Whole 22 - still whole!

Day 5:

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Lamb Burger with cucumber and cuties

Dinner: Pork Lettuce Cups

Day 6: 

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Baked Flounder with Avacado Mango Salsa and cuties

Dinner: Whole 30 Italian Slow Cooker Roast

Day 7:

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Pork Lettuce Cups

Snack: Grapes

Dinner: The last little bit of the pork lettuce cups and a potato

Day 8: 

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Roast

Snack: Grapes

Dinner: Lamb Burger

Day 9: 

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Lamb Burger

Snack: Grapes

Pre-dinner: Sweet potato rounds

Dinner: Baked Flounder with Avacado Mango Salsa

Day 10 (plan):

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Lamb Burger

Snack: Grapes

Dinner: Nom Nom Paleo's sheet pan salmon

Notes: Still headachy on Saturday, but saw improvement Sunday and today.  Tired on Sunday, but ironically didn't sleep well Sunday night.  So super tired on Monday, but no longer sure if it is the diet or if it is the poor sleep.  I was hungry over the weekend a bit more than I usually expect with Whole 30, but I thought it was passing earlier this week, but Day 9 I was suuuuper hungry.  Still craving cookies over the weekend and early this week, but that seems to have passed now.  Discovered The Paleo Way on Netflix and am enjoying watching my way through!

“Whole 22”

I'm doing a "Whole 22" instead of a Whole 30 because I've got some stuff at the end of January that is a deal breaker.  I started on January 1 and I was SO ready to eat cleanly again!!

Day 1:

Breakfast: Beef and Veggie scramble (Myers) with an egg on top. Hereafter known as “The Usual”.

Lunch: breakfast was super late, but bedtime was normal, so it was a two meal day.

Dinner: Chicken Non-Noodle Soup (https://www.realfoodwholelife.com/blog/slow-cooker-chicken-pot-pie-gluten-free-dairy-free) and roasted potato fries 

Day 2:

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Chicken Non-Noodle Soup

Snack: Not very good grapes

Dinner: Lamb Burger with roasted potato fries

Day 3: 

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Chicken Non-Noodle Soup

Snack: Cuties

Dinner: Blue Apron Pork Lettuce Cups (https://www.blueapron.com/recipes/pork-lettuce-cups-with-cauliflower-rice-marinated-tomatoes) with roasted potato fries

Notes: I've been having headaches, really bad headaches.  It didn't strike me that it might be related to the diet until I read some ladies on my support group talking about the carb flu.  Voila!  Ok, so it sucks but at least I know it is temporary.

Day 4:

Breakfast: The Usual

Lunch: Lamb burger (Myers) with cucumber

Dinner: Either the last of the chicken non-noodle or the pork lettuce cups again.

Notes: Headache still present but I don't think it is as severe.  This morning weight was 139.4.  It is amazing how quickly I drop the bloat when I start eating cleanly!  I'm craving a cookie pretty hard right now.  I keep dreaming that I've slipped and I wake up convinced that it was real.  Very odd.

I've exercised every morning so far this year. ;-)

2019 Goals

I'm still not feeling super goal-ish.  I am in a better place than I was for most of last year, but it feels fragile.  I had some success with my more forgiving goals last year, so let's do that again.  My goals are actually very similar....

I want to continue exercising regularly.I want to continue cleaner eating.  Not strictly - I want to practice being a flexitarian and making good choices in context.I want to keep working on and managing my health and get it to a place where it isn't negatively impacting my every day life in a big way.  I may not have control over meeting this goal, but it is a real focus and deserves the mention.I want to take good care of myself mentally.I have one really nice vacation planned and I want to go and enjoy myself and take beautiful pictures and feel filled up with peace and joy.  There will probably be more vacations, and the goal is the same for all.I want to really buckle down on the money thing.  We can do better.  I need us to do better.  I'd like to see 9 months green AND the overall year green, and by more than a few dollars.
There is the potential that I'll be having a surgery this year.  If I do, I want to use down my vacation days at work on things I enjoy FIRST.  (This is important for the money thing too, because there will be bills and no salary for 2 months.) I want to be gentle with myself as I heal.  But I also want to not allow pain to completely derail all of the progress I've made.  Gentle, but then back on the train.

