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Running this Week

2012-02-15T12:23:00.000-06:00

(And last week.) Has been a bit of a bust, until this morning. I ran again, whee!

Interesting run this morning. We're still adjusting to our new routines, so I didn't feel like I could venture too far afield. So I ran my little loop course, each loop is just under a mile. It was kind of a drag this morning: out is very gently downhill, and the wind was at my back (read: it was hot), and back is slightly uphill, with a strong headwind (read: hard). Ha. Would have been a good morning to take my other usual route, which would have had the wind at my side for most of the morning.

Benchmark: 3 loops = 27:10

The last half of the last loop I had a sudden realization that I was running in a "marathon slog" style. My feet were barely coming off the ground. And I was slow, slooooooow, slow. So I made a conscious effort to look more like a "runner". And wouldn't you know that I dropped over a minute in pace, just from thinking about how my legs were working and getting a little uncomfortable with it. Lesson learned. I can run 3 miles. When I finish 3 miles I feel like I can go farther. Now it is time to run it better, faster, stronger. I need to focus on that.

Entries I've Wanted to Write In the Last Week

2012-02-15T06:31:00.000-06:00

Quote of the Day: "Why would I want all that dreck in my database?"

You'd think that when you walk into a women's restroom and the toilet seat up, it means that it has been recently cleaned and therefore there will be toilet paper. You obviously don't work at my place of work. (And I was in the bathroom where I couldn't just reach under the stall and grab some from next door (because they hung the holders so damn low)). Because I take my morning poop in that bathroom that isn't as heavily used. That's right. My morning poop. Enjoy. I know I did.

P is changing to a new job site. This is cool because it will allow me to work my preferred schedule for the next few weeks. This is not cool because he always gets nervous with routine changes and he's been a nightmare to be around since he found out. His nervous rubs off on me and so I spent all weekend having Big Cooking Days, because that's what I do when I panic: feed people. We cooked steak, mushrooms, garlicky cream corn with peas, yogurt fish, stew, Italian cream chicken, channa, and Healthy Mama BBQ chicken. And oreo truffles for Valentine's Day. Oh yes, we did. I have enough leftovers to feed us all for a week. At least.

I am exhausted. Z hasn't slept through the night much lately. We don't know what is wrong. But I feel more exhausted than I think I should... I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about taking a vitamin. Maybe I'm iron deficient? I feel like I'm grasping at straws. But it is making me short tempered, and with that and P's new job site, well, we're fun to be around right now. Oh, and Z isn't sleeping through the night on a week when I'm going to be working 40+ hours. Of course.

12 in 2012 updates: Book #5 read.

Happy V-day from my heart!

In Case I'm Not Here Tomorrow

2012-02-05T08:15:00.000-06:00

My Dear Baby Zoë,

There is so many serious medical issues going on in your Daddy's family. Aunt Dollie, Mawmaw, and now Papa. Daddy and I aren't expecting to have anything go wrong, but after seeing Aunt Dollie worried about her will, and Nana not knowing a lot of stuff that would leave her in a bind if Papa died... well.... Daddy and I are going to get ourselves to a lawyer and get a will.

A will for us isn't really complicated. Each of us gets everything, or if we both die, you get everything. It isn't rocket science for a little family like ours. The biggest decision is really who would take care of you if you lost us both. We have a lot of good people in our life, so the problem isn't that no one is there, it is simply figuring out who would raise you like we would, or like we would want.

And that led me to this letter. Baby girl, if I'm not here tomorrow, here is what I've learned.

I want you to play in the mud. And enjoy it.

I want you to take classes in things that interest you. Keep them up if you love them, or move on if you don't. But explore the world. I took classes in ballet, tap, gymnastics, piano, and voice, and violin.

Which leads me nicely to: play an instrument. Any one you want. And if you hate it, try another. Being in band was one of the best, most fun things I ever did. It was also one of the more difficult: from band I learned how to practice hard over a long period of time - how to work towards something.

I regret that I didn't do a sport. I wish I had, and so I hope that you do. I think playing on a team would teach similar lessons as band did, but in a different way. I also think it would set you up for a lifetime of healthy living.

I want you to eat whatever you want. But in reasonable, moderate portions. If you are like me, you'll be able to eat whatever you want until you are in your mid-20's. Enjoy that! Then after that, be reasonable, be moderate, and be healthy. I don't want you to fight to be a stick-figure, but obesity leads to many challenges that I also don't want for you. I want you to live a long and healthy life.

I want you to be given your first car, but I want it to be inexpensive (but reliable) and used. And I want you to drive it all the way through college. Then once you have your first job, if you want a newer better car, you can buy it yourself with your own money. There are a few reasons for this: most teenagers get into wrecks. I know you have probably grown up to be a very responsible teenager, but bad things can also happen to good people, and your lack of experience dictates a less valuable car. Plus, the insurance cost on a newer, nicer, more expensive car would be insane. I want to buy you a car and insure it for you. But I need to be able to afford it.

I want you to go to college. I want you to have fun there, but also work hard and get good grades. There is time enough for both things. Get a degree in something you love and are passionate about. If that something isn't the most lucrative... also get a back-up degree in something that makes you easily employable in a field that earns decent money. Get both degrees NOW, the first time you're in college, and trust me that this is a good idea. It will be much more difficult to go back to college later.

When you buy your first house, you want your monthly mortgage payments to be less than 25% of your monthly take home pay. If you walk into an older house and see how beautiful it *could be*, then you are going to spend A LOT of money on that house. Plan accordingly.

Marry only one person. And don't have a child until you are with that person. In fact, don't have a child until you have been married to that person for a few years. Your Gaga's rule for me was no babies until I was 30. I broke her rule a bit: I married your Daddy when I was 26, and had you when I was 29, but close enough. Your Gaga wasn't saying this because she didn't want grandbabies. In fact, she desperately wanted grandbabies. But she wanted me to be in a good place in my life for you. And I was. I want that for you too.

I want you to take vacations. Travel. See the world.

I want you to have the freedom to choose your religion. Or lack thereof. Don't follow the crowd on this one. Religion is an intensely personal choice. Only you know what you need to believe in your heart to make this world a better place for you. Believe that.

Your name, Zoë, means life. Your father and I chose it for you because we believe that life is the most sacred thing. It isn't to be wasted. Live every day to the fullest.

I love you with all my heart. I always will. And if you are reading this because I'm gone, then I'm sure my last thought was for you. I love you.
Mama

US Olympic Marathon Trials Spectator Report

2012-02-03T14:10:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry I'm late with this.

We got up at the crack of dawn to head down to downtown Houston, aiming at being about 30 minutes early before the Trials started. We were even earlier than that. Parking wasn't too difficult, yet, but expensive!

I had decided the night before that we should try to watch from near the convention center where the racers would pass us 4 times each without us having to move (which would be difficult with the baby). We walked immediately to near the start line, but I was really wanting to be closer to the finish so that we could see how the race was shaking out. I didn't know if we'd be able to cross the course once it started, so we took the chance and gave up a really good spot to cross Discovery Green and get on the finishing stretch. We got lucky! We ended up in a great spot, just after mile 26 but before they made the final left turn to the finish line, under a lovely tree, and on the side of the road where the runners would be taking the "shortest line". We could see a side-angle of the big viewing screen that was set up for the bleachers, so we should be able to keep an idea of where the runners were and their pace so that we didn't miss a pass-by. We were also in the park, so it was great for the baby wrangling that we knew might occur. It was ideal!

Fairly shortly after we arrived, we saw the men run by on their way to the starting line. We could hear the announcer, and the gun being fired. Then we just had to wait 10 or so minutes until they passed by us the first time, which was *so* exciting! I could feel my heart racing immediately, and the baby was obviously in love with spectating, since she kept asking (and signing) for more! She was in luck, because pretty shortly the women started, and then we literally had a "sighting" every 20-30 minutes after that! My ex-work buddy J showed up and helped us wrangle, and Preston's ex-work "daddy" J showed up and kept him company for a bit, too. "Daddy" J was running his first half the next day, which he finished in 2:08ish, way to go J!

Men, first pass.

And then it is a story of sighting.

Women, first pass.

After sighting.

Men, second pass.

After sighting.

Women, second pass.

After sighting.

"Hi running!" (Men, third pass.)

After sighting.

Women, third pass.

When it finally came down to the end, we were right where Meb ran by with the flag, just before he saluted the soldiers lining the route. It was so cool.

This was also where Ritz put on his surge. I don't have a photo because I was screaming my head off. I swear, I felt him surge. I could see it. I could feel that he was probably a little too far out but that he had a chance. It was incredibly exciting. And heartbreaking.

Some of the soldiers would applaud as runners ran by... I found that... just... really powerful.

Then the women came around for the last time, Shalane leading. Then Desi. Then Kara.

I love that Kara looks like she's hurting in this photo. You know, she had her kid just a few weeks before I did. Somehow, I feel validated that she looked like she was struggling. But I also feel inspired that she was able to make it to the Olympics.

The Kid was asleep before we even made it back to the car.

Good day.

Quiet Run

2012-02-02T07:52:00.000-06:00

This morning when I stepped out of my door it was dead quiet. Like I stepped into a soundproof room quiet. Post-Ike quiet. I actually stopped and just stood there because it was eerily quiet. No AC units (yes, AC in February), no wind in the trees, no dogs barking, no airplanes flying, no cars driving by. Really really quiet.

I started running and the only sound was my footfalls and the occasional drop of water because it was so humid/foggy this morning that drops of water were spontaneously forming in the air and falling like a gentle rain.

I ran for about 5 minutes in silence, then I ran past a house with its AC on. And a bird started tweeting. The newspaper delivery lady drove by, a dog started barking, a quick breeze blew through, and the world started turning again.

But what a strange bubble I stepped into this morning.

P.S. 3 run week, bitches, oh yeah!! And enough days left in the week that it could potentially even be a 4 run week. (But I'm not committing to that. (Because whenever I commit to something like that in writing, I fail. (And failing sucks.)))

P.P.S. Does my "run" last night with Zoë count as a run? It was only to the end of the block and back, and I was all up on my toes and practically running in place so she could keep up with/beat me, but it was by far the best run I've had all week! She is so cute when she runs. She ducks her head down and charges forward, high stepping it, squealing and laughing the whole way. That's how running should be!

Goal Review

2012-02-01T07:53:00.000-06:00

I'm still going to do my monthly goal reviews, to keep me honest!

Goals for the Year:
Lose 12 pounds in 2012. Weight on 1/1 was 138.8. Weight this morning was 132.6. That is AWESOME progress.
Read at least 12 books (other than to my child) in 2012. 4 books read (and enjoyed) in January. Also great progress! I have a bit of mommy-guilt when I read and enjoy it, but stopping pumping at work has really helped because I now read on most breaks and all lunches. I've only really taken time to read at home on Fridays, which I can't/shouldn't always do, but if I do it once a month, I'm (trying to) giving myself permission to not feel guilty about doing something for me.
Race 12 times in 2012. No races this year yet. DNS at the EP5K due to baby sickness. Considered several other races, but due to various family issues, never registered for any of them. Am vaguely considering registering for the Buffalo Wallow Cross Country 6K in February. Next race that I'm actually registered for is 3/3 - the Woodlands Fun Run 5K. I've got 2 other strong potentials for March, so I'm not panicked about not racing in January or potentially February.
And I have one other secret 12 goal. 2 accomplished towards the 12. Yay, me!

Eating Goals for January:
Don't eat out: as I talked about earlier, that didn't work out for me, but I'm still pleased with my total 5 times eating out in January, considering the hardship of having AD in the hospital.
Don't cook anything massively incompatible with my goals: done.
I didn't track calories all month (and I hadn't made it a goal), but the few weeks I did track did me lots of good. I feel quite aware of what I'm eating, and that is a very good thing. I need to start tracking again if I feel myself slipping.

That's it - a very successful month for me!

Goals for February:
Continued progress towards 2012 goals.
Keep eating out to a minimum - maximum once a week.
And this is an unusual category for me, but I've been wanting to get our finances in order for a long time. Goals for this month are: rollover my IRA, start an IRA for Preston, start a 529 for Zoe, get Preston into direct deposit, get Preston's dues to start automagically deducting, and get the last automatic payment to stop coming out of the credit card account that I want to stop using. That's a lot, but just one or two of these a week will get it done, and none of these is difficult. We just have an inertia issue, I think. The current book I'm reading is Saving for Retirement without Living like a Pauper or Winning the Lottery by Gail Marks Jarvis. :-)

I got quoted!!

2012-01-31T08:29:00.000-06:00

I didn't make the book, but I did make the blog!

(You can see my hook in my 9 week belly pic.)

Benchmark

2012-01-30T08:21:00.001-06:00

Last night I ran to my parents' and back with Z in the stroller to check their mail and pick some stuff up. I ran with the Garmin (my old friend, how I've missed you!) and discovered that their house is .85 miles from mine. Door to door. It took me 9:19 minutes to get there. So there's my benchmark: may it NEVER take that long again.

It took me 9:09 minutes to get home. But I had to really push the last 4 blocks or so to make that happen!

(What is that - 10:20ish a mile? With a stroller, that's not too bad! I was really feeling it, though.)

Other miscellanea:
#2 on the super-secret 12in2012 goal accomplished.
#4 for books read for 12in2012. The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson was a great read!
Dear Zoë, please start sleeping through the night again. Mama needs her sleep, even if you don't.
Had a very big cooking day yesterday: corncakes (these taste like cornbread and freeze well and work great for the baby), pudding, quinoa, maple salmon, and Preston did garlicky cream corn, garlic mashed potatoes, mushrooms, and steak. We've got a ton of leftovers in the fridge! And only 2 meals left to cook this work week: spaghetti squash (which is easy and also popular with the Z), and frozen pizza on Thursday! Annnnd I managed to stock 5 yogurts, 3 lunches, and 1 breakfast for the Z's week in daycare, which will make evenings easier as well.
Also: lmao.

My Kid is a Genius

2012-01-27T19:51:00.001-06:00

We went for a walk after dinner, and the Z looked up at the crescent moon, pointed at it, and said, "Moon!". We were floored! Then she said, "Up high." Holy shit, this Kid is a freaking genius.

Quote of the Day

2012-01-26T08:35:00.002-06:00

“We can’t instill a love of running in our children, but by going out every day and running, we can show them why we love it so much.” --Joan Benoit Samuelson

The Plan for this Week

2012-01-24T16:08:00.000-06:00

(Maybe if I type it, it'll come true.)

Monday: Run (Check.)
Tuesday: Tae Bo Cardio Circuit 1 (Check.)
Wednesday: Run
Thursday: 30 Day Shred
Friday: Run (Maybe run to the gym, lift, run home? In the early afternoon?)
Saturday: Maybe the Piney Woods Trail Run? Or maybe off.
Sunday: Probably off.

2 down, several to go.

12 in 2012: Books 2 and 3 = DONE

2012-01-23T12:51:00.000-06:00

On Friday I finished Dragon's Fire by Anne McCaffrey. I've read almost all of her Pern novels, and I love the series, but this one had gotten past me somehow. Even better, I found it on my library's Overdrive offerings, so I was able to check it out for 2 weeks for free. I was a little stressed about having to get through it in 2 weeks, but I got through most of it in breaks and on lunches (ok, and one afternoon because my Mom was in town and offered to take the baby until dinnertime), and I was so absorbed in it by Thursday evening that I knew I was going to "waste" time on Friday reading. And I did. And it was glorious!

Then when I was cataloging at work the other day, I ran across a YA novel that caught my attention. I actually love to read YA novels. They are great "beach" reads for me - usually 2-4 hours and done, nothing too mentally taxing, just good (good old day) stories. So Catching Jordan by Miranda Kenneally became #3. It was.... meh... but what a great way to waste a Friday!

Other updates:

Aunt Dollie moved into a skilled nursing facility on Saturday. 6 days after we thought she was dying. The doctor even told her before she left the hospital that he was shocked that she lived. Seriously. The woman must be part cat. Or Energizer Bunny. Or something.

I'm over the worst of my sickness. I've been feeling better since Saturday.

I ran this morning. It was a really great run. About 55 degrees, and I just went out the door, ran for 2.75 miles, and back home. I pushed from the halfway point on, and I really pushed the last few minutes. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not pushing enough. I will work to remedy that.

P and Z and I got family pictures taken on Saturday. I'm so happy that we finally did it, and I'll probably regret not doing it earlier forever. But at least we finally did it. I think they came out really well, and am already plotting doing it again with Gaga and Papi, perhaps for Gaga's birthday, which nicely coincides with Z's 18 month birthday.

I have not managed to avoid eating out this month. I think I've broken down 3 times so far, once when we were out and there was nothing at home and we were all starving, we got PF Chang's take-out, and I got something I knew was relatively healthy/low calorie, once when Aunt Dollie had her heart attack - hospital food, not healthy at all, but what was I going to do?, and once last weekend after we went to see Aunt Dollie, we went to Panda Garden, which has the BEST fried rice EVAR (and is the only Chinese place other than PF Chang's that I know of that doesn't use MSG) and it was sooooooo good and I don't feel guilty at all. :-)

Weight this morning: 133.8. 5 pounds down so far this month! (And it got as low as 132.0 when I was sick and before I ate Panda Garden nomminess.)

Annnnnd Obstacles Abound

2012-01-18T12:48:00.000-06:00

First off, the good: Saturday we spectated the US Olympic Marathon Trials, and it was THE AWESOME. I have plans to write a spectator report. (But I also have plans to write up a Christmas recap, so.... we'll see.) But it was THE AWESOME.

Then Sunday we set the alarm early to get up and get me to the EP5K. I went upstairs to wake the Z, and the child was FLAMING HOT. Serious fever. So I didn't run. I probably could have gone by myself, but I had planned on getting dropped off and not worrying about parking. So I was already running late at that point. And I definitely wasn't taking Z out of the house in the cold with a fever. And I really didn't much want to leave her, either. And so Mama had her first DNS casuality to the baby. Something tells me it won't be the last. But I was really disappointed and kind of down about it all morning.

I took the baby up to pat her down for her nap around 11. While I was patting her, I kept imagining that I heard Preston's voice, odd, because neither of us ever really talks on the phone, and there was no one else in the house. Also odd because there was a ton of white noise in the house: clothes washing and drying, pressure cooker, dishwasher, hood vent. When I finally got Z to sleep, I went downstairs to the news that Aunt Dollie had had a heart attack.

