and self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.
"I will stop putting off that phone call. I avoid a lot of things because, well, anxiety. But in doing that, I end up creating more panic than it’s worth. So when I’m able, I’ll push myself to be proactive."
Two days ago, I got in my car to go to a baby shower. I had the gift. I had the diapers. I had the directions. I was ready. But I was running about 10 minutes late. Anxiety. No, it is ok. It is ok. I will get there and everyone won't have been on time. It is totally normal. It is a fucking baby shower - moms get being late. It will be fine. Then I pull up to the GATED ENTRANCE to the community. There was no gate code on the invitation. No sign on the code box saying what to do for the party. I could have called the RSVP number but... but... I was late. I don't know the host. I was late and I'd be interrupting the party. No other cars were pulling in. I'd interrupt the party. What if I didn't know anyone other than the expecting mom? What if none of the other daycare moms went? I turned around and went home.
My husband and my mom don't understand. They asked me why and I made up a thin excuse about the gate. And truly it really was the gate that broke me, but I know as well as they do that I could have gotten in. I could have found a way around it. And I don't know how to explain to them that I just COULDN'T. I couldn't.
I've never been diagnosed with anxiety. And honestly, until I read #6 above I felt like I probably had a bit of it, but never in my life has it been so starkly clear to me that I do have anxiety. I do have it. And it is its own explanation.
I just started crying as I type this.
It is its own explanation and I shouldn't have to feel ashamed. It hurts me when I disappoint people because I can't do something. But in a way that adds to the anxiety. Not only can I not do the thing, but there is also a personal price of guilt and shame that I know is coming for me. But instead of motivating me, the fear of the judgment is another thing that freezes me. I think it is doubly hard for me because I hide my issues well. They think I am a strong, confident, capable woman, and when they see me freeze, they think that I just don't want to do the thing, or I'm being a bitch. But I'm not. I'm not. Sometimes I just... can't.
The words above are a good resolution, and something I should also strive for. But I also need to strive for self-understanding and self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Next Year's Schedule
Soooo.... I didn't make it a goal to do at least one race per month, buuuuuuut...... let's just say I want to get something in in January so I don't concede the possibility from month number 1 like I did last year. ;-)
I'm thinking the Piney Woods TrailFest 5K. I did this one back when the kid was a super-shrimp. My first and only trail race, and I definitely wanted to do more. So... yeah, I think so!
I also went ahead and signed up for the CB&I Tri this year since it sells out so early. So that is in stone. The rest of everything is up in the air, but I filled in the sidebar with the frontrunners so I can help myself to remember the research I did! It is looking very 5K heavy - perhaps the goal needs to be to finally get consistent so I can get faster again!
I'm thinking the Piney Woods TrailFest 5K. I did this one back when the kid was a super-shrimp. My first and only trail race, and I definitely wanted to do more. So... yeah, I think so!
I also went ahead and signed up for the CB&I Tri this year since it sells out so early. So that is in stone. The rest of everything is up in the air, but I filled in the sidebar with the frontrunners so I can help myself to remember the research I did! It is looking very 5K heavy - perhaps the goal needs to be to finally get consistent so I can get faster again!
Friday, January 1, 2016
2016 Goals
Heh, do you think I can continue the theme and come up with 16 goals for 2016? Let's see....
16. Life: Take fabulous pictures with the awesome new camera.
I may have been slightly cheating with splitting the camping into two parts. I considered a reading goal - I read 52 books in 2015, which is a nice round number of one per week! But I read because I enjoy it, and I don't want to fall prey to selecting books for length/easiness of reading rather than just because I want to read them. So no goals there. Although maybe I should set a goal to begin doing better reviews of books, since looking back on last year I already can't remember why I rated some things the way I did!
Anyways, there they are, and I'm excited to get going! Onward!!
1. Work: make at least one presentation.
2. Work: write an article.
3. Work: get involved in "the community".
4. Workout: Train for something in a focused way.
5. Workout: Get at least one not-in-Texas race.
6. Workout: Do a triathlon.
7. Workout: Get my butt back in the pool regularly.
8. Workout: Go climbing.
9. Life: Lose 20
pounds.
10.
Life: Focus on conscientious spending. I'm going to define it better this year. What I mean is that I want to finish each month in the green. HOWEVER, I already know that that won't be possible every month, for example June when I already know P is going to miss several weeks of work, so the ultimate goal is to end the YEAR in the green.
11. Life: Improve the garden.
12. Life: Go camping in Brazos Bend State Park.
13. Life: Go camping in Huntsville State Park.
14. Life: Have an epic Disney vacation.
15. Life: Make stained glass things.16. Life: Take fabulous pictures with the awesome new camera.
I may have been slightly cheating with splitting the camping into two parts. I considered a reading goal - I read 52 books in 2015, which is a nice round number of one per week! But I read because I enjoy it, and I don't want to fall prey to selecting books for length/easiness of reading rather than just because I want to read them. So no goals there. Although maybe I should set a goal to begin doing better reviews of books, since looking back on last year I already can't remember why I rated some things the way I did!
Anyways, there they are, and I'm excited to get going! Onward!!
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