It does help me to note these things: 2017 starting weight was 150.  2018 starting weight was 153.  2019 starting weight is 142, and I've dipped well below that in 2018, so I think there are losses at my fingertips.  There are 3 major differences in what I'm doing. Most importantly is the thyroid meds.  Second, though, I'm eating cleanly for thyroid health (not for weight loss).  I'm not counting calories.  I'm just eating very differently with a focus on whole unprocessed foods.  And finally, I'm not sure if it is really a factor, but when I'm exercising now, I'm not going to the point of mega pain or exhaustion.  I'm not training for anything but life.  That may change in the coming year - I really do miss running - but for now, that is there and it may be a factor.

2018 in Review

Here were my 2018 "non-goal" goals:

I want to start exercising again.
I want to start eating more cleanly.
I have had some health issues... I want to get those under control.
I have had some mental health issues... I want to get those out of crisis mode.
I have two really nice vacations planned and I want to go and enjoy myself and take beautiful pictures and feel filled up with peace and joy.
I want to continue working on the money thing.  Last year was good - we need to build on that and get a little savings cushion so I quit feeling like the next hurricane might blow us out of the water. 

This is really really fascinating to me because I consider 2018 to be an absolute shitshow for me.  I truly truly feel like it was a terrible horrible no good very bad year for me in general.  Mostly because I felt so exhausted for so much of it due to the thyroid issues and the inability to get the management of that down.

With that said, looking at these goals, I did it.  I started exercising again, even pretty regularly here at the end.  I started eating more cleanly, and while I am not 100% clean 100% of the time, I really have made a strong change to my diet in an attempt to support my health.  My health issues - the jury is still out on whether or not those are under control but I'm cautiously optimistic for the first time in a year, to be honest, so I'm going to consider that an E for effort.  I have managed to stop having panic attacks when it rains (a gift of Harvey), and that was the mental health issue to which I was referring.  Now in all honesty, the extreme exhaustion caused by hypothyroidism brought on a very strong depression, and I have constant and real work that I need to continue doing for my mental health. But no rainy panic attacks = win.  My vacations were lovely.  I am very pleased with the photos I got this year, although I would like to do more shooting.  Money.... worse than last year by a bit - 7 months green, 5 red.  Overall in the red but just by a bit.  We did end up buying a new car this year - if we hadn't, we would be green.  So it is okay-ish, but I want to get to a point where these incidentals don't tank us, and we are clearly not there.

I did write a post after my goal setting post about counting each one of my successes.  Like I ate well this morning, I  exercised today, I crossed something off the to-do list.  I lost sight of that as the year went on, but I realized when I was reading back that I did embrace this philosophy unconsciously and it worked well for me.  It is healthy for me.  

So all in all?  2018 is another year I'd prefer to forget.  If 2017 was the Year of Harvey, 2018 is the Year of the Thyroid.  I am ready for 2019 in every way, and I am ready to have a good year.

Whole 30 Day 9

I am proud of myself. I survived a vendor lunch and remained in compliance! I researched my options ahead of time and determined that there were 2 dishes I could eat. I got grilled chicken and veggies. There was hummus but I learned I couldn’t eat it. It was on the side so I avoided and didn’t eat the bit of chicken that was touching it. I couldn’t be more pleased with myself. That was such a win!

I had a normal breakfast and am eating a lamb burger for dinner.

Yesterday I had normal breakfast, pork cauliflower fried rice for lunch, and pork lettuce cups for dinner with watermelon for dessert and grapes for a midday snack.

This morning and yesterday morning weight: ONE THIRTY NINE!!!!!!!

I am having one nightly wake up just after midnight and a bit of trouble falling asleep, but I think that is work stress.

I am on day 16 consecutive of exercise.

It finally got cool here yesterday!!!

Whole 30 Day 7

I am so proud of how things went this weekend. There were temptations all around but having my pre-prepared food with me made it easier to stay on track. The guys did make steak and baked potatoes last night so I did partake, with ONLY salt on my baked potato! WIN!

We did stop by Bucc-ee’s On the way home and as I was walking in I saw some granola bar looking things called Thunderbirds. They say paleo-approved on the label and lots about real food, so I looked at the ingredient list and they look to be Whole 30 compliant. I don’t want to resort to packaged food much or at all really, but I do really want something like this for my purse or my desk at work for a just in case scenario. I bought two. Will post a review when I try them!