We actually jumped into action rather slowly. At first P misunderstood and thought that it had happened the night before. And she was awake, so it wasn't quite as alarming. Pretty soon, though, the caregiver called back and told him that he needed to get to the hospital asap. I knew we couldn't take the Z, so I sent him along, finished the cooking, and then took her to her grandparents' house so I could go to the hospital.

It was dark times. P called me while I was driving. Aunt Dollie is a DNR and they were wanting to intubate. I got to his dad's and basically threw the baby at them and ran back to the car. I was at least 45 minutes from the hospital, and all I could think of was that he needed my support.

When I got there... well... I just didn't see how she was going to make it. You know what a normal heartbeat looks like? Hers was unrecognizably in A-fib. It looked more like a TDF elevation profile than a heartbeat. And her breathing. She was struggling so much to breathe. Every breath expanded her chest and her neck... it looked like she was using every muscle she had just to get air. And her heartrate was hovering around 120. She's 90 years old. A heart that old just can't sustain a workload like that for very long.

I won't go into the minutia of the rest of that day.

The shocking thing was the next day: I went to see her and she looked *better*. Quite a bit better. Not struggling to breathe. Much. Heartbeat looked more like a heartbeat. Which is always comforting. She even ate a few bites of food.

She wasn't and isn't out of the woods yet. Her heart is still in an irregular rhythm. That puts her at risk for blood clots and other nasty issues. But yesterday she sat up. And today they are talking about moving her into a real room. Some day soon I'm going to write a post about how amazingly strong this woman is. 90 years old. Has survived cancer, a broken-hip fall, 2 major abdominal surgeries at 87 and 88, and now a major heart attack. She's a true tough Texas woman. No doubt.

Then in the midst of all this, I came up sick yesterday. I'm not running, and I obviously can't expose Aunt Dollie to my evil germs, so I'm back out of things for a bit. What a wild ride we're on. Seriously.

12 in 2012: Book 1 Down!

2012-01-13T10:09:00.000-06:00

Completed Infinity Blade: Awakening by Brandon Sanderson this week. On my Christmas Kindle, which I love, love, love!!

The novel was good. I like Sanderson's writing. I discovered him when he took over Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. I read his stuff to make sure I "approved" of them selecting him to complete the series that I loved so much (like I had a say, ha!), and I like him well enough that I've now read everything he's written except the two newest, which I just bought for my Kindle, so soon EVERYTHING he's written.

This was just a fun, short little novel based on a game. Interesting enough that I'm curious about the game now. And that I wish he could have carried the story further (but I'm guessing that's what the game does). Fun read. Beach-type read, for me, but I wanted to start off with fun stuff. If only 12+ books a year is your goal, it either needs to be really fun, really interesting, or really useful stuff!

Moving on now to an Anne McCaffrey Pern novel that I somehow haven't read before. Checked it out (on my Kindle) from the library, boo yah!

Runners Run

2012-01-12T08:14:00.000-06:00

That's a line from Monique Rubin's Why I Run essay over at Another Mother Runner.

And it spoke to me.

Monday morning I ran because I was in a full panic over the 5K that I have coming up on Sunday. You know, because I haven't run since THANKSGIVING.

This morning I ran because I'm a runner. And runners run. Damnit.

No excuses that it was chilly. That there was a warm kitty on me that made me get up late. That I didn't have enough time. I got out there and did what I had time for. And was glad: there was the most interesting thing going on this morning. A front was blowing in. I'd hear what sounded like rain, far off, like it was coming towards me quickly. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. The sound would rush towards me, and as it got closer, I'd realize it was leaves, then the trees around me would begin bending violently in the wind, leaves rattling, and a huge gust of cold wind would hit me. The gust would be followed by a few seconds of a steady blow, then some little stirring multi-directional gusts, then nothing until I heard the distant rain sound in the trees. And it repeated over and over this morning. It was cold, but really kind of lovely.

The 5K on Sunday will make this my first 3 run week in a long time. :-) And that makes me feel like a runner. And that is a very good thing.

2012 Race Plans

2012-01-09T16:18:00.000-06:00

Gotta get going for 12 in 2012!

Feeling pretty good about:
1/14 - EP5K
3/3 - Woodlands 5K Fun Run. Because why not?
3/17 - Warrior Dash. Because they have medals. And beer.
3/31 - Bellaire Trolley Run 5K
11/22 - Turkey Trot 8 miler

Potentials:

1/28 - Piney Woods 5K Trail Run
2/18 - Buffalo Wallow Cross Country 6K
3/10 - Bayou City Classic 10K
3/24 - Eikenburg Law Week 8K
4/18 - LP Run - 33 1/3 minutes
6 - Dad's Day 5K?

7/4 - something

Lol, this is 12, but I'd guarantee that I don't make all 12 of these. And that *isn't* my goal. I'm just musing at this point. Except about the EP5K and the Woodlands Fun Run, because I'm already signed up for those!

16 Months

2012-01-06T07:51:00.003-06:00

I'm interrupting the mommy-focus of this blog because my shrimpie is turning 16 months old today. 16 months. (Wait, is she 16 months? Or is she only 15 months? Why when I'm counting it on my fingers is it only 15 months? Did I really somewhere add a month?? HOLY CRAP, if she is only 15 months, she is UBER-advanced.)

Restarting: I'm interrupting the mommy-focus of this blog because my shrimpie is aging up a month today. Not sure what month, but she definitely got older. Today.

I think she is 15 months old.

We counted her words last weekend, and she had 114. Words. At 15 months. At 12 months she had 15. At 13 months she had maybe 20. At 14 months she had 40ish. And then she had some kind of mental breakthrough. This morning I said, "Here's your medicine!" And she said, "Med-i-cin". And she knew what it meant because she got excited (because it is yummy, and mommy doesn't allow sugar except in medicine). And the other night she pointed at the dinosaurs on her sleeper (not gender-stereotyping this squishy!) and said, "di-nu-suh". For reals. Also, the words that she has known for a while are suddenly becoming MUCH clearer. Like milk. The other day she went down for a nap, and milk was pronounced "muh!" and when she woke up, it was pronounced "mi-L-K". Slowly, with an emphasis on the "lk". And "mo-mee" turned into a very clear "monkey" overnight last week. It is crazy! Crazy, I tell you.

Her favorite book, well, there are several, but this is a nice segue, is "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See" by Eric Carle. For those of you who don't know, it basically repeats that phrase with "I see a ___ ___ looking at me." Over and over. Last week, she was repeating "See" and "At me" at appropriate points in the formula. This week sounds like this: "Bru bea, Bru bea......SEE! Iiiiiiii.... seeeeeee....a...... AT ME!" All that she is missing is "what do you" and the name of the thing being seen + "looking". It is INSANE. She asks for that one to be read over and over by signing "again" and saying "Agi, agi!". Another book that she's loving is "Baby Beluga" by Raffi. Let me tell you the back story on this one. I listened to Raffi when I was a kid, and loved him. When I had the baby, I knew I wanted her to have those songs, and I've been singing a lot of them to her. The other day we wandered into the used book store, a and what do I find but that Raffi has made a book to go with the song. I was *so* excited. It is also pretty neat because it has a lot of sea creatures that she hasn't seen before for her to learn the names of . Anyways, she calles it "GA" now (as in beluGA), and she asks for it "agi, agi" and again and again and again...

Oh, and speaking of songs, she totally E-I-E-I-Ooooooooos for "Old MacDonald" now, so cute! And sings a good number of letters in the Alphabet Song. And finishes off with a rousing "TOWN" at the end of every "Wheels on the Bus" chorus. My baby loves her some music!

In other non-verbal developmental news, she's moved pretty solidly from two naps a day to 1, around 11 (but can be pushed back sometimes to 12)ish. Usually around 90 minutes long. Momma like.

She's developing quite a personality, too. While I like the development, I'm not sure I always like the asserting of the personality. Because it usually involves telling me no. A lot. And yelling at me when I don't comply with whatever she wants. Which I don't do, because I'm the Momma, ghuy'cha'!

She had her second Christmas this last month, and boy, did she ever enjoy opening presents! We'd make a little tear and she'd grab on and just pull and pull. She helped everyone open their presents! She also had her second New Year's, and once again, thank goodness, slept through the fireworks.

We went through a little period of fussy associated with a cold that eventually became a sinus infection, but even when little girl doesn't feel well, she's super-sweet.

We've settled into a nice evening routine. Home from daycare, make dinner (cookie! = cooking), eat dinner, read books while Daddy gets the shower ready, shower, a little play while getting the sleeper on, boobie, and bed. The boobie still puts her to sleep more than half the time, but sometimes Daddy has to pat her down, still.

We've also got a lovely little morning routine. Wake at 5:30, Daddy changes the diaper and gets her dressed while I get ready to nurse, breastfeeding (while Mommy watches Star Trek), then she sits in my lap and we share my oatmeal (O meeh!), then we move to the bedroom where she plays while I dress, then I brush my teeth (buh ti ti!) and hers, then put on my shoes (shoe!) and hers, then we grab her lunch and put on her jacket (ja kee) and head to daycare (school).

Love my little talking squishy. 15 months old and the time is flying!

The New Eating Plan

2012-01-03T12:45:00.000-06:00

Mostly me focused, only a bit baby focused. :-)

Work days (M-R)
6: Oatmeal (150 cal, 5 g protein, 4 g fiber - this is my nod to the baby, this'll have more protein and fiber when I'm done breastfeeding because I'll switch to Kashi Go-Lean Vanilla oatmeal 150 cal, 9 g protein, 7 g fiber)
7: Coffee on the way to work (180 cal, 8 g protein, 1 g fiber)
9: Stonyfield Oikos (90 cal, 10 g protein, 0 g fiber)
11: Pringles (110 cal, 1 g protein, 1 g fiber) + Sargento string cheese (50 cal, 6 g protein, 0 g fiber)
2: Amy's cheese burrito (310 cal, 7 g protein, 11 g fiber) + banana (approx. 100 cal, 1 g protein, 3 g fiber) + Viactiv calcium chew (20 cal.)
5:30ish: Dinner
7ish: Dessert (right now most likely 3 milky way darks = 80 cal. or Mocha Cinnamon Pudding that I tried for the first time last week - higher cal (funny, website says 194, magazine said 176), but it feels like I get to eat it for a loooooong time, which is a really good thing and may be worth the extra calories.)
= 1200 calories (42 g protein, 16 g fiber) plus dinner

So far, so good:
Jan 1: 1222 intake calories, as tracked in MyFitnessPal
Jan 2: 1829 intake calories
Jan 3: I'm on track so far! Oatmeal, coffee, oikos, pringles. Saving the string cheese for after lunch!

I don't actually have a hard-and-fast goal calorie number. I want to know how many I ate, I want to be more aware of my eating, and I'd like my net to be around 1700. But that can kind of average around, too. Goals this month are NO EATING OUT. AT ALL (except one time when I'm taking my staff to lunch, pre-planned, and I'm the boss so I can't get out of it!). And no cooking anything that I know will be massively incompatible with my goals. I actually think a month of really nit-picking like this will do me a world of good.

12 in 2012

2012-01-01T21:25:00.001-06:00

My previous post still stands, but at the last moment, I've decided in some concrete (maybe a little gimmicky) goals for 2012. It is simple: 2010 was the year of incubation, 2011 was the year of breastfeeding, so in 2012 I'd like to refocus on myself, at least a bit!

My non-mommy identity is in my love of books, my love of running/triathlon, and in my self confidence. Therefore I will:
Lose 12 pounds in 2012.
Read at least 12 books (other than to my child) in 2012.
Race 12 times in 2012.
And I have one other secret 12 goal.

That should be easy enough to remember! Let the games begin.

Resolutions

2012-01-01T11:03:00.002-06:00

Reading back on my goals for 2011 really helps me put things in perspective. Facing 2011 I was looking at totally uncharted territory. Zoë slept through the night for the very first time on New Year's Eve, and on New Year's Day, I had no idea if that was a fluke or not!

Given that I had no idea what life (and my Kid) would have in store for me, this what what I made my goal: "I would like to return to my pre-pregnancy weight range (125-130 lbs), start working out regularly again, start back to work and maintain a healthy work-life separation."

I chose to let my real goals in smaller monthly increments since I thought I'd have a better idea of what life was like on a monthly basis. But, I've fallen down on most of my monthly goals this year. I think partially because I was setting super-high targets so that I'd have the motivation to struggle to achieve them, even if I knew when I was setting them that there was no way that they'd happen. I think another part of it is that I continue to set goals like I'm not ruled by a tiny toddler terrorist. (But let's face it, I am.) And I think the final, and perhaps most important, component is that I've been struggling with my motivation.

So what have I accomplished this year? Well, I didn't hit my goal range. But I did lose weight. Weight on January 1, 2011 was 148.8. Weight this morning was 138.8 (cringe). I'm not working out as much as I want, but when I look back over the year, I did actually log a good number of sessions (190 as of Dec 19), punctuated by several big gaps reflecting sickness and baby issues. I started back to work, and for my glowing success, I have found what I think is a healthy balance - what I've discovered is that I don't take my work home with me, either physically or mentally with the Z at home, and that is a *wonderful* thing! I also nourished a tiny human from my body for the ENTIRE YEAR. And I did 5 races this year - that's not nearly as many as in the past, but it is an accomplishment since races are much more logistically difficult than they used to be!

Goals for 2012 are still nebulous. And I'm still pretty sure that I'm pie-in-the-sky regarding what is realistic for me with the Shrimpie around. BUT, I do have goals.

I want back in that goal weight range (125-130).
We're down to breastfeeding only morning and night at this point, and I want to make the mental shift from eating for breastfeeding to eating for myself, for weight loss (until I'm in that range), for workout-fuel. (Difficult because I don't think I'm ready to want to lose my milk or quit breastfeeding, but I do feel like I need to re-focus my eating and relationship with food. We've breastfed for 15 months, now, and let's face it, the Z doesn't *need* me for nutrition any longer.)
I want to do "more" races. I think having a looming race helps with my motivation. I've been experiencing post-race doldrums, so I need to keep races on the calendar. It is ok if I stick with short races again this year, I think that helps with the Kid around, but I would like to get back up to 10Ks, and I'd also like to be ready for the 8 mile Turkey Trot next Thanksgiving in Dallas.
I want my working out to be more regular/more satisfying. This past year I struggled with being really regular - I worked out regularly in fits and starts. I allowed myself to get derailed by sickness, lack of sleeping through the night, etc. I might still get derailed by these things, but I need to recover faster - i.e. don't throw in the towel on the whole week because Z didn't sleep through Sunday night! I also want to be more satisfied with what I do - I often found myself just hopping on the stationary bike as a default. And while it was better than nothing, I don't feel good about it because it isn't hard enough. I need to really work, I need to really make the time count if I'm going to put it in. Stationary biking just won't cut it unless I'm sick or in need of recovery time.

Let's put this a different way: my goal in 2012 is to feel good about myself and to make smart decisions. I feel better about myself when my weight is under control, I'm making good food decisions, and I'm working out. So that is what I want to do, but really those are means to the end goal, which is feeling good.

Milk Machine

2011-12-29T11:37:00.000-06:00

I was looking back through old photos, and as the milk machine has grinded to a halt, I realized I never posted these photos we took back in January, when I was in the midst of peak production. And I was a Machine. So without further ado:

I'd pump into bottles.

Pre-label bags.

Measure.

Pour into bags.

Get all the air out before closing.

An overview in process.

And end up with a lot of milk for freezing.
(I always bagged several days at once, because I found the bagging process so labor intensive, but I didn't like pumping into bags because The Overachiever/Exsanguinator produced so much more than The Slacker that I needed to even it out for storage. Well, that, and The Overachiever actually produced more in one session than a bag could hold.)

For the record, the dropping of the mid-day pumping this week has gone well. I'm not sure how many oz I had frozen when I was at peak capacity - my guess is several hundred - (definitely enough to necessitate that we buy another freezer!) but as of Zoë's final daycare bottle last week, there were 7 oz, read it, 7 oz remaining frozen.

It just turned out absolutely perfectly - I couldn't have possibly planned it this well. Z was exclusively breastfed for 12 months (even through the assassination attempt and my tooth issues), and all bottles from 12-15 months contained breastmilk, even after we added cow's milk from a cup and that shifted to her primary beverage. And I still have 7 oz in case I need/want to go on a date one night. ;-) And we're still happily breastfeeding mornings and nights. I really, honestly couldn't have asked for more. :-)

Do You Know What Today Is?

2011-12-22T08:18:00.000-06:00

No, Not Christmas Eve Eve Eve. (Well, yes Christmas Eve Eve Eve, but that's not what I was going for. (Even though I cannot WAIT to get my Kindle for Christmas!))

Today, dear reader, is THE VERY LAST DAY that I will be pumping at work. (Unless my mom comes to town and I get to come in early and have to pump the morning feed.)

Oh yes. The last day. EVAR. (For this kid.)

Do you know what that means?

No more lugging 80 pounds of pump and corresponding cooler back and forth to work. No more panicking that I've forgotten bottles or bottle caps or an ice pack for the milk. No more worrying that I'm not producing enough for tomorrow's bottle. No more pump parts to clean. No more husband to bug to clean said pump parts. No more closing my door and feeling the creepy-wrong feeling of being topless at work. No more forgetting that I have a meeting and then not having enough time to pump beforehand and getting all engorged in the meeting. No more not taking breaks because I'm pumping instead. NO MORE PUMPING!!!!! WahooooooO!!!!!!!

*doing a little dance*

No more pumping. No more pumping! NO MORE PUMPING!!!!!

It Finally Happened

2011-12-20T14:25:00.000-06:00

Dear Zoë,

Yesterday Daddy claims that you were asking for me as soon as y'all got home. You were all, "Mama, mama?" He claims.

Then I got home and I reached out for you and you DENIED me. Ouch. Daddy said, "Zoë, do you want to go to Mama?" And you said, wait for it, "NO!!!" While shaking your head no. Emphatically.

Mommy had a sad.

So I went about my business, putting away the milk that I SQUEEZE FROM MY BODY every day at work for you to drink, and then without looking at you directly (It's like a kitty - don't look at you directly, and somehow you don't know I'm coming), I snuck you into my arms from Daddy. Daddy promptly vacated the premises, and I was left with you yelling at me while I tried to quickly get you some dinner.

By the time Daddy rejoined us, I was almost glad you love him better. (But not really.)

With you fed, I read to you while we waited for Daddy to get the shower ready (you still prefer me for reading), then y'all headed off to the shower while I made your meals for the next day, our little nightly ritual.

So I'm at the cutting board cutting up grapes for you when I head Daddy call for me, and you start crying. I ran to the bathroom to see what happened - how you got hurt. And, oh, little girl, Mama had a big laugh, because it finally happened, the thing I've been worrying about: you had dropped a GIANT deuce in the shower. Complete with visible corn and spinach in it. Nice.

All I can say is THANK YOU for giving that lovely gift to your favorite parent!

Love,
Mama

A Little Fall

2011-12-14T06:29:00.002-06:00

Last Friday I was headed out to my car in a dark garage (light burned out) with Zoë on my hip when I tripped (I think?) and fell.

It was literally the most terrifying thing that has happened to me since I fell when pregnant.

I landed on both knees, my right hand, and my left elbow. I looked down into Zoë's face and she was laying on the concrete. We just looked at each other for a second, and then her little face crumpled and she started crying. Not wailing, like she normally does when hurt, but a scared crying. And then I started crying. I apologized over and over as I got up and very painfully made my way back into the house. I wasn't sure if she had hit her head. By the time I was on the phone with Preston I was panicking so badly that I could barely speak. Zoë actually calmed down very quickly, perhaps in response to me extreme reaction? Preston calmed me down, and after a few more minutes of mutual cuddly comfort with the Z, I cleaned myself up (I tore my jeans!), and we headed to daycare.

Where I had to tell Miss Mary what happened in case Zoë started acting funny, and I cried again while telling her!

Long story short: Z is fine.

Behold the physical carnage:

Golfball ankle.

This actually looks worse now with a nice big scab.

Ditto this with its scab, and it hurt way worse than this photo looks!

Elbow bruised so badly it hurts to put it on my armrest at work.

5 days later and the ankle is still tweaky, there is a giant bruise on the non-scabbed knee, and scabs all over the place. And the mental scarring is worse than everything else! (At least the baby is ok.)

Breakfast with Daddy

2011-12-12T06:37:00.002-06:00

Imagine a photo booth.

Qurl! (Squirrel.)

Nana. (Banana.)

Issa! (What's that?)

Brr! (Bird.)

(Signing "bird".) Tweet tweet. (Tweet tweet.)

Fredericksburg Fotos

2011-12-05T13:18:00.002-06:00

While we were in Fredericksburg over Thanksgiving, we were whiling away some hours until the rest of the world woke up, and we ended up alone in a little winter wonderland on Marketplatz. With a camera.

TMI: Girl Stuff

2011-11-30T10:33:00.000-06:00

Boys, don't say I didn't warn you!

So, I've experienced my.... return to fertility. I went 23 (23!!!!!) wondrous months without being... fertile... but, alas, that's over now.

I think it is because we dropped down to only 3 breastfeeding sessions per day... The funny thing is that I've been thinking that this sad day was coming. I had noticed some "climate changes" in myself in the past few weeks, and I had this weird gross dream the other night only 2 days before things got going again. Suffice it to say that it woke me up and I ran to the bathroom to check! And I'm growing a new crop of zits after a lovely 2 year drought. Le sigh. (This is kind of funny because I had been telling Preston all of this and he was pretty shocked that I could be that in tune with my body. I'm not - I knew I was pregnant, and this is just another aspect of that same function.)

The good news is that I'm not experiencing any of the horror issues that I've heard often come with this momentous event. I'm moodier than a normal day but not disproportionately so. I haven't had my normal (for 2 years ago, at least - what is the new normal?) cramps or upset tummy at all! I'm not even taking ibuprofen. Or anything else! So on the scale of 1 to really terrible, I'm at a 2 because of the inconvenience, but really this is probably the least bad period I've ever had (there, I said it).

Now where is some wood I can go knock on?

ThunderCloud Subs Turkey Trot Race Report

2011-11-28T09:38:00.000-06:00

It has been 2 years since my "annual" Turkey Trot, and I'm glad to be back at it! I hope this is the beginning of a lifelong tradition for my daughter, most importantly.

I'm not gonna lie: I was nervous about this race. I was sick the week before and my last 2 runs were really pretty terrible. I also hadn't trained as much as I'd have liked, and I hadn't trained much with the stroller (okay - I trained with the stroller once (for a mile)). So I really wasn't sure how this thing was going to go down.

To back-up a bit: we left for Austin on Wednesday night after work. We drove to Brenham and stopped for dinner, then drove the rest of the way in. We stayed at the Hyatt right next to the start/finish. (Brilliant move, btw.) Arrived late for Z's bedtime, she finally went down around 10, I crashed immediately after.

Allowed the baby to wake us up around 6, breakfast was delivered at 6:20, and wandered over to pick up my packet at 7:30 when packet pick-up opened. The race itself wasn't starting til 9:30, and it was pretty chilly out, so I went back to the hotel to relax til about 9 when we headed over to the start.

I made a crucial mistake: as I said, it was chilly. I chose to run in long sleeves and capris even though the hourly forecast had it warming up to near 60 by the time the race started. I had a jacket on over that that I removed as I was standing in the starting corral (at the very back of the timed starters, as requested of stroller runners) and stashed in the stroller according to the grand plan. That's one thing that is really cool about running with a stroller: you've got plenty of places to put stuff, and in the face of pushing 40 pounds around, what's another few ounces? I ran with the jacket, a bottle of water, my phone, a baby, and diaper gear in the stroller. Anyways, after I took off that jacket, I knew I had screwed up by not wearing short sleeves because I was comfortably warm while I was standing still. This was doubly idiotic since I had the stroller and could have simply put a short sleeve on under the long and removed the long at any point. Annyways.... I'll know better next time! I also stressed over what to put the Z in, finally settling on her fleece sleeper so that I didn't have to worry about blankets or coats or anything else getting tossed out of the stroller. I do think that this was the right move.

So the race started off immediately with a mother-hill. I mean, this was a serious freaking hill. I live in Houston, people. The only hill I ever see is an overpass. And I'm sure as hell not training with a stroller on an overpass! (Not that I trained with the stroller anyways.) So I started running up this steep San Francisco style hill, and I knew I was going to get my ass kicked. But I wasn't walking in the first 5 minutes of the race. Even if that meant I burnt myself to a crisp and ended up walking the entire rest of the race! So I set my eyes on this little gazelle-woman hauling ass up this steep mother-hill with a DOUBLE STROLLER and I just tried to keep her in my sights. This hill was double evil because when I got to what appeared to be the crest, it was actually a false flat and then another steep rise to the actual crest. The only two things that kept me going were energizer-gazelle and her (probable) at least 60 pound load pulling away from me, and the knowledge that the start and finish lines were in the same place, so at some point all this climbing meant that I was going to get to come back down. People running by kept laughing and commenting on how cute Z is in the stroller because she leans forwards and grips the bar like she's on a roller-coaster ride! Even though the ride must be moving backwards since everyone is passing us...

I finally got to the top of that hill, and if I remember correctly, it flatted for a bit, then we got to experience the joy of running downhill with the stroller. Let me just say, hold onto your hat and clear a path, because I felt like I was getting dragged down that hill by an out of control - I dunno - something really freaking heavy that rolls - an out of control STROLLER. Ha. I was running (braking) on my toes with straight legs and leaning back, pulling on that stroller with all my might. And a few times I thought I was going to lose it, sheesh! And this happened on several hills throughout the race.

My initial plan was to run, but walk the water stops. Once I remembered I was running in AUSTIN, I decided I'd be walking up hills, and running the rest. This strategy worked well for me.

The Z fell asleep around mile 2, and woke up again around mile 4. I could tell because she let go of the bar to sleep, and grabbed right back onto it when she woke up, (I hope I can find some pics of us, she was really cute.)

I called Preston at mile 4 and told him to come meet us at the finish line. And then I ran it in.

Final time: 58:26 for 11:41/mi pace. 19th of 24 in the female all-ages baby jogger division.

Slow as a turtle? Yes. But I was secretly hoping for at least a sub-hour finish, so I'm really pleased with this! Even more pleasing is the fact that I never felt like I was pushing myself to an extreme, once I got past that first hill. I felt good for the rest of the day, and only had minimal soreness in the following 2 days. I dare say that I could have gone faster, but I'm actually glad that I didn't, because I enjoyed myself, I enjoyed the race experience, and I still felt good enough afterwards to enjoy my holiday. And I "raced" it with my Zoë in her first Turkey Trot and we had fun!

On Cussing - Update

2011-11-17T06:32:00.001-06:00

So I wrote about cussing before I actually expelled the Z forcibly from my body.

And then I spent a year cussing around her.

She's even listened to Cee-lo's song. :-)

But now, oh now we have a little imitator. When Preston's changing a poopy diaper, he pulls his shirt over his nose and when the smell is bad he often says, "Oh God!". Well the other day he went to change her and he pulled up his shirt and SHE said, "Oh God!" (Oh gah, oh gah! - so cute! - but also so wrong on a lot of levels.)

Here's my thing: it isn't really about what I think. The child has to go to school. She has to participate in society. And society finds cussing unacceptable. Especially in kids. I don't want to set her up to be disciplined - I don't want to set her up for failure. But I've gotta find something so say, and I'm sorry, I'm not saying "Jiminy Crickets" or "Whoopsie Daisy".

Thus enters "petaQ".

So I mentioned how I've been doing a grand Star Trek watch. And in all of those episodes, only one real curse word stood out or got frequent use: petaQ. (Pronounce peh-tah-K) It's a Klingon word meaning dishonorable person. Perfect. And it's got a nice pissed off sound to it. Double perfect. So we've been using it in place of our favorite cuss-nouns.

I did some research on the Interwebs and found an invective: ghuy'cha', but it isn't catching on as well. So, of course, we've been bastardizing the petaQ to make it a verb, adverb, etc. As in: petaQ the petaQing petaQ. It's working for us for now. And the Z is already trying to say it. We'll be ok unless she gets a Trekkie for a teacher. (And society hasn't vilified petaQ anyways, so even if they know what it means, can they punish her? And it only means "dishonorable person", so really, they shouldn't be able to, right? Here's where I get stuck - is it the meaning (which I think it should be) or the intent??)

"Been drivin' 'round town with the girl I love, and I'm like petaQ you and petaQ her too..."

Got a nice ring to it, yeah?

Last Weekend in Pictures

2011-11-16T06:19:00.002-06:00

Squishy kitty wants Momma to be lazy.

Tried the new pho place - Z approved.

You've heard of a club foot? This is a boot arm.

Gathered stuff for donation. Got an entire bag of shoes - this isn't even all! But what is funny is this photo reads like a history of the Brooks Glycerin line.

Went to a Cake Wrecks book signing - they had a professional "wreck"plica! (And it was yummy!)

Jen and hubby john of Cake Wrecks, squee!!

On Considering a Second - Update the Second

2011-11-15T15:30:00.000-06:00

I actually have several things I want to blog right now. I want to do a weekend update in pictures. And I want to talk about cussing. But this is such a big issue that it seems like it elbows its way to the front of my mind and makes such a racket that I can't function without giving it some attention. I hope writing this entry will help me soothe that demon so the rest of my mind can resume normal activity.

So here it is: I'm pretty sure I want another kid. BUT I think I need to wait. For professional reasons. I think that is what is bugging me. I think I'd rather have another sooner. And I think it kind of sucks to wait because of work. I mean... work is work, and it is my career we're talking about, but kids are forever. But here's the deal with work: this thing we're going to be doing near the end of 2012, it is HUGE. A less-than-once-in-a-decade deal (the last time was 1999, and its only ever been done twice at my institution, and the next time won't happen for at least 5-8 more years). I'm a major player in this, and honestly there isn't anyone else that can take my role. This is a résumé builder, a challenge, a learning experience, a chance to shine. This is my job at its hardest, but also at its point of greatest opportunity. I simply cannot be on maternity leave when this thing goes down. Not because anyone says so, but because I *want* to be there. And if I got preggo now or in the near future, I would likely be on leave. But who knows if the 2012 date is accurate? What if we wait to try, and the implementation gets held up? Arg! I keep reminding myself, we're only talking (probably) a year(ish) here. That isn't make-or-break. If I got pregnant in early 2013, Zoë would only be 3 when she got her sib. 3 is fine!! And I'd be around for the work thing, almost certainly. I don't know what I'm getting so hung up about.

But I am... a little. Hung up, that is...

This May Have Happened

2011-11-12T12:58:00.001-06:00

This conversation actually happened when the news that the Astros might move to the AL first leaked, but it is as true today as it was then... And I was being sarcastic, but I don't like it either.

3 Pics Thursday

2011-11-10T08:04:00.000-06:00

Silly reading with Daddy.

"Helping" Mommy bike.

Just a cool photo!

5 Miler in the Morning

2011-11-07T13:23:00.000-06:00

Well, I did it! I ran 5 miles! (Well, I ran most of 5 miles. I'd reckon about .7 miles walked - .2 to warm-up (yes, I counted warm up and cool down in the mileage - I was under time constraints!), .3ish after I ran 3 miles, .1ish after another mile, and .1 to cool down.)

All weekend after I signed up for the Austin Turkey Trot I've been panicking about running 5 miles. What was I thinking signing up for a race that was a distance that I haven't covered since February of 2010??

To answer: what I was thinking was that if I can run 3, I can run 5. I know that. I've known that for a long time. But I needed to be reminded for some mental confidence. I thought if I could knock out 5 this morning, even if quite a bit was walking, at least I'd know I can finish on Thanksgiving! And now I've got a couple of weeks to do it a few more times, so maybe I don't have to walk so much, although honestly I have every intention of walking every aid station, so maybe I'm not too far off. (And maybe I get some practice with the stroller!)

Also, I was slooooow - almost exactly an hour from start to finish. Now, some of that was on purpose, as I always run slow when I'm going a distance that I'm not sure I can go. And some was probably the walking. But I have NO desire to take an hour for this race. None at all. 50ish minutes... ok. But not an hour. So I've got a little work to do. Quickly (literally).

Really, though, I'm just blogging to crow about my 5 miles. Because I woke up 30 minutes early to do it. Because I got right out of bed and didn't choose to snuggle my warm bedbuddy and go back to sleep. Because I ran over 3 miles before I walked. Because I tacked on the 5th mile, even when I went right by home at 4 miles. Because all of that means it was a victory on about 5 levels (1 for each mile, ha!). Yay, me!

Potential Race Musings

2011-11-04T10:12:00.000-05:00

Something about the fear of signing up for the Turkey Trot has prompted me to *want* to sign up for more races. I think the fear may be good for me!

It is so difficult to get out to races with the little one that I'm becoming a bit more discerning about what races I'm willing to come out for! Basically, you either need to be so close that I'd be an idiot not to come out, you need to have a medal or a tech t, or... no, that's it. Oooo, or if you allow strollers and don't imply that I'm going to have to only walk with my stroller (though I'm happy to start at the back, I'm running, damnit.).

With that said, I've done a little looking around, and here are some races that I'm considering:

11/12: Team Red White & Blue Veteran's Day 5K/10K - close, tech shirts
12/4: Mistletoe Fun Run (5K or 10K) - fairly close, everyone gets a medal
1/15/2012: EP5K - medals, plus the 1 year anniversary of my comeback 5K!
1/28/2012: Piney Woods Trail Run - close, tech shirts
3/3/2012: The Woodlands 5K Fun Run - close, medals AND tech shirts!
3/17/2012: Warrior Dash - closeish, medals, fun for the whole family

We'll see... we'll see...

All In

2011-11-03T07:53:00.001-05:00

I officially signed up for the Turkey Trot in Austin. It is a 5 miler. Even though I've been saying for months that a 5 mile Turkey Trot was my goal, I'm a little freaked out! It'll be my longest post-baby race. I entered the Baby Jogger division, so the Z'll be accompanying me in the BOB; our first stroller race! (I don't know why, but for the life of me I can't find a stroller-friendly race in Houston. I've been looking!) I think I've just got to throw down the next 2 Fridays and suffer through 5 milers. And a couple of little stroller runs on the weekends wouldn't hurt either. I think that is the only way I'm going to achieve even a modicum of mental calm. So tomorrow it's on!

(Note: this is not the Run Thru the Woods 5 miler, as I had originally planned. When I started looking at the Thanksgiving travel, I thought it might be easier to break it up into 2 days from a screaming-child-hates-car perspective. Therefore, we'll be in Austin on Thanksgiving morning, instead of Houston. I'm totally cool with this: all I want is a race on Thanksgiving morning. I could care less what city it is in, and in fact, I'm looking forward to trying a new trot!)

Strongly considering doing the 5K Hill Country Turkey Trot in Fredericksburg the following Saturday. Because if you're going to be out of town on Thanksgiving weekend, why not get the t-shirts?

After that I've got a year to prep for the 8 mile Turkey Trot in Dallas. Think I can add on 3 miles in a year? ;-)

Goal Review

2011-11-02T13:39:00.000-05:00

October goal review:
Continue working the partial weaning situation down to 4x per day. WINNER!! 3x per day, and that's perfect for now!

Work out, anything is better than nothing, and whatever I need to do to make it work is good enough. I win again! Nebulous goals are greatly attainable. :-)

Goal: get ready to run the 5 miler on Thanksgiving. Weeeeelllll... partial win. I only logged 4 runs this month. BUT most were near the end of the month, and I biked a lot when I wasn't running, and the last few runs were getting progressively better: stronger, farther, maybe faster. I feel pretty confident that a non-walking 5K is do-able right now, and I wouldn't feel like I was about to die at the end, so if I can just add a mile a week to my "long" run, I can hit 5 on Thanksgiving, even if my training isn't where I want it to be.

Informal goals: survive Z's party with JaMIL intact. Check. Finally finish upstairs. Fail, but made a little more progress. And move on from Mike's death at work - still working on it, but made good progress.

One thing that I did this month that wasn't on my goal list, but that I'm really proud of is I started doing core in my office on breaks. I'm trying for every day, but am happy with 3-4x per week. This has been a sustainable, do-able way for me to get in at least a little core, and we all know I've been wanting to focus on my core. And I have seen some improvement, so yay!

Weight on October 1 was 131.8. Weight on November 1 was 132.4. I honestly had a rough month on this front. It got a little out of control, but I got it back under control before the end of the month, bringing it back DOWN to only half a pound gained. A slip but a mental win for limiting the damage.

November goals:
See the 131s again. Yes, even with Thanksgiving.
Run the Run Thru The Woods 5 miler on Thanksgiving day. Finish upright and smiling.
Keep up the office core exercises. Goal = 4x per week.