I have some concerns about this week coming up. There is a vendor visit on Tuesday which might mean lunch. I am really not sure how to go out and remain fully compliant. Then I have Astros tickets to the NLCS on Wednesday and I do love me some Ballpark food. And finally o have a huge presentation on Friday that I’ve been preparing for for weeks - that is a stress eating trigger for me for sure. I am going to try, y’all. I’m going to try.

W30 Day 5

Days 3 And 4 went well. I am eating very boringly. But that works for me for diets like these. It is best to always have something to eat whenever I’m hungry and that means making stuff with leftovers and being boring. Luckily, I tolerate eating the same food over and over with no angst. So it has been days of Beef scramble for breakfast, Pork fried cauliflower rice for lunch, and lamb burgers  for dinner after a grape snack.

I’m still on the exercise train. Day 12 and hopefully counting.

The hopefully is because we are taking a little family trip this weekend and that often messes things up for me. I may just take my running shoes and y’all walks and count it as good. Because it is good for me and where I’m at mentally.

This time I’m experiencing almost no cravings... it is almost weird. Last time I’d have sold you zoe for a piece of bread. I’m guessing it is because since April I’ve basically been eating this way. Oh, I’ll have the occasional burger or pizza, but generally I’ve been caffeine, dairy, and gluten free since April. Not sugar free though - that is my weakness. But I’m not even really craving that. Last time I had fruit for after dinner, or sweet potatoes to cut that craving. This time I’m just... done. It is great! But not what I expected. We will see how it goes when I get hormonal, which should be soon.

I’ve got enough food to take it with me for this weekender. So I’m feeling confident and prepared. Onward!

Weight this morning was 140.2. Cooooome to meeeee magical 130’s!!!

I’m back! Whole 30 take 2

So it turned out that that the complete and utter exhaustion that I was feeling was my thyroid going wonky. I made an appointment for last week in desperation. I didn’t realize my numbers were off - I was just going to ask for a brand change to my meds (synthetic to natural) to see if that helped. But when they ran my labs leading up to the appointment they saw that my numbers were actually off and they needed to up my dosage. It is early days yet with the med change. Today is day 5.

I’ve been working out every day since Monday of last week.  Today is day 10.

I started Whole 30 Monday of this week. Today is day 3.

I had been having terrible interrupted sleep, but for the past 2 nights I’ve had good sleep. So something must be helping. I’m still waking up exhausted, but the sleep is definitely better. The meds are giving more energy but I can still feel the underlying exhaustion.

So, 2 days of whole 30. I ate my typical breakfast on Monday, followed by Blue Apron Chicken Curry, grapes on the way home, and Blue Apron Pork Lettuce Wraps (which were freaking fantastic) for dinner. Even the hubby liked the wraps. Had some cantaloupe after.

Day 2 there was drama at work so I only got through half my breakfast. I ate the other half for lunch, grapes on the way home, and lamb burgers for dinner. I was concerned that I’d be hungry due to the lack of lunch but I really wasn’t. I didn’t even eat fruit for dessert.

Today my plan is for a normal breakfast, Cauliflower Pork “fried rice” for lunch, grapes, lamb burger, and I’ve got a banana that needs eating.

Start weight was 142.8. Weight this morning was 140.2. I can already see myself losing the bloat, which absolutely fascinates me.

Off the rails

Speaking of identifying challenges: sickness is one for me. I get sick and I crave things and I don’t have the same drive for doing the right thing. I slip into the familiar, the easy.

It turns out that Saturday was the first manifestation of what has turned into a full blown sinus infection. Give me a few days to get through this, and we will start over.

I feel like maybe some day... maybe if I can make this more of a lifestyle. A lifestyle has comfort foods. But honestly a lifestyle doesn’t have cheating - it just has choices. I just wish I craved things that would be good choices in times like these.

It is progressive though, right?

W30/AIP days 4-5

Day 4: Menu was wxactly the same as Day 3, watermelon after dinner.

Day 5: Normal scramble for breakfast. Leftover Cauliflower Pork fried “rice” for lunch, Lamb burger for dinner. But... I cheated. I went to Starbucks in the early afternoon for a Serious Strawberry Frappuccino. I do no whip and substitute coconut milk, so the only cheating was the sugar, but I did cheat. I own it.

Here is what happened: we were doing a garage sale at my mother-in-law’s. I did a good job of bringing my meals so I wouldn’t cheat. I ate breakfast as normal. But then I was outside in the Texas heat for 6 hours and I think I simply didn’t drink enough. I had water but it wasn’t enough. When I went in for lunch I could only eat a bit because I didn’t feel well. But I was CRAVING this smoothie like beverage. Probably because it was cold. And sweet. Water just wasn’t doing it for me, which is rare, but I think it is because I let myself go too far. So - no beating myself up. This was a learning experience. I’ll do better next time. Water early and regularly.

W30/AIP Day 3

The scale ticked down the first bit this morning.  It is early days but of course encouraging. I do believe I can already see a difference - I think this diet de-bloats you quickly. I just look a bit leaner. I like it.

Today’s menu:
Beef Veggie Scramble with Egg on top (Myers)
Salmon over Butternut Squash with Kale Pesto (Myers-ish)
Grapes
Pork Fried Cauliflower Rice (Blue Apron: https://dlink.blueapron.com/YWrT1DaXZP)
Cantaloupe

Btw, last night’s post dinner fruit was an apple instead of watermelon.

Thoughts/challenges: I’m hungry but not starving, and I know it will pass. My colleague offered to bring me Starbucks today and I wanted it very much. I did decline. And I was moving books around within the system and I saw a book of 100 chocolate recipes and I was full on salivating. I’m coming into the craving time of the month. It will be a challenge for sure.

W30/AIP Day 2

Last night my dinner fruit was watermelon. It was hummu. I craved chocolate but did not cave.

Today’s menu is exactly the same as yesterday’s. Things should get a bit more interesting when the Blue Apron box arrives tomorrow, but fair warning - I cook for leftovers to maximize my time. I did encounter an obstacle this morning - my mother. Tonight is the night we go over to their house to eat. Last weekend I warned her that I was starting a strict diet and while we would still come to eat, I’d be bringing my own food. This morning she asked if she should do more shrimp without spice than she did last time, and I said no because I wouldn’t be partaking so Zoë can have it all. She looked super disappointed and I reminded her about the diet. She said, “Well isn’t this compliant?” I said no because she bathes the shrimp in melted butter. I asked about side dishes and she said mashed potatoes and at that point I was able to firmly tap out, but it was frustrating and difficult at the crack of dawn on day 2.

Oh, I forgot to mention yesterday: starting weight is 142 even.

Whole 30/AIP

Mega-update: shortly after my last post I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. I began medication immediately, but has taken months of fine tuning to get the dosage correct, and even with that I’m going to ask for another change at my next appointment. I had a friend warm me that as my body went through the adjustment, I would change. Boy howdy, was she right. I was not myself in a very epic way in February and March and April, in particular. She says I may never be the same but it seems the worst of the foggy apathy as mostly lifted.

One of the things I did following diagnosis was read everything I could get my hands on. I read The Thyroid Connection by Amy Myers and I decided in April to follow her diet plan, even though my hypothyroidism isn’t caused by an autoimmune issue. Her diet is basically an Auto Immune Protocol (AIP) diet. It worked. I lost 10 pounds and began feeling much better. I wanted to blog it but I couldn’t remember my password and at that time that was too much of a barrier for me - that’s how bad off I was.

Then summer happened and I ended up unsurprisingly off the diet, although I’ve kept most of the weight off and do eat differently than I did before. I knew that I wanted to go hard after summer ended, though, and the other day Blue Apron gave me the perfect excuse: they are doing Whole 30 compliant recipes during September! Whole 30 isn’t exactly AIP but they have a lot in common, most notable they are: sugar-free, gluten-free, ans lactose-free, and AIP is caffeine free. I’ve been essentially caffeine free (except for the occasional Excedrin) since April, so I will continue with that. My basic idea this month is to do AIP but substitute in some Whole 30 recipes. If any recipe is in compliance with EITHER diet, then it is acceptable for me this month.

And I’d like to blog how I’m feeling and eating.

So here we are, day 1. I plan to eat:
Breakfast: Beef and Veggie Breakfast scramble (Myers) with a Egg on top
Lunch: Salmon over Butternut Squash with Tuscan Kale Pesto (Myers)
Snack: Grapes
Dinner: Greek Lamb Burger with Coconut Tzatziki and Cucumber (Myers)
Post dinner: Fruit (not sure what kind yet)

So far I’m at lunch and I’m hungry but not starving. Frankly I love the breakfast which surprised me because I’m not usually a fan of meat in the morning. The Pesto is GOOD. Onward!