Informal: still wanting to finish the upstairs. Still wanting to renovate the downstairs. Hold the line for healthy eating as best as possible, especially on non-holidays! Get a family picture, darn it. And get the Christmas cards at least created and ordered.

Because I Can't Resist the Meme

2011-11-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

A. Age: 30.
B. Bed size: Queen.
C. Chore you hate: Taking out the trash. Scrubbing toilets. That's why I made those Preston's chores! (And why the toilets are filthy and the trash accumulates on top of and all around the trash cans, but I digress.)
D. Dogs: are very sweet. I wish we could have one!
E. Essential start to your day: Bolthouse Farms Perfectly Protein Mocha Cappuccino.
F. Favorite color: Blue.
G. Gold or silver: Gold. I used to be a silver gal until my grandmother passed away and I got one of her rings, which was gold. I've never liked to mix my metals, so ever since then, gold.
H. Height: 5’5.
I. Instruments you play: Hmm... none really any more, but I've dabbled in piano, violin, clarinet, and drums over the years.
J. Job title: Librarian.
K. Kids: Yes. Well, one, at least.
L. Live: H-town!
M. Mom’s name: Used to be "Mom", now is "Gramma".
N. Nicknames: Berzle.
O. Overnight hospital stays: Two. One when I had my baby, and one when she tried to kill me.
P. Pet peeve: Misspelling. (Not typos, which I frequently make. Just flat out ignorant or lazy misspelling.)
Q. Quote from a movie: "We've have one, yes, what about second breakfast?" --LOTR-FOR
R. Right or left handed: Dextra.
S. Siblings: Two halfsies.
T. Time you wake up: 4, which is better than 3:30!!
U. Underwear: Yes.
V. Vegetables you dislike: Asparagus, mushrooms (do mushrooms count as veggies? is there a category for fungi?).
W. What makes you run late: My child. My husband. The petaQ in front of me going 60 in the fast lane.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Wrist, teeth, knee.
Y. Yummy food you make: Pineapple pecan cake, Blueberry oatmeal muffins, Roast and mashed potatoes.
Z. Zoo- favorite animal: Monkey, but it makes me sad to see them in a zoo.

Big Cooking Day(s) #7

2011-10-31T09:22:00.000-05:00

This weekend the cooking joy encompassed 2 days, and once again, I think we've gotten a week's worth of food!

We've (finally!) had a "cold" front, so I was wanting foods that would warm our bodies and our home. My favorite winter meal is roast, for that reason, so that's what we cooked on Saturday. My recipe is simple: buy a big honking chuck roast (that's a technical term), put Season Salt and Garlic Powder all over it, rub it in, etc. Put it in a (floured) oven browning bag in a 9x13 pyrex. Cut an onion into quarters and place one in each corner. Divide a bag of baby carrots on all sides. Stick a bay leaf on top. Pour in water until you're almost to the top of the roast, however much it takes. Close up the bag, cut a few slits in the top, and bake for 2-3 hours (for a 2-3 lb roast) at 325. It makes the house smell amazing, it gives you a roast so moist and tender that it is falling apart, it gives you some super-yummy carrots, and it gives you gravy that makes mashed potatoes taste like heaven. We ate some that night, and have at least another meal's worth.

Sunday I did the slow cooker Barbecue Chicken, and a Quiche. We had the quiche for lunch and have another meal's worth left over, and the chicken for dinner and have a meal's worth left over, and that takes us through Wednesday! Thursday we can have frozen pizza or eat sub sandwiches.

I was also pleased with the 2 day approach because I ate more healthily all weekend using this method - we only ate out on Friday evening (for Preston's dad's birthday), and we never felt the need to eat out the rest of the weekend because there was always something nommy (also a technical term) about to come out of the oven!

Also, Zoë really really likes quiche, yay!

First Tooth Pic

2011-10-30T10:26:00.013-05:00

I've been trying to get a picture of Zoë's first tooth since it came in almost 2 months ago.

Tooth.

This is the best I've been able to do.

Zoë's First Birthday Pics

2011-10-28T10:26:00.000-05:00

On the actual day:

There was an awesome 2 liter bottle at Gramma and Papi's.

And a balloon from daycare!

And Gramma, who taught her to remove the lid from said bottle, and she was very excited about it!

And then at the party:

There was a book!

And Papi read it to her.

There was a cupcake!

Which she really wasn't sure was for eating.

The wrapping paper was far yummier than the cupcake.

There was her wagon that she shared with Cousin Ethan!

And more reading with Mommy and Daddy.

Birthdays = fun!

Big Cooking Day #6

2011-10-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

(No run this morning - even though the Rangers got rained out last night, the Z woke up twice in the night, so I slept in.)

This BCD was a win for the bake sale, and a fail for family dinners.

I made 2 batches of the Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins and the Pineapple Pecan Cake with cream cheese icing. Both totally made from scratch. And they did very well at the bake sale - I reckon I was responsible for over $30 of what we earned!

I'm not only the baker, I'm also a client.

And I unfroze the 2nd half of the crockpot Chicken Curry and made that. But it turned out that that was only 1 night worth of food, and we ate it on Sunday night!

So the rest of this week has been a total scramble. Monday I had Preston pick up Murphy's sub sandwiches for us and my parents who are in town. Tuesday we ate PBJ sandwiches, and Wednesday my mom did a Breakfast for Dinner night at her house with pancakes, french toast, and bacon. (And the Z loved her pancakes and drank a ton of milk out of a glass, yay!) I have absolutely no idea what we'll do tonight - maybe frozen pizza(s). But I'm off on Friday so we'll be back in business with more healthy eating then. All this daily uncertainty about what to eat for dinner has really reminded me of why I do the BCD's, and how I need to not lose my focus on the purpose, which is to feed my family Monday through at least Wednesday, preferably Thursday. But the bake sale is for charity and only once a year, so I wouldn't go back and change things... I do know that as the holidays approach, though, I'll probably be tempted to stray again. I need to remind myself to keep on track - fun baking is extra!!

In Which I Talk About Running

2011-10-26T06:39:00.000-05:00

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN RUNNING.

Wahoooooo!!!!

Ok, so they have been short, tiny runs. But I've been running!

About a mile and a half yesterday morning. I didn't have much time, but I didn't use that as an excuse. That was the first best thing about that run. The second best thing was how I felt: which was not like I was going to die! THat is such an improvement, let me tell you! I mean, on the 3 miler last week I started bargaining with myself about not walking before I was a quarter of a mile in. But yesterday morning I never felt the need to walk, and I felt.... lighter, easier, more on top of my running. I was still slow as all get-out, but I ran and I didn't walk and I felt good. And for me right now, that is HUGE.

Then I decided to go again this morning. My logic: I'm going to be up late tonight watching MY Texas Rangers WIN THE WORLD SERIES (if you will it, it will happen!), so I'm going to want to sleep in tomorrow. So I need to run today. So I did. 2 miles this time. And while the legs were a little heavier from the day before, this was also a startlingly good and successful run.

I've decided that the current weather is perfect for my running habit. Not for running in, don't get me wrong - don't ever let anyone tell you that anything warmer than 60 is good weather for running - but for getting out there and just getting it done. Often. It is about 70 degrees out in the mornings right now, and there is an INSANE drought going on down here. 70 is perfect because I'm neither hot nor cold when I roll out of bed, and therefore there is nothing mentally holding me back from going outside. Obviously when it is hotter it is difficult because if you're hot standing still, you know you're going to be miserable while running. And when it is cold you know it'll be awesome while you're running, but there is the great freezing getting-out-of-bed issue, followed by the great freezing warm-up issue before you get to the good part. But right now... right now I just go. And once I'm running I'm hot but not miserable. And the drought is actually helpful just because rain never stops me either.

By the way, on the drought. So it rained down here the other week. Lots of rain. You know, for like the 5th time since Zoë was BORN. Apparently mosquito eggs down here lie dormant until a big rain. And since there had been no rain, when it finally happened, the ENTIRE SUMMER's crop of mosquitoes hatched SIMULTANEOUSLY. They may not be so big you can ride them, but there are certainly enough to create flying carpets to replace cars as transportation for every Houstonian. Which is another awesome thing about running at the butt-crack of dawn: it is too early even for the mosquitoes!

Weekend Wrap-up

2011-10-24T12:22:00.000-05:00

Here's a long weekend wrap-up for you, complete with photos!

Fun in the car as I came home from work.

Friday was a normal day, except that I had to take the Menace to the car doc AGAIN because the idle control valve thingy that they installed the other month really doesn't seem to be working properly. And except we hit the carwash on the way home from dinner at Jax. And by "hit the carwash" I mean "visited the awesome gumball machine".

Contemplating her vertical leap ability.

Saturday morning we went to the Madza dealership for Preston's car's 10k check-up. All systems nominal. And we browsed at CX-7s and CX-9s for me. You know, just in case the Menace continues to misbehave.

The dealership must have left their balloons out over night just for the Z.

After that we headed back home to try putting the Z down for a nap sans boob for the first time ever. I had asked the daycare ladies for advice on Friday, and basically the party line was (gently) hold her down with one hand on her back and pat her butt in a heartbeat pattern. It'll take 20 minutes, at least, and she'll squirm and struggle, but eventually she'll fall asleep. Don't give up, don't lose patience.

Well, they were right about everything but the 20 minutes - it was more like 35! But eventually she did comply, and she took a nice looooong nap once she was finally asleep!

Once she woke up, we headed to a local pumpkin patch to pick out a pumpkin to carve. It was really pretty cool: they had a little goat pen and tons of pumpkins, and for when she's older, hayrides, train rides, and a bounce house slide thingy. But for now, we just looked at the goats and all the pumpkins and all the other kids. Z had a great time!

Shy at the petting zoo.

Little pumpkin in the pumpkin patch.

We stopped by Freebirds on the way home, but Z was asleep in the car, so we made it take out.

Sunday we watched the very last episode of Star Trek: Voyager. I can't remember if I've mentioned it before, but I've been doing a watch of every Star Trek ever. I was never a Trekkie before - it seemed like the series never hit me in the right way or at the right time. So it started when I saw the new movie. I wanted to understand all the references, so I started watching TOS. Then when I was done, I was thoroughly sucked in and that led nicely into TNG, which led to DS9 (watched while pregnant and then breastfeeding), and finally Voyager. And now I'll move on to Enterprise.

The funny thing is that I get the same feeling with the end of an episodic series that I get when I finish a long good book. I mean, I've been watching Voyager for probably 9 months, now. I cried during the last episode. Until the end I claimed DS9 as my favorite Star Trek series, but now I'd have to say Voyager - I liked the ending that much better. I hope Enterprise doesn't disappoint, and can't even imagine what I'm going to do when I've seen all of them!

Sunday also involved some extreme cooking, and a belly ache. More on the cooking in a later post. No more on the belly ache, unless it attacks the Z. :-) Onward!

On Dictatorship

2011-10-21T12:48:00.000-05:00

If I am ever in a true position of power in my organization, I hope that I am always willing to listen. I hope that I am always able to see logic. I hope I am able to admit that I am wrong. I hope that I know everyone's name, or lots of them. I hope that I am approachable.

I know as a parent I'm in a position of power in my home. I hope that I am always willing to listen to my husband and my child. I hope that I am always able to see logic. I hope that I am able to admit it when I'm wrong. I hope that they know that they can come to me with anything.

Baby Excuses Over

2011-10-20T13:07:00.000-05:00

I just read this. And she's right. One year is long enough to play the "I just had a baby" card. I'm still allowed to play the "I'm nursing" card, but that's a much smaller card!! Time to buck up or shut up.

On Partial Weaning

2011-10-19T11:14:00.000-05:00

Ugh, this is so hard!

So the last few weeks, my daytime/afternoon supply has been dwindling. Evidenced by the Z's marathon hour+ nursing sessions last weekend. And by the fact that I'm getting 5.5 oz combined MAX from my 2 daily at-work pumping sessions, instead of my former 8-10 oz. And really what I'm seeing is a relatively normal 4-4.5 oz session in the morning, followed by a 1-1.5 oz session in the afternoon that has had me asking why I'm bothering.

I don't know why I'm losing my afternoon supply. This all started the week that my colleague died, and that week I chalked it up to stress. I ate well and drank tons of water the following weekend, tried to make my peace with his death, and saw a slight rebound in my supply. I continued those good practices, but what I listed above is as good as it has gotten. At this point, it may have been initially a reaction to stress, but I don't think it is necessarily recoverable, and honestly I don't know if I want it to be.

I mean, yes, in a perfect world, I don't feel ready to be done nursing. And in a perfect world I'd stay home with my baby, and we'd keep our 4 daily nursing sessions: morning, down for both naps, and night. But I've got to get it through my head that we don't live in a perfect world. And I can't be with her for 2 of those sessions on 5 days a week. And that is 10 pumping sessions. And I am soooo sick of pumping. Especially for a 1.5 oz yield. And my place of work has been really understanding, but I can't go on like this forever. Maybe this is my body's way of telling me that it is time to drop a session.

But when I think of how excited she gets when we ask her if she wants milk and she sees me getting ready and then how sweet she is as she falls asleep while nursing... well, I'm crying, again.

I keep trying to remind myself that we're not talking about total weaning. Just about 1 session right now. 5 obnoxious pumping sessions per week. And 2 sweet weekend nap nursing sessions. Sigh. I worry about how we're going to get her to go down without the boob. And I worry that once I've taken this step, it'll lead to the eventual decrease of my supply for another session. And then another. And then another and she'll be weaned.

But that's all a part of her growing up.

But I'm not ready yet. And Zoë doesn't seem ready yet. She still responds so positively to nursing. And her little immune system is still only 60% of an adult's. And she's in daycare. And it's flu season. Ugh!

You know, they say that the very first time you give a baby solid food, you've begun the weaning process. And she did take less at that point: she went from 40+ oz per day to only 30+ oz per day. But she still ate or nursed what seemed like constantly (every 2 hours, and for a while even more often than that), so I never really felt it then. Even until very recently she was still nursing 6 times a day. It has only been in the last few weeks that I've really noticed that she only seems to need/want to nurse when it is time to sleep... I was able to drop the 5pm mommy-just-got-home-from-work nursing session with absolutely no difficulty at all. And dropping that one and the 3:30am pumping session - well, honestly, both of those were really a relief! And these 2 daytime ones will really be a relief on the weekdays, too. It is just the weekends I'm not sure about.

I just feel totally torn up about the whole thing. But I've managed to vacillate long enough to say for certain that I'm only pumping once today. And I only pumped once yesterday. There's no going back now.

*tear*

I ran!

2011-10-18T16:23:00.000-05:00

Woke up this morning, unengorged, and popped out of bed for a 30 minute run. Slow, but no walking. And now I have a baseline for how far I can go in 30 minutes, so I can proceed with trying to beat it. (From the top of the hill, on the short PW out-and-back loop, back to about halfway up the hill.)

Important things about this morning's run:
I got out of bed quickly. FINALLY.
My boobs weren't engorged (THANK YOU!), so I was not in pain and capable of running.
I can run even though I have a strange rib injury.
I mentally forced myself not to walk. It was difficult, but I did it.

Interesting things I noticed about this morning's run:
100% humidity (i.e. it started raining on me) feels better than 99% humidity.
Weather that is lovely for walking my warm-up isn't so awesome once I start running.

Earworm for this morning's run:
Shine by Collective Soul

A morning run really starts my day off right!

Big Cooking Day #5

2011-10-18T08:43:00.002-05:00

Again, wasn't so gigantic, but the principle continues to work well for us. Next weekend will be HUGE, so you've got that to look forward to!

I made Crock Pot Girls Chicken n' Dumplings, with a few modifications. I used a whole bag of whole baby carrots (easy, less prep), one entire unit of celery (I really prefer to use the whole of what I buy if it is something like celery because I'm not likely to use it for anything else before it goes bad), and half of a giant sweet onion. We also added 2 heads of broccoli. And we used chicken thighs instead of breasts - we both prefer dark meat, and it is cheaper, win-win! Preliminary reaction was that the crockpot was suuuuuuper full. Scarily full. So full that I was concerned that I'd be able to get the dumplings in. Second reaction was that this is far more liquidy than the stuff I've been making. Not sure I was looking for a soup, but it really looks like a soup. Third reaction was that 8 hours is a long time, and unlike my other recipes, I wasn't given the 4 hours on high alternative. Not sure if that'd have worked or not, so I went for the 8 hours on low, and added the dumplings at about 6.5 hours, and finished the dish prematurely at 7.5 hours. The chicken appeared very fully cooked, so I don't think that was a problem, and I was ready for bed!! Preston's first impression was that it tastes yummy. :-) I'll be trying it tonight!

On Saturday, Preston and I made the Lemon Fish and Garlicky Cream Corn, so we have a little corn left over for the week.

For Sunday, I made the Maple Glazed Salmon. We were going to have garlic veg (the kind you buy in a bag - probably need to develop/find my own recipe here), but I didn't make it to the store, so we just had rolls with it and called it a night. This was only ok with me because I know we'll get a lot of veg the rest of the week from the crock pot recipe.

That was actually it for the cooking day. I'm counting on 2 nights with the crock pot, 1 night we'll have steak and baked potatoes, and one night we'll have an Amy's frozen pizza. And then Friday we'll go out!

Next weekend I'll be baking for an annual bake sale that my department holds. I've alread pre-sold a batch of Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins, so I intend on making 2 batches. I'll also make Brownies (not from scratch), Pineapple Pecan Cake (from scratch, and always a huge hit), and possibly some sort of cookie... I've got my eye on an easy looking Vinegar cookie recipe (from scratch). All this means that it'll definitely be a weekend for one of the frozen halves of a crock pot recipe.

On Vitamins

2011-10-17T08:40:00.000-05:00

This conversation actually happened. It was the day before Z's 1 year well-baby check-up.

"Are you giving Zoë her vitamin drops?"
"No, I haven't been for months - they were nasty, she hated them, and she just spit them out immediately. I decided it wasn't a battle worth fighting."
"Are you going to tell the Pediatrician?"
"Of course."
"Good. Maybe that's why she's such a small baby."
"What, because I don't give her vitamins?"
"Yes."
"That's BULLSHIT. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Ironically, I heard this story on NPR on my way into work this morning.

People began taking vitamin supplements in the 1930's (shockingly little history on the supplement industry out there, sorry I resorted to Wikipedia which isn't exactly an authoritative source, but it does illustrate my point), and I can only assume widespread use didn't begin until later. So that means that humans have managed to survive and thrive as a species without vitamins for how long?