Changing Philosophies

I've been thinking a lot about this sort of amorphous "I'd like to" form of goal-setting that I'm doing this year, and I think that part of the reason that I need it to be that way is I need successes.  I need to be proud of myself and my accomplishments, and I need to be present and happy in my life.

So I think it is about focusing on successes.  Yesterday I counted my calories, I exercised, and I created the syllabus for the Spring course I'm teaching.  That is one good on the eating, one good on the moving, and one good on things that stress me out.  That is a good day.  Period.

This morning I exercised, I made a doctor's appointment, and I so far have counted my calories.  I took a moment when I got to work to appreciate the work I did last week.  I've done good things so far today.  That is good.

I'm going to take this and try to keep it up.  I think this is a good way to be in my head.

It's about the journey, right?  When I lay dying I'm not going to be so proud that I accomplished every workout session or never over ate.  I'm going to be happy that I felt good so that I could enjoy my life.  Journey before destination.  Onward!

2017 -> 2018

2017 in review - here were my goals:

1. Life: lose weight.  (Weight on 12/31 was 150.2.)  Fail.  Heavier.
2. Life: work out regularly.  Fail.
3. Life: eat "better".  Fail.
4. Work: make a presentation.  Done.
5. Work: write an article.  No.
6. Adulting: focus on conscientious spending.  (I don't think every month can be green, but how about 9 out of 12?  And the year green, definitely.)  I'm feeling meh about this but we did actually pull this off.  Barely, but 9 out of 12 were in the green and we did end the year up.  Baaaaaaarely up.  Which is why I'm meh.  But up.
7. Adulting: file things every weekend so it doesn't get out of control.  Fail.
8. Fun: improve the garden again!  Fail.
9. Fun: go on vacation to... somewhere.  Total mega epic fail.  (F you, Hurricane Harvey.)
10. Fun: take photos!  Meh, a little.
11. Fun: stained glass (damnit).  Nope.
12: Fun: camping weekends.  At least 2.  Yes, actually!
13. Fun: read stuff. ;-)  Epic yes.  Lots and lots of the reading.
14. Fun: complete Texas 6-Pack brew run series.  No... I think I did 3 of them?

Here's the thing about 2017: it sucked.  It totally sucked.  It epically sucked.  Sucked big time.  There was a ton of work stuff.  There was some life stuff.  There was Hurricane asshole Harvey.  There was depression, weight gain, general malaise.  It was just a really bad year all the way around.

There were some good things.  I took some pretty pictures.  I had some good days.  I have a wonderful kid.  We did some fun little mini-trips.  I am trying to find those lights in the darkness, but the truth is I'll probably remember this year as a year I'd rather not remember.

So, moving on, what do I want out of 2018?

Is difficult for me to even bend my thoughts into something that looks like goals... so how about just what I want to do.  These aren't goals.  These are just things I want to do.
I want to start exercising again.
I want to start eating more cleanly.
I have had some health issues... I want to get those under control.
I have had some mental health issues... I want to get those out of crisis mode.
I have two really nice vacations planned and I want to go and enjoy myself and take beautiful pictures and feel filled up with peace and joy.
I want to continue working on the money thing.  Last year was good - we need to build on that and get a little savings cushion so I quit feeling like the next hurricane might blow us out of the water.

Essentially, I want 2018 to be the year in which I become healthier and happier - mentally and physically.  Things aren't ever going to be perfect, but I'd like to get back to a place where I'm a little more capable of rolling with the punches.  I am ready.  I am willing to put in the work.  I know it will be hard, but I'm tired of this place that I'm in.  So I'm bringing it in 2018.  Let's do this thing.

And so it goes

So far so good, maybe?

I have done a great job with controlling my eating so far this month.  There was only one day where I wasn't being super strict, and on that day I had a baby shower, and even there I ate fruit and veggies first and tried to control my intake.  A cupcake was my only true slip, and I keep reminding myself that I never said I'd be perfect and I have to allow myself little indulgences so I don't fall off the wagon and go full binge.

My strategy is a controlled breakfast (300)/snack (100)/lunch (400) at work, and then I went through all of our favorite Blue Apron meals looking for ones under 600 calories that we could do for dinner.  I preferred the ones that are also low-ish in carbs.  Dessert after dinner has been fruit - clementines and strawberries.