MY BABY is NOT skinny because she doesn't get her daily vitamin drops. She is skinny because her mom was naturally skinny (until she hit her mid 20's), her dad was naturally skinny (until he got married), and genetically she comes from a long line of primarily not-fat people. She was born skinny (perhaps because I ran while pregnant?), and according to her Pediatrician, as long as she stays in the same general percentage zone, there is no cause for concern. Read: she's just a skinny baby. Furthermore, she is breastfed, and I feed her a well-balanced diet of primarily organic solid food. For the record, I did tell the Pediatrician that I don't give the Z her vitamins, and she didn't even bat an eyelash.

And, the American Academy of Pediatrics ONLY recommends a vitamin D supplement. Which I was giving to the Z until the Pediatrician prescribed the nasty iron vitamin drops that made us quit altogether. If I had done my proper research back then, I would have just bought a cheap OTC D supplement and kept calm and carried on. Instead, I let myself get freaked out and had an over-reaction (to quit entirely). I'll know better next time, but in the meantime, my kid is just fine.

I love this link.

Just eat a balanced, healthy diet of whole foods that you cook yourself. Know what you're eating, and try to do a good job of getting a variety of foods. That's it. It isn't rocket science. And you don't have to pad the pockets of shady vitamin companies.

No Politics in the House

2011-10-13T08:33:00.000-05:00

Seriously, I really don't want to get into a political debate with anyone. I'll put it out to the world that I don't align with either party, and I vote for whoever I think is the best candidate. Therefore, I'm not following the Republican primaries.

But I heard this yesterday morning on the radio, and I can't get it out of my head.

In response to one candidate's 999 economic plan (9% tax on income, sales, and corporations), another candidate says this: "When you take the 999 plan, and turn it upside down, the devil's in the details."

I know nothing about the validity or invalidity of the plan. I do not know if it would work or not. I care, but only slightly, because let's be honest: it'll never come to fruition. Even if what's-his-name gets elected, he'll still be mired in our current code, trying desperately to get us out of an economic crisis while he's unable to actually *change* ANYTHING because CONGRESS legislates, the president merely enforces their laws. But I digress. How is that comment acceptable in a DEBATE? The definition of "debate" is as follows: A formal discussion on a particular topic in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward. THAT IS NOT AN ARGUMENT. That is just a stupid Stupid STUPID barb. Totally pointless. What does it say about the state of American politics that that was an acceptable statement in a political "debate"? Where is the substance? Why don't we demand substance? What does it say about us as a people that this kind of behavior from our elected (and wanna be elected) officials is acceptable? If this plan isn't going to work, and I shouldn't elect what's-his-name because of that, then you need to tell me why. Why won't it work? What do you propose that will work better? Or should a president not be an economics major? Then tell me who you're going to hire and why they'd be able to fix everything. Or tell me why you wouldn't be able to fix anything BECAUSE YOU CAN'T. I don't care. But don't just sling mud around the stage.

What I Read

2011-10-12T13:26:00.000-05:00

Original email: "I am looking into what exactly happened and I am coming up with some ideas on what I can do to keep this sort of thing from happening again. I have fixed the xxx and I have attached them to this email."

What I read: "I'm sitting at my desk completely bewildered about what my job is and how my company works I'm completely failing at coming up with any idea of creating even the most basic level of quality control. But I've manually fixed our MAJOR screw up, so at least I'm attaching that."

Harsh? Perhaps... True? Probably.

Big Cooking Day #4

2011-10-11T15:59:00.000-05:00

Not so big, but not skipped!

On the list:
Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Healthy Mama Barbecue Chicken (from frozen from Big Cooking Day #1)
Florentine Quiche
Garlicky Cream Corn
Maple Grilled Salmon

Managed to accomplish everything but the corn and salmon = not bad! (We went to Freebird's instead. :-) Because it was RAINING, yay!!)

The quiche is the only thing on here that I haven't talked about before. Here is the recipe (my mom's) in a nutshell (without amounts, because my memory sucks): thaw a package of chopped frozen spinach, wring out the water, combine with shredded cheddar that you've tossed in a bit of flour, plus mayo and eggs and some kind of small meat (I prefer turkey or ham cubes, but if we can't find that I do turkey bacon bits. My parentals like regular bacon.), mix it all together, put in a frozen pie crust and bake for 40 minutes at 350. This stores well in the fridge and heats up well in the microwave, so it is actually a great candidate for a Big Cooking Day.

Along those lines, I'm really looking forward to some cooler weather so that I can make Roast, Stew, Mulligatawny, and others that are best reserved for fall and winter!

Happy Birthday, Zoë!

2011-10-06T12:59:00.004-05:00

My dear, sweet baby girl,

You're not such a baby any more!

I've spent 30 years living, and I never knew the difference a year could make until I met you. I mean, think about it: in one single turn around the sun, you've: grown almost a foot(!), tripled your weight(!), eaten your first tasty morsels, taken your first steps, spoken your first words, blown your first kisses, laughed your first giggles, and smiled the first of what I hope is a lifetime of smiles.

You've transformed from a tiny little passive (screamy, poopy, sleepy) newborn into an actual person with wants and needs and emotions and reactions and preferences!

I'm getting a little tear in my eye just thinking about it.

So where are you at a year?

You're 19 pounds 2 ounces (17th percentile) and 29.5 inches tall (60th percentile). I don't remember the circumference of your head, but it is in the 85th percentile! You're walking. A LOT. And very well, too. Almost running, really.

You love to dance. And you love music of any sort. The best is still the theme song from Star Trek Voyager, but you also really love Everlong by the Foo Fighters. And you clap your hands when we sing If You're Happy And You Know It.

Your favorite food is fruit. Yes, I know that fruit is a food GROUP, but you really love all fruit. You eat cut up peaches, strawberries, plums, pears, and you squeal with glee when a jar (or more likely bag) of baby fruit wanders your way. Veggies are totally nom nom when they're mixed with fruit, though you eat them pretty well without fruit, too. You were a really great eater until very recently, but just in the last week or so, not so much. I'm not sure if you're developing your preferences and you've just decided that everything I'm serving you tastes like dog food, or if you're teething. Right now I'm betting on teething, because you've still got only 1 tooth, your bottom front left tooth. Surely that right one is coming in, right?? Right???

You prefer showers to baths, and you love to play with the water. You also love to watch Mommy brush her teeth, and to grab her brush and pretend to brush your hair. And then lose the brush. You say brush, sort of, it sounds like "Buh....s". You've actually got a ton of words: hi, bye-bye, uh oh (those 3 are the ones that sound like they should), kitty (keeeee), dog (dah! while pointing at a dog or a picture of a dog), ball (bah! while pointing at a ball or a picture of a ball or one of Mommy's witch-catching glass balls that hangs in the window), diaper (bah-puh), eyes/ice (aye...s while pointing to eyes or glasses or ice in a cup (your first homonym!)), oh wow (which sounds pretty good, but you ellide the words together, usually said when you enter a room, or when you see something cool), book (buh!), done (duh! as you pull off the boob or karate chop a spoonful of food away from your mouth), up (uh! as you stand up or get picked up), down (duh, but with a different inflection (lower pitched) than the duh that equals done and usually uttered as you squat or sit down), and you've just started with milk (muh, while signing milk). You can say "mama" and "dada", but you haven't bothered to label me or your father with those syllables yet, although I think you may be getting close. You also moo/bark when asked, "What does a cow/dog say?". And Daddy swears that you quacked at the ducks last weekend at the park. You can point to your nose, your tooth, and your hair when asked. No wonder your head is so big, you need a lot of space to store so much information! Your Pediatrician says that you know more than 6 times the average number of words (1-3) for your age. Mommy was so very proud to hear that!

You love to turn the pages of the books we read to you, and you love your books. They are the go-to distraction for ending your meltdowns. Not that you meltdown very often - usually when you fall, although you've been a little more meltdown-prone lately. Teeth, right? Not the beginning of toddler tantrums, right??

Your favorite person in the world is your Gramma. You run to her every time. And she loves you just as much.

You love the wagon that they pull you around school in so much that we've gotten you one of your own for your birthday.

You still prefer to fall asleep while nursing, but at school they just lay you down and pat your back til you go to sleep. Honestly, I don't know how they do that. When we've tried that method, you just stand yourself up and look at us like we're crazy. And then yell at us. I have a vague fear that I'll wean you and we'll never be able to get you to sleep again... You sleep about 9-10 hours a night, and nap twice during the day, usually totaling another 2ish hours. You obviously missed the memo telling you that you need closer to 14 hours a day at your age. You're pretty scheduled, but you've scheduled yourself. You wake up around 6, drink milk, eat breakfast, drink some more milk, and almost exactly 4 hours later you go down for a nap. When you wake up, you do it all again, again staying up for 4 hours, exactly. And then you do it all one more time. You require food or milk at 2 hour (or less) intervals for as long as you are awake. Little girl, for such a little girl you can sure pack it away. At least until last week when I started serving you dog food.

You greet every morning with a smile. You are funny, and cute, and precious. You are the light of my life, my sunshine, my reason for being. I can't believe you're already year old, and I simultaneously can't believe you've only been with me for a year!

I love you so much. I can't wait to see what your next year brings!
Mommy

Big Cooking Day #3

2011-10-05T12:03:00.000-05:00

(Not quite as big as the last 2.)

Made the Chicken Curry slow cooker/freezer recipe. Nom nom! I think it's our second favorite after the Barbecue Chicken. We'll do it again.

Last post we hadn't tried the Goulash yet. Here's the review: it wasn't our favorite. We found it a bit... dry. I also didn't like the bell peppers I used (recipe called for sweet peppers, but I couldn't find those at the store). I think I'll try it again, though, because I really want a recipe for beef to work. Only without the bell peppers, and maybe with a nice big can of diced tomatoes added in.

Along the same lines, P was really worried about the Chicken Curry being too dry, so he added in 1/2 c of water, but I really don't think it was necessary. Might try with only 1/4 c next time.

Other than that, we didn't do as much cooking as I wanted. We did shrimp and mashed potatoes again because the store was still running a great deal on shrimp. And we wanted steak this week, and that is sort of a same-day proposition. I did want to do corn, but we ran out of time, and I figured the slow cooker would be 2 days worth, so we really didn't need to do much else this week. That was nice in and of itself.

I think I'll probably skip next week for a Big Cooking Day #4 and use one of the frozen halves of the recipes I've done so far, since we'll be busy with/tired from guests and Z's big party this weekend.

Goal Review

2011-10-04T12:03:00.001-05:00

September goals:

1. Get back to it, really. My vacation swung into September, so any type of quantitative goal is probably out the window. I have made a goal of running a 5 miler on Thanksgiving morning. That gives me 2.5(ish) months to basically double my mileage. That shouldn't be rocket science, but it will require me to be more devoted to running than I have been. I started with yesterday morning's run - 2.5 miles, no walk breaks. I didn't run this morning because I'm all kinds of sore from yesterday (that's what a lay-off will do to me!), but I did stationary bike for recovery. Going to run again tomorrow morning. And I need to start finding a way to do a weekend "long" run - I just can't run much farther than 3ish miles right now in the morning unless I want to get up EVEN EARLIER than 3:30. Hint: I don't.

Well... I started the weaning process a little early, and this put a considerable cramp in my morning exercising. Here's why: I wanted to start with the 3:30am pumping session. Because, seriously, Mama needs some sleep! And I started early because P got switched to a job site where he could go in a little later, and thus take some of the Z's morning processes off my hands for a week or two, which would mean I could pump later, which meant the time was then! So I started off by shifting the pumping to 4:30ish, and then after a few days 5:30ish, with a goal of ultimately cutting the pumping all together and just breastfeeding first thing in the morning (for Z, which means 5:45ish). This all had an extreme impact on my working out, because it means that ultimately I want to be working out BEFORE my first morning breast-emptying session, regardless of method. What that means is that I need my boobs to get on board with not being full to the point of bursting first thing when I wake up. My boobs are slow to respond to commands, which is why this morning, after 3 weeks of later pumping, I finally was able to run again, before pumping, without insanely painful boobs. So while this month wasn't what I wanted, AT ALL, it was progress, and therefore I'm pleased with it.

2. Get some core work in. See #1.

3. This is my last month of full-time breastfeeding/pumping! Halla-freaking-luyah! Prepare for some weaning. Yay, check, see #1.

Informal goals: More working on the house. Finish the upstairs completely. Hopefully hire a contractor and get started downstairs. Get the Z's birthday party planned. Some checky checks here. Office is completely finished, so upstairs is truly almost done. Will post a pic or 2 soon. Contractor fail. Party planned check.

Weight September 1 was 132.4. Weight on October 1 was 131.8. I'll take it.

Over all, really a pretty successful month.

October goals:

I'm still going to be working the partial weaning situation. Perfect circumstances right now (I think) would have the Z nursing morning, 2x during the day to help her go down for naps, and night. I'm hoping my non-engorgement from this morning wasn't a fluke, but I'm not holding my breath. Once that situation has settled, that'd mean I'm still looking to drop a late afternoon session (usually right after I get home from work). I can't say enough how much better/easier 4 times a day sounds than 6-7. That's like getting a 1-2 hour GIFT added back to every day. Seriously.

With all that said, I'm still not sure how that's going to impact the working out. In a perfect world, my goals would be the same ones I keep repeating month after month: run "more/lots" and work out my core "more/lots". In the real world, anything is better than nothing, and whatever I need to do to make it work is good enough. I'm done trying to sink goals into concrete and obey. It just isn't sustainable with a shrimpie who is still so needy.

And with all of THAT said, I do still want to run the 5 miler on Thanksgiving. So I need to get ready for that. I've got about 2 months to add on about 3 miles. I CAN do that. I really can. Even if I'm not as consistent as I want to be. So my real goal this month is just to show progress in that direction. That shouldn't be hard: this morning I ran 1.6 miles. Seriously. Progress isn't going to take hours and hours at this point!

Informal goals: survive Z's party with JaMIL intact. Finally finish upstairs. And... I haven't really mentioned this yet, but I've had a really sad thing happen at work - goal is to move mentally past it - remember to enJOY every moment with my precious Z, because life is short.

Wordless Wednesday: Fun with the Z

2011-09-28T09:02:00.002-05:00

Old Navy = playground.

Cyclops!

Squinty smiles.

Trying to get her suction bowl off the table.

She carried this purse around for like an hour.

Wagon at school - guess who's getting a wagon for her birthday?

Happy bye-byes at school.

First doggy kisses!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Big Cooking Day #2

2011-09-26T15:44:00.002-05:00

This Sunday we did the following:

Garlicky Cream Corn
Quinoa with Carrots and Sugar Snap Peas
Stephanie's Goulash
Grilled Chicken Breasts
Mashed Potatoes
Rosemary Shrimp (without the red pepper flakes)

The Aftermath

The shrimp and half the mashed potatoes got eaten last night. I'd estimate the the rest is at least 3, maybe 4 meals worth!

Oh, and I also baked chocolate chip cookies. :-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Zoë's 11th Month in Pics

2011-09-23T14:56:00.000-05:00

I just looked at the blog and realized I haven't been posting pics, bad girl! So hold onto your hats for a million pics!

Daddy, what's that on your face?

The following TON are from a day at the park. Z-dog loooooves the park!

Snot bubble!

Walking with Daddy.

Pics from Galveston really didn't turn out too terribly interesting. I've got a ton of other pics, but once I DL them from my phone... well.... they're probably never getting posted. Such is life!

Big Cooking Days

2011-09-21T08:24:00.042-05:00

So I've been trying something the last few weeks: big weekend cooking days.

Basically on Sunday my goal is to get either the cooking or just the prep done for several meals through the week. A typical week's dinners look like this: Sunday-Wednesday: stuff at home, Thursday: leftovers, Friday: out, Saturday: ? What I find is that the tolerance for cooking dips exponentially the farther into the week we get, so I try to head that off at the pass, hence the Big Cooking Day.

Lately I've been trying to start off the Big Cooking Day with a slow cooker recipe. My mom gave me a good creamy Italian chicken recipe that P and I both like, and that yields lots of leftovers. I grabbed a recipe book at work the other week and tried beans. I liked them, but they didn't really go over well with P, so that one'll not make a reappearance. Then last week I found this blog entry and wanted to try her recipes, thinking that I'll get double out of my Big Cooking Day if I can freeze half! I tried the Barbecue Chicken recipe, and we loooooved it! I am especially excited because P actually ate bell peppers and zucchini and didn't complain. He even tipped the bowl up at the end to drink the rest of the sauce. WINNING!! I followed the recipe closely, but substituted 15oz can of tomato sauce instead of 8oz, and I didn't use the tapioca. I'm sure that made my sauce runnier, but it didn't bother either of us. When I try it again, I may even use more chicken. For us, the half of the recipe that I didn't freeze was only enough for 1 night's dinner for P and me and a bit for Z, with no leftovers at all. We used it as a stand-alone meal. I think if I added another pound or so of chicken, it'd still fit well into the crockpot, and we'd have leftovers for Thursday night. I could also easily add another sweet potato or 3, because they turned out hella YUMMY.

This past Big Cooking Day, I rounded off my activities by baking my favorite blueberry oatmeal muffins (substituting regular milk for buttermilk, and no nuts, and chop the blueberries in a processor before adding) and making my favorite maple marinade for some salmon. P made garlic corn and we had it and the salmon for dinner that night and the barbecue chicken on Monday. We'll probably do frozen pizza tonight, then I'll pick up some fresh carrots at the Farmer's Market on Wednesday and we'll do quinoa (no water, substitute the stock every time it calls for water) and P will grill some chicken, then we'll have the rest of that and the remainder of the corn for leftovers on Thursday.

I really like the Big Cooking Days on Sunday. I'm still refining the planning and trying to make the most of it, but who can argue with a slow cooker going all day, baking, and grilling - exploiting all my options! The quinoa would actually also be a good one to add on Sundays... I'd probably have kept cooking, but I ran out of clean measuring utensils.

I'm Naked!!

2011-09-20T08:24:00.000-05:00

Not like that. :-Þ I've forgotten my phone today, sheesh!

But I really miss the goober. Not only is it my phone, so it makes me feel safe on the long commute in case of trouble, but it is also my mobile toy, keeping me occupied during breaks and lunch and while I wait for people to show up to meetings, and it is my lifeline, providing a contact number for daycare in case something happens with the Z.