I have done a decent job of working out every day... until I got sick two days ago I had only missed one day (not surprisingly, the baby shower day, and that was really because it was 18 degrees outside that morning which made me reneg on my walk) this whole month.  I was all the way down for the count yesterday and today though - really truly about to go to the doctor sick.  So... a B on that so far?

I am pretty solidly down 2 pounds, I think.  I am actually lower than that right now, but it may be due to sickness so I don't want to count it as a real loss yet.  I am really worried about my upcoming work trip.  I've been able to secure invites to lots of free food, but that reeks of lack of control to me, yeesh.  It would be a shame to blow it all up so quickly.  (But if I do, I'll get back on the freaking wagon when I get home and we will do this all again.  Dangit.)  My hope right now is that my lack of eating during this sickness will result in an inability to super overeat while I'm at conference, thus mitigating the damage.  Or something.  I did also buy little to go packs of peanut butter thinking that maybe I can snag bread and jelly at my hotel's breakfast so I can make a lunch, again, mitigating the damage primarily to dinner.

I signed up for this mama site that has 15 minute workouts daily, hoping that that will be short enough that I'll even do it on my trip.  I haven't tried it yet because of all the sickness.  Hopefully this weekend I'll start feeling better and be able to give it a true try.  If I like it I'll post the link.

So yeah, on the wagon and feeling pretty good about my progress til I got sick.  I have a doc apt in about an hour, so hopefully I'll be good as new and following up shortly!

2017 Goals

I'm not feeling as... regimented this year.  BUT I am wanting to make some changes (as per usual), so here's what I've got.

1. Life: lose weight.  (Weight on 12/31 was 150.2.)
2. Life: work out regularly.
3. Life: eat "better".
4. Work: make a presentation.
5. Work: write an article.
6. Adulting: focus on conscientious spending.  (I don't think every month can be green, but how about 9 out of 12?  And the year green, definitely.)
7. Adulting: file things every weekend so it doesn't get out of control.
8. Fun: improve the garden again!
9. Fun: go on vacation to... somewhere.
10. Fun: take photos!
11. Fun: stained glass (damnit).
12: Fun: camping weekends.  At least 2.
13. Fun: read stuff. ;-)
14. Fun: complete Texas 6-Pack brew run series.

Despite the fact that I'm not feeling regimented, I am planning a hard hit on my bad habits in January as per usual.  Goal is to count the calories, drink lots of water, and exercise daily.  I am already planning a known exception when I attend conference, but other than that, no quarter to the laziness or cravings!  I've also made an agreement with the hubs to curb the spending drastically (even though January is always a red month because of property taxes).

Well, how'd I do?

Goals for this year were:

1. Work: make at least one presentation. DONE.

2. Work: write an article.  DONE.

3. Work: get involved in "the community".  Nope.

4. Workout: Train for something in a focused way. 

5. Workout: Get at least one not-in-Texas race. Nope.

6. Workout: Do a triathlon. Yes!

7. Workout: Get my butt back in the pool regularly. Yes for a while, then no again.

8. Workout: Go climbing.  Fail.

9.  Life: Lose 20 pounds.  Net loss was 2 lbs.  To my credit, for much of the year I was about 10 down.  It just never sticks over the holidays.  Net loss is net loss.  I should take that and run.

10. Life: Focus on conscientious spending.  I'm going to define it better this year.  What I mean is that I want to finish each month in the green.  HOWEVER, I already know that that won't be possible every month, for example June when I already know P is going to miss several weeks of work, so the ultimate goal is to end the YEAR in the green.  No.  Actually super no on the year in the green.  But, BUT, 6 months were green and we've been almost entirely green since I changed jobs.  So it is looking up, most definitely!

11. Life: Improve the garden.  Yes!

12. Life: Go camping in Brazos Bend State Park.  No.

13. Life: Go camping in Huntsville State Park.  No here too, but we did do Stephen F. Austin SP and Choke Canyon SP.  So I'm calling these two a win.

14. Life: Have an epic Disney vacation.  YES!

15. Life: Make stained glass things.  No, but it is still on my list.
16. Life: Take fabulous pictures with the awesome new camera.  Super yes!  Got some shots I was truly pleased with and stuck with it all year.