But daycare has other numbers. And I work in a building FILLED with books - I should be able to find some way to occupy my brain at lunch today!

In the meantime, I'll just get back to researching wagons to get the Z for her birthday, and be extra careful not to forget my phone tomorrow.

Do I Look Like a Doormat?

2011-09-14T10:20:00.000-05:00

When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.

--Dave Pelzer

I am done. Just... done.

I don't *think* that I please others in hopes of being accepted... but I do try to be easygoing. I see it as the path of least resistance. I see it as the path to karma points which will hopefully benefit me later. I see it as the path to peace. (You know, you fight the fights you can win, the ones that make the difference, not the ones that are meaningless - don't pee into the wind!) Acceptance don't really factor into it.

But I do not appreciate being walked all over, and I don't know if I'm projecting "desperate doormat" out into the world, or if a series of coincidences are just lining up, but the next person who walks all over me had better watch out - I'm ready to blow!

So here's the thing. I have this "friend" from work. I used to be her boss, and was actually happy when I wasn't her boss any more, because I always felt like we could be friends. Same age, similar interests. Nice girl. When she ran her first marathon I offered to be a waypoint or two on the course in the later miles. I kind of put myself out there.

Well, she's getting married. And months ago she gave me a save the date card. Being all forgetful with the baby, I actually put the date on my calendar and have been "saving" it, as requested. Then a month?ish ago she had her bridal shower, to which I received an invite in the mail. I cancelled at the very last minute because the Z was sick, but I was totally going. Then my aunt invited me to this party on the weekend of the wedding (in 2 weeks), and I'm all, "I don't know... I *think* I may be going to a wedding", because I haven't gotten an invitation yet. Hrm... so when a co-worker was down the other day to invite me to the work bridal shower, I asked if she had gotten hers - yes. Ah. I see how it is. Ouch.

Co-worker must have said something to "Friend", because she came down to my office and gave me this huge long spiel about how there wasn't enough money to invite me. How I had made the cut of 150 for the save the dates but then they needed to cut to 115 and... yeah. And how she knew she should have come to see me, but she didn't want to because it was so rude and she knew I'd be mad at her.

Wait, what? She knew I'd be mad. I'd be mad. I'd be mad???

I wasn't mad! Really!

I was hurt. I actually wouldn't have cared at all if *she* hadn't brought me into it with the save the date and the showers and stuff. I mean, I don't get wedding invitations all the time, you know? And I don't care that we weren't best buds, or anything, it hurts to be numerically told where you slot into someone's life. I mean, just, ouch.

And then, THEN, she told me that some people had RSVP'd "no", so I can come now if I want to. She'll bring me an invitation. Awesome. I feel so... special.

The sad thing is, I think it would be fun, and I would want to. But I'm sure as hell not gonna.

Anyways, I was super nice and told her everything was fine and I wasn't mad, etc., but, yeah, I was just being nice to her. (Again, though, not mad was true - but I am sad, and disappointed.) And now I'm trying to figure out a way to say no, if she even brings my invitation by (which I have my doubts about).

It just sucks.

Theeeeeen, this morning when I got to work, I had a meeting with a lady at 8. I went at 8 and asked her if she was ready. Not quite, but if I'd just sit there a sec.... 2 minutes later I asked if she'd like it if I just came back. Yes. But as I was walking away, I though, jeez, dude, what am I, your doormat?? I outrank you, put down your bullshit and deal with me when the appointment starts.

Sheesh!

Where I Was

2011-09-11T07:35:00.063-05:00

I normally don't indulge in these types of posts. They make me sad, for one, and for another, I question their relevance - sometimes they seem just like self-indulgance. But this one, this one I'm writing for my daughter.

Dear Zoë,

There are a few things in your life that you'll remember - that will truly stick with you. Moments in time. There is your wedding day, and the birth of your child. And unfortunately, there are the tragedies. I've got 3. 3 tragedies that will always stick with me - one for every decade I lived. When I was little, in Kindergarten, the Challenger. And in my first year of college, the Aggie Bonfire collapse. And when I was only a little older, September 11th. Some day I'll write about each of these experiences for you but today on the 10th anniversary of September 11th, I'll write about it.

I woke up on the morning of September 11, 2001 and headed to a 9am class - I think it was an anthropology or archaeology class... At the time I lived in the Rio Grande apartment in Austin with Emily on top of the pizza joint - my balcony faced the Tower to the east. I don't remember anything special about that morning. The class was 9-11am, and then I headed over to the stadium to pick up my wristband for the Texas-OU ticket lottery. I remember noticing a crowd of people standing watching a TV, one of those TVs that is mounted above a concession stand so that you don't miss the game while you're buying food. I thought that was weird, but hurried by as I was headed to another class. This is where my memory gets hazy. I got there and was surprised at how few people were in class. The professor never showed, so I waited the requisite 15 minutes and then headed back to the apartment, again noticing how few people were around campus, and thinking it odd. When I got back, Emily and her boyfriend were planted in front of the TV, and that's how/when I found out.

I planted myself right next to them for the next several days, leaving only to sleep and go to classes, almost all of which were cancelled when I arrived. I have a strong memory of Dr. Armstrong coming into my Latin class with a 2 line ode, taking about 5 minutes to translate it with us while obviously holding back tears, and then abruptly striding out. I remember how eerily quiet it was in the days following with no people out and about and no airplanes in the sky. I remember this irrational fear that we could be in danger, blocks away from the capitol building - I now think that probably everyone in big cities felt that fear - no one really knew what was happening, and if there were going to be more attacks. And I distinctly remember the first time I heard an airplane in the sky again and how *wrong* and scary it felt.

I can't tell you when things went back to normal, because I don't think they ever really did. I don't live my life in fear the way I did in the weeks following. But I remember a carefree time before 9/11, and I don't think that ever really came back.

I didn't know anyone who died that day. But when I read the stories of those who died, or the stories of the loved ones who survived, my heart breaks for the people who were there and their families. No one can ever lessen the impact of what happened - of the hole that was ripped into the fabric of so many lives. I look at you, my sweet baby, and cannot imagine the gut-wrenching loss.

But I also look at you and I hope for peace. You and all babies are the epitome of how people should be - open, trusting, caring, curious, inquisitive, and peaceful. In my heart I believe that these qualities you demonstrate are the core of every human being, and all the hate and anger and strife are learned behaviors that we can all rise above. I wish you a world filled with enlightened, intelligent, peaceful people, where the memory of this tragedy lives on as a lesson of the dire consequences we face as individuals and as a society when we allow negative emotions to overpower us. I wish for you a world in which you don't have one tragedy per decade to remember to your little one.

In the meantime, it's a big world out there - be safe.

Love always and forever,
Mama

Whatever Happened to My Lunchbox?

2011-09-09T09:40:00.000-05:00

Whatever happened to my lunchbox?

When came the day

That it got thrown away?

And don't you think I should have had some say

In that decision?

--John Mayer

One of the things I did while on vacation was sort through (some of) a giant stack of boxes of my childhood that my loving parents delivered recently.

There was all kinds of crazy crap in there: my cast from when I broke my arm in 5th grade, my first earring (one of two), music, books, and a boatload of china dolls.

Preston and I were talking and it seems like every kid has something that they collect. Both of us hoped our collections would be worth something some day... he collected comic books, and I collected china dolls. I had a ton, and some of them were really beautiful. I never played with them, because they were a collection - they lived up on a high shelf that ran the length of my room, to be looked at but rarely touched. (My rules/choice, not my parents'.)

Anyways, when I left for college, a large part of my old room was still intact, including the dolls. When my parents sold that house, they packed it all up and moved it to the barn at the farm. And now it is migrating back into my life.

It's a funny thing that happens to you when you go through stuff like that. There is always a pervading, "Gosh, we saved a lot of JUNK!" Which is always followed (in my head) with a, "I wonder how much money I could have now if I hadn't wasted all of it!" But then you react emotionally to things, too. Saving that cast. Saving a bundle of letters that my parents/grandparents/friends sent to me at band camp one year - it's like a snapshot in time! Cried over my Granny's letters and saved ALL of them. But the most surprising thing to me was my indignation at how my parents stored those dolls. It looked like they had just tossed them into boxes, then they didn't even tape the boxes up to keep out stuff, then when they stored them in the barn they got spiders, RATS, etc all up in them.

I am grateful that my parents love me enough to have saved so many artifacts from my childhood. Sometimes I wish they hadn't when I am struggling with an emotional attachment that is preventing me from throwing away an item that I had completely forgotten the existence of until I opened a dirty box. Or when my hamstrings are still sore A WEEK LATER from bending over to open/try to vacuum all the crud off the dolls... Or when they boxed them up with such a lack of care that I have to see my once-prized possessions in the middle of a rat's next made from their stuffing - that's just not how I want to remember them.

Righteous indignation: wandering around grumbling that I'll never do that to the Z. (Ha, we'll see.)

On Considering a Second, Update

2011-09-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

It isn't my period. (Unless it is my period plus food poisoning, or my period with puking as a symptom...)

I threw up this morning, which you could stack up to morning sickness or food poisoning. So still no tie-breaker on the potential pregnancy issue.

I'm tempted to take another test on Sunday, if I can make myself wait that long. In the meantime, I'm scared to eat and still queasy.

Weight this morning: 130.6. Oh, what a little hurl won't do to bring me almost to goal weight, cruel irony!

On Considering a Second, Part Deaux

2011-09-08T09:33:00.000-05:00

Subtitled: "The Pregnancy Scare".

So let's just say that it is possible that I'm pregnant. If I'm pregnant, I'd be about, oh, say exactly a week-and-a-half pregnant.

TMI warning: I have not had a period since having the Z. So there is no way to know if I'm fertile, and there is no period to "miss" to indicate pregnancy to me.

Things that make me think I'm pregnant: I've been super moody the past few days (not normal at this level), I'm tired (so tired I could hardly pry my eyes open this morning), I'm crampy/nauseous today, I have been more sore than I should be from opening boxes/working out for longer than I should be, I *feel* pregnant, all these "symptoms" are exactly as I felt with Zoë.

Things that make me think I'm not pregnant: I could be moody because I'm getting my period back, I could be tired because I'm returning to 6 hrs of sleep from a vacation of 9 hrs a night, I could be crampy because I'm starting my period or because I ate something bad, *feeling* pregnant is just a weird mental thing, I am lacking one symptom (sore boobs) that I felt with Zoë, and I've noticed no change in my milk supply, I took a pregnancy test yesterday morning and it was negative (But I think it might be too early??).

All this really brought around the debate over having a second. I was actually settling into a phase of being totally satisfied with only having 1 and not wanting a second, oh the irony! Let me start by saying that it is ok if I'm preggo. It would be an "accident", but a happy one. But when I realized that I thought I might be, I had frantic thoughts about how totally irresponsible we were for not thinking this through more! I mean, we have the Z to think about now, we aren't just having another baby for ourselves, she's going to be forever affected by our decisions as well, and we just did what we did and might be what we might be now. Crazy/heavy stuff.

All of the advantages/disadvantages of having 2 and timing and all that from my previous post (which, btw, was totally hormone-fueled, because it subsided eventually) still stand. This is really just about the mental uncertainty that a pregnancy "scare" can really bring to the surface for me. I wish I knew for sure. I'll test again in a week or so (or I'll get my period), and we'll know for sure. But this limbo is crazy-making. Crazy-making!

If we aren't pregnant now, I still haven't swung one way or the other on the Great Considering a Second Debate. This experience has changed nothing, as far as that goes. Which may mean that any/all babies born into my family need to be happy accidents, because I don't know if you truly can ever logic your way into a baby!

Goal Review

2011-09-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

August Goals:

1. I really want to get to the 5 days per week of working out; just as much as I wanted it back in June! I think with the baby it just isn't happening for me. It is ok if it doesn't. And if I have to set the goal at 5 days to get my actual performance to 4, then so be it. 5 days a week is my dream. 4 is my slightly more reasonable expectation.

Nix on both of those: First I thought I broke my toe, and that cost me a week. Then I took a vacation! And I'm not sorry for that.

2. This month I really truly want to focus on core.

Nope: I did really really well for the first week, then messed up my toe (did you know how many core exercises require your toe?) and got off track, then vacationed... la la la...

Informal goals: I want to make significant progress on the house this month.

Some success on this one! Preston is almost (FINALLY) done with the upstairs floor - I think (hope, pray) that he'll finish this week. We had a contractor come over to give us an estimate on all the work we want done. And on vacation we really stayed home and cleaned/tidied/worked quite a bit. Quite pleased on this front.

Weight on August 1 was 133. Weight September 1 was 132.4. Slow month, but that wasn't unexpected, with everything that went on.

September goals:

1. Get back to it, really. My vacation swung into September, so any type of quantitative goal is probably out the window. I have made a goal of running a 5 miler on Thanksgiving morning. That gives me 2.5(ish) months to basically double my mileage. That shouldn't be rocket science, but it will require me to be more devoted to running than I have been. I started with yesterday morning's run - 2.5 miles, no walk breaks. I didn't run this morning because I'm all kinds of sore from yesterday (that's what a lay-off will do to me!), but I did stationary bike for recovery. Going to run again tomorrow morning. And I need to start finding a way to do a weekend "long" run - I just can't run much farther than 3ish miles right now in the morning unless I want to get up EVEN EARLIER than 3:30. Hint: I don't.

2. Get some core work in.

3. This is my last month of full-time breastfeeding/pumping! Halla-freaking-luyah! Prepare for some weaning.

Informal goals: More working on the house. Finish the upstairs completely. Hopefully hire a contractor and get started downstairs. Get the Z's birthday party planned.

Dear Blogger

2011-09-06T09:13:00.000-05:00

It's been a while! Why? Not because I don't love you any more, but because I WENT ON VACATION!!!

Sort of.

I really went to Galveston for a weekend and then cleaned my home for a week, but still!

So I've obviously got a lot to catch you up on, so we'll do several posts of various redux. For now, my morning run recap: I RAN!!!!!

Hurricane Lee (or Tropical Storm??) made landfall in Louisiana on Friday. We got NO RAIN (in the middle of the worst drought in history, and now practically the entire state in on fire), but lots of wind, and MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, somehow Lee allowed our first "cold front" of the year to come on down. Lowering the temps a miraculous 10 degrees from hot-as-hell to simply really-freaking-hot. Or in layman's terms, from over 100 degrees to in the 90's. I know, genius, right? But here's the real kicker: it lowered our morning temps from a not-so-fun-to-run-in 80+ degrees to a FREAKING BRILLIANT 70- degrees. I'll take it!!

So this morning I went for a run. My thermometer said 67. AWESOME. It truly was a lovely temp. Really nice. And un-humid.

But it was kind of a funky run. As I was still walking my warm-up, I started being shadowed by a creepy moron in a gray/champagne SUV. And it had to be on purpose, because I was walking down a hill, and let's face it, cars don't even IDLE that slow. When we got to the stop sign, I glanced over to see if there was a turn signal (none) before I crossed the street. Right as I got to the other side, the idiot made a left turn and hit the curb/stop sign. Moron. I started running. Because let's face it, I'm not being a Good Samaratin to an idiot who is probably drunk and just drove FROM A STOP into a stop sign after creepily stalking me all the way down the street. Not gonna happen.

So my run started off with a bang (crash), and I was out of breath from the mild freak-out I was having from the stalking. And then I was trying to figure out my route and if I needed to change it to something less obvious from the direction I was heading when the idiot last saw me. It was sucky.

Then I ran by a skunk. I managed not to tick him off (yay, me!), but first time I've seen one of those in the neighborhood.

Ran 2.5 miles straight (Yay, go me!!!), saw the skunk again on my way back, debated changing routes to avoid idiot-intersection, didn't, idiot wasn't there, got home. Because of the wildfires it felt like I was running with a smoker (the kind you cook meat in, not the human kind with a death wish) right next to me: I could smell it, taste it, feel it in my lungs. Not cool. But still not complaining because of the lovely cool temps, and the overall success of the no-walking run after a little 2 week lay-off.

Pillows

2011-08-28T03:47:00.001-05:00

Me: How did you get 3 pillows - there were only 4...?
He: I know it sounds strange, but I've had 3 all night.
Me: Nooooo... we each started out with 1 plus a hugger.
He: I know, and I know it sounds strange, but early in the night I just found this pillow.
Me: Yeah, you just "found" it in my arms and took it away!
He: No! I wouldn't do that!
Me: Then you "found" it under my head and ganked it. Which is it?
He: *hands me the pillow*

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The Most Expensive Cat IN THE WORLD

2011-08-22T12:11:00.000-05:00

Thursday morning when I was feeding the Z, I saw Grimmy squat like he was peeing over by her diapers. Since he has been "inappropriately eliminating" for over a year now, this didn't surprise me, but I was surprised because a. he normally does his business on the kitchen, not the bedroom, floor, and b. he normally does his business in private. I yelled at him and he stopped, but there was no pee there. Then I saw what looked like the same thing over by the chest, and then again on P's jeans, and then again INSIDE the box of Z wipe refills. Once Z's bottle was done I checked all 3 locations and none were wet.

A long time ago a friend had a kitty who almost died due to a bladder obstruction, and I remembered her saying that the warning sign was that he was squatting and not peeing. I passingly wondered if I needed to be worried and take him to the vet. I decided not to because I had missed work the day before for my pointless boob appointment.

When I got home that evening, I didn't see Grimmy til after Z went to sleep. P called me over and said he looked sick. I found him prone in the closet, breathing rapidly. He hardly lifted his head when I approached. I sat on the floor and petted him and he barely responded. I had an overwhelming feeling that he was dying. Then P and I debated whether I was over-reacting: did he need to go to an emergency vet right now, or could he wait for morning? I really felt like he couldn't wait, so P got him loaded (still not without a fight, that's my Grimmy!) into the cat carrier and off I went.

I was right: blocked urethra. Arg, how I wish I had taken him that morning!! It was an expensive and stupid mistake.

They took him for the procedure, and I headed home. Got a call around 2am that he had complications: she was suspecting some sort of mass or something, and she was only able to get a hard catheter in after 1.5 hours of trying. She recommended that I take him to a cat vet the next day for the soft catheter that he needed for several days.

Now, let's stop right there. I set a price limit for myself before I went to the e-vet. Their quote was higher than that limit, but not by much, which is why I left him for the procedure and didn't ask them to put him down. Don't get me wrong. I love this cat like no other cat I've ever owned. But he has spent the last year peeing/pooping on my kitchen floor. And I'm a city girl with a country heart. I am going to outlive all my cats except the one that I get when I'm like 90. Cats die. One does not spend thousands of dollars saving the short life of an animal. It's just how I was raised. So when the vet's quote exceeded my self-imposed limit, I'll admit that I hesitated, but not for too long, because it didn't exceed it by much, and it was a totally treatable condition, and for goodness' sake, he's only 7 years old. I could love him for another decade easily! It just seemed like I shouldn't let him die from this, right now.

But when she called to say there were complications, ooooh crap, maybe I made the wrong choice. But at that point I was in it for the long haul (within reason). It would be like flushing all the money I spent that night down the toilet to say if I didn't see it through!

So Grimmy went to the cat-specific vet. Where they said that he didn't have a tumor or a block or anything, just a very tiny urethra. Good to know. They quoted me the same amount as the e-vet to REDO the procedure with the proper catheter. Piss (literally). Now I'm in it for just over double what I originally authorized myself to spend.

And he needed to stay at the vet for monitoring. I'm sure that'll be more money.

The most expensive cat in the world. Behold the Grimmy at the vet in his fashionable accoutrement.

He'll be coming home in his 300 snow-white horse-drawn diamond-crusted carriage this evening. Perhaps if I get him a marble litterbox he'll deign to use it instead of the floor?

3 (Random and Unrelated) Things Thursday

2011-08-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

1. I had my dr. appt. yesterday. I'm fine. I send Preston this text ahead of time: "I bet I'm going to pay $60 for the doc to cop a feel and tell me I'm fine. If so, I'm going to be PISSED." And that is *exactly* what happened. She told me that they couldn't do an ultrasound or mammogram while I am lactating because the inflammation from the milk production would make anything abnormal too difficult to see. So she did a physical exam, didn't feel anything, and told me it was probably a broken capillary. I was a little frustrated because she wasn't very pro-breastfeeding past 6 months. She told me that it was unnecessary that I'm still breastfeeding, and that people who go past 1 year are really taking it too far. (Not true, doc!) But she didn't tell me to stop, and I told her I was planning on going at least a year unless she did. So, onward!

2. Z is getting a little separation anxiety in the mornings when I leave her at daycare. When I go to kiss her bye, she flings up her arms and begs to be picked up, or tries to climb me, or whines, or all 3. It really is heartbreaking.

3. I am meeting an old friend for a playdate on Friday. Actually, I'm having her over to my insanely dirty house. I haven't seen her in 7 or 8 years... we were unlikely friends. Her boyfriend actually cheated on her with me, then broke up with her, dated me, then cheated on me with the chick that introduced me to Preston, broke up with me, then dated her!! What a tool, but I got Preston out of the whole convoluted thing, and this old friend was actually a really good friend for a while. After college we just sort of fell out of touch, and I remember getting an email from her along the lines that she was cleaning up her contacts and did I still want to be friends. I said of course, but then never heard from her again til she friended me on Facebook. When I saw that she moved to my area and she has a son that is only 2 months younger than Z, I decided to message her, and here we are. I'm actually pretty nervous about the whole thing. We were both pretty awkward back in the day, and I certainly haven't grown out of it. I hope we're not both miserable, I hope we both still like each other, I hope we can be real friends instead of Facebook friends! P and I don't make friends easily, and both of our good sets of friends live across town - it would be *so* cool to have a couple just minutes from the house with a kid approximately the same age that we were friends with! Plus, well, I just always really liked her. We had a lot of fun. She forgave me for being the "other woman" - she is a better person than I may ever be. I respect her and like her and I want to be her friend. I really hope this doesn't suck! Trying not to get my hopes up, but hoping at the same time. (Reading this last one back over and I sound like a kid, but oh well, there it is.)

First Words!

2011-08-16T08:08:00.000-05:00

The other weekend when T/M and their daughter R visited, we were seeing them out, standing at the door waving/saying bye, and right after the door closed, we heard Zoë say "Ba-ba", like bye-bye, while waving. We were fairly certain this was her first word. Be became convinced over the next hours/days when she repeated the word while waving in appropriate circumstances. Wow, her first word! At 10 months and 1 day old!

Here's the really amazing part: she has followed that one up with several more! She's got "kitty", which sounds like "ki-seeeeeeee" where the seeeee is a kind of hiss. And she is working heavily on "uh oh!", which sounds just right, but isn't always used in the correct context yet, and "thank you", which sounds like "dah oooo" with a particular pitch/inflection, but isn't always used in the correct context yet either.

She's still got all of her babble going, her "dadadada", "mamamamama", "nanana", "bababa", and of course, we got an imitated "papa" the other day. The difference between the babble and the words is that the words are always 1-2 syllables only, used in a context, with the same pitch/intonation/inflection, and the babble is just one syllable that goes on and on and on. She basically goes all over the house saying "dadadada" right now.

So this last week has been a big one for her - 2-4 words, plus she is now really walking freely. She'll let go of a wall or furniture and venture out into open space now, which is a significant development.

The other development that we saw last weekend was her desire to spoon-feed herself. She can't successfully scoop her food yet, but she can maneuver the spoon into her mouth once the food is on it. So she and I danced a delicate dance during solid meals this weekend: she sat in her high chair with a spoon in each hand, I had a spoon, and a spare on the table. She'd try to scoop food, I'd help her, she'd jerk the spoon out of my hand because I didn't let go fast enough, and shove it in her mouth. P and I would applaud her feat, and I'd follow the spoonful with a spoonful from my hand before she could realize what was happening. Then we'd do it again. But goodness help me if I tried to help too much, or sneak too many spoonfuls into her mouth without her involvement - she was really telling me what she thought!

She was fussy in general this weekend, for her. She was getting over her ear infection on Friday, but I couldn't find a good reason for it on Saturday/Sunday. She'd yell at us if we put her down. Or if we picked her up. It was like she wanted what she wanted when she wanted it, and her stupid clueless parents just couldn't get on board. It was rough. Luckily it was a little better yesterday evening, and after yesterday's freaking out, I was just trying to be in the (fun/happy) moment with her.

Oh, which brings me to her 2 new favorite songs. Preston has had this thing lately for Everlong by the Foo Fighters. Z loves to dance to it. And we are proceeding with my first watch of every Star Trek episode ever made - we are on season 4 of Voyager now - during breastfeeding sessions. Z loves the Voyager opening credits song. She hears the first 3 notes, unlatches herself, looks over at Stevie the TV, and smiles and squeals. My little Trekkie. Gotta get 'em early. :-)

The Overacheiver becomes The Exsanguinator

2011-08-15T12:02:00.000-05:00

Fair warning: this is a gross story about breastfeeding woes.

Saturday afternoon I switched the Z from the left boob (The Slacker) to right boob (The Overachiever). She popped off really fast, and I saw bright red blood in my shield, and no milk. "Weird", I thought to myself, "I haven't seen blood like that in a long time - perhaps I scratched myself when I switched her??" I kept feeding her, knowing from my early breastfeeding experience that blood will do her no harm, gross as it sounds. She popped off again, again I saw blood. Again, and this time there was a little milk with the blood. But she was DONE. She wasn't having anything else to do with it.

The next time I fed her, she didn't want The Overachiever. Sucked like once and patently rejected it. I thought maybe she didn't want to lay on that side (she is recovering from an ear infection, I thought maybe the positioning was hurting her).

The next time I fed her was bedtime. She rejected The Overachiever again. It was really frustrating by this point. We flipped her around and tried football hold in case I was right about the ear thing. NO! She wanted NOTHING to do with my right boob. She had already emptied the left, so we warmed a bottle and she fell asleep that way.

I went to bed a little worried about her self-weaning or something, and set the alarm for a 3:30am pumping session since I was going to be full due to her lack of nursing.

3:30am: I wake up, follow my normal procedures, start pumping, and look down and see blood squirting out INSTEAD of milk. Woke Preston up, almost passed out (I don't do well with my own blood or that of people I love). He proceeded to do research on the internet while I called the after-hours nurse line at my doctor's office. I kept pumping and eventually I started getting a mix of blood and milk, and finally near the very end, just milk.

It was DISGUSTING.

The nurse said not to panic but to call the doctor first thing Monday morning. To quit electric pumping on that boob (wasn't going to happen, but I was careful for the rest of the day to have the suction as low as possible), and just feed the baby from the good boob/bottle until I saw improvement. Fortunately, that panic-making 3:30am session was the last time I saw blood. I actually cried the next time I was ready to turn on the pump, but milk came out, thank goodness!! And for the rest of the day, only milk. And I only pumped 3 times total that day. I felt comfortable enough that I offered The Exsanguinator to her that evening and she took it, so I'm pretty sure there wasn't any blood.

Update: Now I'm panicking again. I called my OB this morning, and she referred me to GENERAL SURGERY. NOT COOL. Not cool at all. They took all my information down and will call me back tomorrow to let me know if they want to see me.

In Which I Post a Foot Pic

2011-08-10T04:11:00.001-05:00

So I think I broke my toe.

If it isn't broken, it is really trying to imitate a broken toe. Super painful, slightly swollen, obviously bruised. Hurts to bend. Hurts to push off when I walk.

Yesterday afternoon I was on my bed with the Z. P was leaving the room and she took off at lightning speed to follow him. I jumped up and ran around the bed to catch her before she fell off (she'll crawl right off; she has NO fear), and SOMEONE who is an adult living in this house and who isn't me left the First Aid kit under the bed's overhang when he tried to cut his finger off with the table saw and I stubbed my toe on it. (SOMEONE is in biiiiig trouble!)

I'm really upset. Running was just starting to get really better for me. FINALLY. 10 months post partum. Gah!

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Ramblings

2011-08-08T08:36:00.002-05:00

This is a weekend wrap-up, but I've been doing some thinking, so it is really just a platform to ramble...

There is no right way to parent. But I think we may be different from a lot of parents out there.

Daddy holding Zoë holding/eating one of her letter magnets.

On Saturday we went over to the Grandparents G's (GG's) house. They had their other grandkid there. I feel sorry for this kid. He was born to 18 year old un-married parents. They have alternated between getting back together/breaking up for his entire short life (he's almost 3), and that's got to be really hard on him, that kind of instability. Also when his dad has custody, the kid is usually parked at the GG's house while his dad parties with friends, etc. The dad still lives with the GG's. But he doesn't take care of his own kid when he has custody. And as a parent who has to pay for babysitting or arrange a weekend evening at the GG's house, I call bullshit.

Plus the GG's, they are great people, but they are yellers. Maybe it is different with a toddler boy, but I cringe every time I hear, "E, NO! Don't ___! I told you not to ___!" It is like, ugh, is there a different way? Because I swear the kid just tunes them out now. And I hope they won't yell at Z like that...

E's legs in the background, and Z playing with his gun.

Then on Sunday one of my old friends and his family came by on their way home from H-town. Their daughter is only 2 months younger than the Z. They played together and had super-fun. But my friend and his wife... they are just a different kind of parents than we are. They are worried about everything. They would apologize when their kiddo put one of Z's toys in her mouth. She's a baby, that's what babies do! I certainly don't care! But then I started thinking... is that how I'm supposed to act when I'm on a "playdate"? (We've never had one yet.) I mean, isn't the point toy-sharing? I'm confused.

Z showing R how to work the toy. Super cute!

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Core Update

2011-08-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

I'm doing really well so far!

Monday: Core I
Tuesday: Core circuit on run
Wednesday: Core II before a bike
Thursday: 30 Day Shred

Friday's plan: either Core III or a core circuit on the run or Ab Ripper X (which is a beast - I realized I never wrote about it my P90X posts, so I'll just tell you it is a beast!). I'm not working tomorrow, so I'm going to play it by desire!

I am sooooooooooore!! Sore, sore, sore. But in a good way.

"Fun" Run

2011-08-03T06:33:00.000-05:00

I did a version of the "fun" run idea that I posted about last week.

.25 mi walking warm-up, with short run at the end
25 crunches/30 sec plank/10 squats
1 mile run+short walk to get breath back
25 crunches/30 sec plank/15 squats
1 mile run + short walk to get breath back
25 crunches/30 sec plank/20 squats
.25 mi hard run
cool down

Even though my numbers are fuzzy above, this was over 3 miles total according to gmaps, with 2.5 of them running, and it took almost exactly 45 minutes including the warm up and cool down.

I chose crunches/plank/squats because I could do the crunches and plank on a park bench and not get down on the ground (silly, I know, but there it is), and I didn't do the lunges because I didn't want to burn out on my first try! I definitely want to work up to working them in, though, as well as to adding at least another set.

I was proud of myself, too, because I ran the miles without walking. That seems like such a small goal in the scheme of what I used to be able to do, but it is honestly where I am right now. I am hoping that by forcing myself to have the mental stamina to make it through 10ish minutes of running, I can work my way back to miles of running, because I really think my mind is my limiter, even though my body also isn't where I want it to be.

I'm going to be sore!

Finger Painting

2011-08-02T14:08:00.001-05:00

We made our first foray into fingerpainting this past weekend.

The kiddo didn't really understand that she was supposed to paint, but she had a great time playing with the bowls and making a huge mess!

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Status Report

2011-08-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

Hmmm.... the last time I did a goal review was 2 months ago, oops. Here it is:

June Goals

1. Get back to feeling 100%. Whatever it takes. CHECK (thank goodness!)

2. Once I get back on my feet: Work out 5 days out of 7. No excuses. (Focus on running and core. Try to start going back to the Y to swim on Fridays. But ANYTHING will do.) Ummm... not so much. 4 days out of 7 is pretty reliable, though. No Y on Fridays since I quit the gym. Running is becoming much more regular, and that is good. Core... umm... not so much.

Informal goals: get Preston to finish the upstairs floor (FAIL), run another 5K (FAIL)... that's pretty much it. Trying to go a little easier on myself this time around.

Easier I definitely went!

Weight on 6/3 was 135.0. Weight this morning was an even 133.0. (AND it is Monday morning. I was an even 132 all weekend, so I think that I've got a pound of bloat. :-)) That's a slower weight loss than I had been seeing at only 1 lb per month, but I'm only 3 pounds away from goal weight range, so it makes sense that it is happening more slowly now. Slow and steady will win me this race, and damnit if I'm not almost there!

August Goals:

1. I really want to get to the 5 days per week of working out; just as much as I wanted it back in June! I think with the baby it just isn't happening for me. It is ok if it doesn't. And if I have to set the goal at 5 days to get my actual performance to 4, then so be it. 5 days a week is my dream. 4 is my slightly more reasonable expectation. Both are goals that I have to work hard every day to make happen.

2. This month I really truly want to focus on core. I've said it several times in the past, but I just haven't really gotten there. But here's the thing: I'm almost to goal weight, and I'm still not pleased with how I look. I'm just a little... squidgy... around the middle. And I can definitely feel my lack-of-core when I run, and after I run. I'm really never going to get a better time to focus on my core. Once I quit or drastically reduce breastfeeding, I'll want to up my aerobic exercise quite a bit. Whereas right now, it is no huge loss to redirect 10-15 minutes of my exercise per day. So that's the real goal. Finally and truly make this month a core-focused month. I started this morning by doing Core I. Only 30 days to go!

Informal goals: I want to make significant progress on the house this month. We have an unprecedented opportunity to move into the house that my parents are buying tomorrow while we get work done on our house. This is really key because we don't want the baby around the gunk and sound of renovation. We need to get on this. We need to figure out what we want to do and get started getting it done. Like ASAP.

So cool!!

2011-07-30T20:14:00.002-05:00

I got a book out to hand to P and Z saw and crawled over to me and turned around and sat in the "story" position. AWESOME!!!

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An Afternoon With Daddy

2011-07-29T20:25:00.001-05:00

Coming home from daycare with her paper.

Looking over her shoulder at Daddy.

Making a mess.

Making another mess.

Eating her "snot rag". (Really, Daddy??!!)

Having Preston text me pics of my baby while I'm stuck at work? Priceless.

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Three Pics Thursday

2011-07-28T10:45:00.002-05:00

"Helping" Daddy work on her crib.

Super excited in the bath!

Ready for school this morning with her Spiderman book.

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This might be "fun"

2011-07-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

1 mile warm-up
Stop and do:
—20 squats with body weight
—Plank (hold for 30-60 seconds)
—20 lunges with body weight (1o on each leg)
—10 push-ups (aim for on toes, drop to knees if necessary)
Run 1 mile at moderate pace
Repeat strength circuit
etc...
1 mile cool down

Gotten from the Another Mother Runner blog. I think this would work really well in my neighborhood because I have a loop that I could start and end in the park where I could do the strength. And this would fit really well with my current "inability" to run without some breaks. I could at least maximize the breaks!! I think I'll try this on my next run.

Speaking of which, 2 runs down already this week, trying to really give myself the best chance at a 3 run week. I've been running by songs, lately. Monday was walk 1 to warm-up, run 3, walk 1, run 3, walk 1 to cool down. This morning I did run 1 (hard)/walk 1 and repeated for 30 minutes. At some point I'm going to just need to buck-up and run continuously, which I know in my head I can do, but I'm letting myself ease into things, and I'm making myself feel ok about it. I'm proud just to be getting out there, since it means a loss of precious, precious sleep while the baby sleeps.

First Steps!

2011-07-25T12:46:00.000-05:00

This weekend my baby took her first steps. Her Daddy set her down on Saturday and moved his hands out a bit and she walked right to him. We tried to get it on video and it wasn't as obvious, but then later on Sunday I set her down a few steps from her bookcase and she walked right to it. And then grabbed a book and turned around and handed it to me!! It was Flip Flap Fly, her favorite. Every time we get to the snake part and I start hissing she giggles like I'm the funniest thing ever. We've got to get it on video. There are so many things that I'm so grateful we had the presence of mind to video because they have been so fleeting.

I feel like time is flying right now. It seems like every day yesterday's major development has become old hat and she's working on a new accomplishment.

Last night I sat her down in her high chair while we made/had dinner. She ate cantaloupe, steak, and baked potato, tiny pieces that I cut up for her picked up by her little fingers and fed to herself, by herself. Even the slippery cantaloupe - she had to work at it, (and she wasn't sure she liked it at first, which surprised me) but she did it. In fact, she loves to feed herself so much that we have to run around removing cat hair from her fingers/mouth on an hourly basis. And if there isn't cat hair around to eat, she'll pretend to take a hair off Daddy's leg and put that in her mouth!