Goodreads has me down for 34 books this year, but I've read waaaaaaay more than that.  Not sure how much since I don't track my "fluff" reading there, but a lot more.

9 out of 16.  I'll take it. ;-)

Happy Birthday, Kid

Sometimes I feel like the mom should get something for the kid's birthday.  Today is the day 6 years ago when my body got destroyed, my life got busy, and my heart changed forever.  Shouldn't I get a present for that? ;-)


Aside from all of that, happy birthday to the Z!  6 years old, wow.  She had her doctor's appointment (and flu shot, yeesh) last week and she was officially 48 3/4" tall, which was 95th percentile (only 55th for weight, string bean off the old vine).  I was actually shocked that it wasn't 100th percentile.  Shows what I know.  Strangers continue to believe that she is at least 8 based on her height.  Being very verbal only cements their shock when they find out how old she really is.


She wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up.  Or an Olympic gymnast because of "all the money".  She is a fabulous reader, and we've seen another breakthrough in that realm in the past few weeks.  It isn't exactly that she can do it better, more like she is less reluctant to do it... instead of asking us to do it for her (which always met with a do it yourself response anyways, nicely though), she just does it herself.  It is awesome!


To me, in the last little bit, too, she seems a bit more flexible.  Hard to describe why - just that she is more willing to sit somewhere with a doll and use her imagination.  I guess it takes a bit less work to be with her, and you can see her continuing to grow into her own person in that way.


She loves Kindergarten.  She has adjusted completely seamlessly.  No tears, making friends, no struggle with the work (although none was expected).  She goes to swim class once a week and loves that too.


She wakes up happy every morning, and goes to bed grumpy, ha!  She loves her kitty brother with an obsessive air.  She is a level 18 Mystic, with only a bit of assistance from her parentals.  She is fascinated by the world around her and asks a million questions, though she can't always be bothered to listen to the answers.


She had a birthday party at the rock climbing gym last Saturday, with friends from her old school and her new, and it was a great time for all.


She is the freshness that reminds me to take life less seriously.  Here's to age 6!

On Accelerating a Child

My kid just barely missed the cut-off to start kindergarten last year.  She has been attending a Montessori daycare and by all accounts, she is rather advanced, academically.

Knowing all that, I struggled with the idea of pursing advancing her a grade.  I read, I researched, I tried hard to take my motherly "my child is special" out of the equation.  More than anything I want what is right for her, whatever that is.

So when we went to Kindergarten round-up at her school for next year, I spoke with the councilor, attending 2 follow-up meetings in which we decided to test Z and see.

The first test was yesterday.  They give you like ZERO information.  So we didn't know how to prepare the kid.  Not academically, but just what to expect.  Worksheets?  Scantron?  Verbal?  At the kindergarten level, what can you possibly imagine?  It was so frustrating.  Then we go to drop her off and there isn't even a waiting room.  They wanted us to leave and they'd call us when it is over.  Again, that is the kind of thing it is nice to know ahead of time to mentally prepare the kid for.  INFORMATION, PEOPLE.

If she passed this test (language) with an 80, then she'd go back for a math test and do it all again.  If she passed that test with an 80, she'd go to 1st grade.  Otherwise, kindergarten.  With all the lack of knowing, I really beat myself up yesterday wondering if I was traumitizing her just by testing her.  Hoping I hadn't made a mistake.  Am I pushing too hard?

After all that, she came out and said it was totally easy, no big deal (except for how long it was - it took her 2.5 hours and she keeps saying it was FIFTY PAGES), etc.  I was in awe of how simple it was to her, and wishing I could get some of that back!

Then yesterday afternoon I get an email that she got a 66.  My stomach fell and I was just so disappointed.  And I reallytrying to examine why I felt this.  Do I have something attached to her skipping?  Because she won't care.  But I had that feeling in my gut like I did back when I was in school and got a bad grade.  But I am not disappointed in her.  I just want whatever is best.  But I am surprised.  I really thought... I mean that is why we went through all this.  I don't know what to think or feel.

Then, THEN they RECALLED THE EMAIL.  Wtf, y'all!!!????  Did they recall it because of a scoring error?  Or just some other procedural bullshit?  ARG.

It is ok either way.  I know it is ok either way.  There are challenges and benefits either way.  Ultimately we have very little control over this process or its outcome and I need to let it go.  It is ok.