She dances every day, crawls and cruises all over the place. We finally got the stair gate installed because we couldn't keep her off the super-exciting-to-climb stairs.

Every morning when I go in to wake her up she crawls to the edge of the crib and pulls herself up to stand, then reaches up with both hands for me to pick her up. When I do, she lays her head on my shoulder like she is totally exhausted and is super snuggly for about 2 minutes. Then she is hungry. NOW.

She has this new game where she hands me something, and I take it and say thank you and pull it into my chest, then stick it back out to her and ask if she wants it, and she takes it, and we do it over and over and over again.

She also loves to throw a ball, then she lifts both hands up in the air and SMACKS the floor with them as a transition into crawling over to get the ball and throw it again.

She often squeals with glee when she sees a kitty, inevitably warning them of her presence and causing them to run like hell. She can point to or show me a kitty when offered pictures of different animals. She also seems quite interested in ducks.

She still loves to walk while holding our fingers, with chest puffed out leading her, and tiny tushy sticking way out behind. Walking her up to a toy and expecting her to walk around holding it instead of us may just result in a crying jag. Until we pick her up.

She loves to turn lights on and off. She has taken to applauding herself every time she touches a light switch. She also applauds if you say, "Yay, Zoë!" And I swear she claps every time If You're Happy and You Know It comes on her little Scout toy thingy (they must sing that one in daycare).

Sometimes I wish I could just freeze this stage. It is such a wonderful, happy, exciting time. That I'm already nostalgic for!

Guilty

2011-07-22T08:38:00.000-05:00

This week was going to be my first 3 run week post-Z. This is sad, I know. But reflective of how difficult getting going has been.

I started off right: ran Monday morning. Tuesday I woke up feeling a little... off. I stationary biked because that is the least stressful workout option I have. By evening I knew I was sick. (Yes, AGAIN.) Wednesday morning I felt like poo. I opted for sleep instead of a run. That night Z gifted me with a midnight wake-up scream, and when I finally got back to bed I told P to just cancel my 3:30 alarm, thus no workout on Thursday morning. I still felt a little sick on Thursday morning, too, so I was ok with that. But by last night I knew I was on the mend. This morning there'd be no skipping the workout!! I woke up at 3:30, but managed to talk myself out of running while I pumped (it was hot, super humid, shouldn't I give my system another day to recover, etc.). Oh well, at least I stationary biked. But I am feeling rather guilty about it. I really wish I had run. Perhaps a run tomorrow morning?

Hopefully next week I'll finally catch the elusive 3 run week!

Weekend Wrap-up

2011-07-18T13:27:00.002-05:00

Friday Preston and I and Preston's Dad took the day off work to go see the earliest showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

It was good. I won't spoil anything for anyone, but it was good. I'm always a little disappointed in the deviations from the book, and I HATE the ending even more in film than I hated it in the book, but overall it was good. Preston said his Dad and I went stereo on either side of him with, "That wasn't in the book!" Ha!

Z hung out with her Aunt Kristen while we saw the movie. Here she is with her Dada after.

And standing.

And helping Aunt Kristen find a dorm at A&M for next year.

It was nice, kind of like a 3 day weekend, with Friday off. Did laundry and grocery shopping and focused on getting stuff done on Saturday. But somehow Sunday slipped away...

Z hasn't quite been herself these past few days. I don't know if she is getting sick, teething, or having a growth spurt, but I want my happy baby back! (Yes, I know, she is still way happier than other babies. But I want *mine* back.)

She *is* eating A TON, and my boobs are painful. I think I probably have thrush again. Have a call in to the doc to see. Boo!

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Strange Things

2011-07-15T21:48:00.001-05:00

It seems like maybe the Universe is trying to tell me something.

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Standing Woman!

2011-07-14T08:56:00.002-05:00

Tuesday when I dropped the Z off at daycare, she stood at the little table playing with a ball (her favorite type of toy). I left the room, put my shoes back on, and was talking to Miss Mary. Then I turned and looked through the window, which I always do so that I can wave bye to Z if she is watching. She was, still standing at that table. I waved to her and said, "Bye bye Zoë!", and she LET GO of the table WITH BOTH HANDS and waved bye to me! Just stood there unsupported like it was nothing! Waving and everything! What a big girl! Of course, both Miss Mary and I pitched an appropriate congratulatory fit.

Since then, she has replicated the feat multiple times, and last night we finally got a pic.

Behold, Standing Woman (who is also eating a peach through her mesh thingy - Multitasking Woman):

She just stands there calm as you please, and when she needs help, she very calmly turns and looks for my hand, then gently takes my finger and steadies herself. It is really impressive (especially to me, since I'm such a spaz).

What a big girl!

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Gym Membership(s)

2011-07-12T08:24:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about dropping my YMCA membership. There, I said it. Blarg. I really don't *want* to drop it. But let's face it: I'm paying people $50 a month to NOT USE their facility. Mostly because of timing. My Y opens at 5am, near work, and far far away from my home. I have to *finish* exercising at 5am, near home, to take the baby to daycare. That means that I can basically go one day a week, Fridays, when I work a half day. But let's face it (again), if I have spare time on Fridays right now I'm using it to clean and/or sleep. Even if I went every single Friday, I'd be paying more than $13 per visit. If I park at work and walk over so I don't have to pay for parking. It just isn't worth it any more.

I've hung on to the membership this long hoping that maybe when my parents move down here I could start going back... but who knows when that will be? And how much money am I blowing in the meantime? And even then I'll have to work around the hours, which means I'd be going to work later than I wanted because they just don't open early enough for me.

Plus, our neighborhood pool (that we also pay for) is open for the summer right now. And they have a weight room open 24 hours year round. So the Y is really *just* for the pool.

Annnnd, I'm really not going to be doing any triathlons until AT LEAST next May. I mean, I love to swim, but right now I'd just be doing it for the love and the weight loss, not for the training. And it is way less time consuming to do other forms of working out at the moment.

I think I'm going to do it. I think I'm going to drop the membership.

In the future, even when my parents move down here, I might think about a 24 Hour Fitness so the timing issue isn't a problem. There is one a few miles from my house. I just checked their website, and at least right now, a membership is actually *cheaper* than my current Y membership. Maybe I could watch Groupon or something to try and get a deal, too, since I'm in no rush. And they're open 24 hours a day! Something tells me that I'd actually have the pool to myself at 4am, which'd be pretty freaking sweet! They've also got babysitting services, so moving forward that's something I could also consider for the weekends. Yeah, I think I'm sold. I'm dropping my membership at the Y.

This is not a declaration of a lifestyle change (away from the healthy). This is just an acknowledgement that what I have isn't working for me. I need to search for better options.

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-07-11T08:19:00.002-05:00

This weekend was a whirlwind of sleep.

Fast-paced action.

And more sleep.

Ha, in all seriousness, that's what it seemed like. I worked extra on Friday so I can get this coming Friday off to go see Harry Potter!! My mom still had Z because she was sick all week. I got home from work and mom immediately left to go back home. We played and slept the rest of the day away.

Saturday we woke up and started all of our housework before taking Z to her other grandparentals' for a night out. We dropped her off and hung out for an hour or so, then hit the secondhand kids' store, Old Navy, and Freebirds on the way home. I got some great stuff at the secondhand store! A Gymboree coat for this winter, never used with tags still on, $10, a fall/raincoat, plus a cute top and 2 little one-piece outfits. I looooove shopping for the baby, and I love it more when I get great deals! It is really funny, though, I'll be sifting through a rack of clothing, and I'll see something cute. I'll say, "Oh, look at this, this is cute!", show it to P, and then check the label. What do I see? 8 times out of 10: Gymboree. 1 time out of 10: Children's Place. Seriously. Gymbo just has something about it. I think it is cute before I even know it is a brand name. Crazy! Old Navy was a total disappointment, though. I have a Groupon for $20 of stuff for $10, and I have to use it by the end of the month, but I just couldn't find anything I wanted/liked. :-( The store we were in was totally picked over, though, so I might try another one next weekend. Freebirds was, as usual, yummy.

Once we got home we watched some Tour de Crashes (aka Tour de France), and hit the sack early for a looooong lovely night of uninterrupted sleep.

Sunday I got up and went for a nice run along the bayou before P woke up.

Then we had pancakes for breakfast, went to the store, and did some housework in peace before he went to pick up Z. I stayed home and baked muffins and cooked a potato/squash thingy while they were gone. Z unfortunately took a long nap on Daddy around 5 (pictured above), and therefore getting her to crash last night was a beast! Hoping she'll adjust quickly to being back in daycare now that she's well again.

And that's the weekend in a nutshell!

(Oh, the middle picture above is Z on a walking toy at her grandparents' house. (J, there is a video on Facebook.) She is a *machine* on that thing! And P and I love it because it saves our backs.)

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4 Years

2011-07-07T06:50:00.000-05:00

Today is Preston's and my 4 year anniversary.

I alternate between "Wow, 4 whole years!" and "Really, only 4 years?" as I sit here reflecting.

With the baby, it seems like everything has changed, but really, the foundation behind it all has stayed the same.

Here are some photos through the years - reminders of where we've been so we can look forward to where we're going.


Italia, 2003


Mardi Gras Galveston, 2003

White Sands, NM

Minute Maid Park

Butterflies!

Big Bend National Park, July 7, 2007

Chicago, 2008

Preston is 30!


Stonehenge, 2009

Warriors!

Zoë's first Thanksgiving, 2010

What's in Your Purse?

2011-06-30T07:13:00.003-05:00

So I saw this series of posts, and loved it! I think it appeals to the voyeur in us all. And I think it is an interesting argument: do the contents of your purse say anything about who you are as a person?

So, without further ado, my purse:

Obtained at Kemo's going away Diva party from a 50 earringed hippy chick with an awesome amber necklace. Still smells faintly of sunscreen. "Battled" my buddy Liz to win the purse, primary weapon was my specialty, guilt. I love this purse for the ginormous size (I used to carry small bags pre-baby. Finding that larger is better post baby, since I can toss diapers and wipes in the purse and go.), and its bright colors. It goes with anything just because of the sheer forwardness of it. And its personality goes well as an accent to my normally otherwise subdued dress. This is the perfect summer purse for me right now.

And the contents:

Bottle of water, a must for the breastfeeding mama.
Book, because I'm reading again!! (The first book in this series actually rode to the hospital in my bag when I had Z. It moved over to my purse and rode around for 8 months before I finally got to it. Now I can't put the series down.)
$20 that Preston gave me the other day and I was too lazy to put in my wallet.
Wallet that Chris French gave me in junior high. It rode around in my back pocket for years (like a boy), and still does take a ride there occasionally, where it fits perfectly.
iPhone, don't leave home without it!
Roll of tape that I used to tape my toll-tag onto my mom's windshield when I borrowed her car 2 weeks ago.
Brush, for the long crazy hair.
Cover-up, in case I want to appear not like a zitty teenager if I get called into a meeting with The Big Boss.
Chapstick, my favorite flavor.
Business card holder purchased at the National Ornamental Metal Museum on our Chicago 2008 road trip.
Sunscreen purchased on our London 2009 trip - never know when its going to come in handy!
Benadryl cream because I'm allergic to mosquito bites beyond what is normal. They swell up to huge insanely itchy welts.
Hand sanitizer because I have a Kid now.
Work badge, because the only way I won't forget it is to always have it.
Contact drops.
Compact, even though I hardly ever use it and am thinking about ditching it.
Mirror purchased in London.
Tiny tape measure, which comes in handy more than you would think.
Swiss army knife, every self-sufficient gal needs one.
Cloth wipe, good for runny noses and excessive drool.
Prescription sunglasses in case. (Non-prescription shades live in my car.)
Coupons and current Babies R Us circular, because I've been caught without it too many times.
Gift cards I'm still carrying around from Christmas, again because I've been caught without them too many times.
Keys and back-up keys. (Really ought to not keep them together...)
Small jewelry box so I don't lose anything when I go to the Y or otherwise need to remove my jewelry.
Fancy pen given to me by Preston's sweet grandparents.
Bottle of acetaminophen, which I started carrying around when I was preggo and it was the only thing I was allowed to take, and have continued carrying around since I'm breastfeeding and it is among the very few things I'm allowed to take. Hardly ever need it, but like having it around.
Trash.

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Frustrated with Daycare

2011-06-28T08:34:00.000-05:00

Last week I sent a little bag of puffs to be given to Z for "snack time". Monday they gave them to her. Tuesday they forgot. After that, every day I've put a note on her paper asking them to offer her the puffs, even though she won't eat them. Wednesday they remembered. And every day since then they've forgotten.

Do they even READ the note I send?

This morning I mentioned it to the early morning caregiver. She said, "Well, you know I'm not here in the afternoon." And I said, "Well, you're the person I get to see, so perhaps you could pass it along?" She backpedaled, and then I backpedaled because I don't want a bad relationship with the people who are caring for the Z. I said, "It isn't a big deal - I mean, she isn't actually eating them, and I don't expect her to, so it isn't like she isn't getting some crucial nutrition, I just want her to get a feel for them." And then she said, "I understand what you're trying to do, I'll talk to Miss Susan."

The thing is, it *is* a big deal to me. Not because of the nutrition. But because I'm explicitly asking (every day) for something to happen each day regarding my child, and it isn't happening. At all. Ever. (And I rarely ask for anything for her. And this isn't unreasonable - all of the kids EXCEPT Z have a snack every day as a "community". They're actually leaving her out.) And that really worries me. I know the Z is an easy baby. Super easy. Does this mean she's being (benignly) neglected? How do I broach this with the staff? Do I broach this with the staff? Or do I just start looking for another daycare?

On a Considering a Second

2011-06-27T13:33:00.000-05:00

And a weird mind-space. (Note: this post has been under construction for several days. Mostly because it is a hormone-fueled stream-of-consciousness mind-dump. But I'm posting it anyways, because it is real. So consider yourself warned.)

I think there may be something biological, something hormonal, that causes a woman to want another baby at a certain point postpartum. I expect that not everyone experiences it, and that it can be overridden by the memory of a particularly traumatic pregnancy or delivery, or possibly by just a very strong mind (though I'd argue that even those women probably feel it, but fight it). It is a powerful sensation, a second ticking of a loud and incessant biological clock. Or at least mine is.

What *is* that, by the way? I mean, I was never sure I wanted kids. At a certain point, I felt my biological clock start to tick, and I wanted kids physically, but I still wasn't sure I wanted them intellectually. It took a (now happy) accident to get my mind over that edge and in sync with my body.

So I'm 8, almost 9 months postpartum. I'm almost back to my prepregnancy weight (132.6 this morning!). Close enough to call it even, really, in the larger scheme of things. I'm not back to my prepregnancy core strength, that's for sure. But all my old clothes fit. I'm not back to my old fitness level, but that could take a serious long while. And there is a part of me that wonders if it is worth it to get it all back to only lose it again, if we were to have another.

I'm still breastfeeding and obviously as a result my hormones are still totally out of whack. But this scenario would make sense to me: around this time the baby is slowly taking less milk and more solids, meaning that sometime in the near(ish) future, mama will return to fertility. Is the sudden fascination with a second kiddo an indication of the beginning of this process? You know, a mindset to perpetuate the species?

And then how crazy is it to try to remove all the hormone-fueled lack-of-logic to try to really examine if you want another kid? Do I want another kid? I wish I knew! I wish I knew what was a real feeling and what is a body-screwing-with-mind hormone feeling.

I almost want to do a pro vs. con, but it seems so ridiculous.

Here's the thing that keeps bringing me around to wanting another (other than hormones). I'm an only child for all practical purposes. I always wanted a little brother. I asked Santa for him every year. (Ha!) I know that if I had had a sibling, I wouldn't have always liked him/her. But I know I'd have loved him/her. And I know that I would have gone through life with someone who was tied to me by blood. And I think I'd have been better for it.

Ok, fine, my mind demands pro v con. (Some of these will be silly.)

Cons: Attention divided from Zoë, more diapers, more money, more energy, more time, less sleep, more hectic. This Kid is practically perfect (in every way) - could a second ever live up to the hype? There'd be 2; P and I would be evenly matched instead of 1-up.

Pros: There'd be 2 - more love all around. Playmate/fightmate/mischeifmate for Zoë. We already have all the gear. We already don't sleep enough, so what's the big deal? If it is a boy, we already have a name. I'm already out of shape, let's get it over with. If the 2nd is nearly as awesome as the Z, we'd be doing the world (and ourselves) a favor. ;-)

If we did have another, when? This article says that the ideal interval between births for a woman's body is 18 months-5 years, and for the new baby, a shorter window of 2-3 years seems best. Of course it also cites a psychological study that says that under 1 year or over 4 years is the best time for the first child. Not very helpful, Interwebs!

This weird mind-space has involved a fascination with the archives of my own blog, looking back to pregnancy and these first months of the Z's life. (Weird.) And a fascination with others who are preggo or have little ones. Or even better, have multiple little ones. But I'm not finding any answers. I guess I recognize this as "data gathering", but I wish there was an easy answer. Or that this damned *longing* would let up! But even as I long I waver. Z'll do something amazing and wonderful and sweet and I think that it could never be topped - I need to stop while I'm ahead, you know? And then I'll roller-coaster the other direction.

I have no ending for this post, because there is no ending, at least not yet. This is just what my mind is doing, has been doing for a few weeks now.

Baby Board Book Reviews

2011-06-24T09:17:00.000-05:00

The Z has three more new favorite books:

(I apologize for the orientation - blogger for some reason thinks this is a vertical pic)

There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly (version published by Child's Play): This book has holes in it, and Z loves it! She reaches for the holes and uses them to help her turn the pages. It is also brightly colored and very rhythmic to read. Highly recommended!

The Greedy Python by Eric Carle: This is my favorite of his books so far! The text by Richard Buckley is rhyming and easy to read aloud, and contains concepts like animal names, counting, and left/right, all while telling a fun story with Carle's famous style illustrations. Love it!

Flip Flap Fly! by Phillis Root: Also very highly recommended. I stumbled on this at the library, checked it out, and after having it at home for the maximum allowable time decided that we needed our own copy. This one is rhythmic and fun to read out loud. It introduces baby animals and their locomotion methods, and the Z loves it, pointing at the baby animals, and squealing for the "kiss like this" part where I plant smooches on her chubby cheeks while reading it to her.

All of these are board books. I've seen a lot of boring baby board books, with only a few words on each page, or ones that just aren't fun to read out loud. But since the kiddo can't read yet, I think it is best to grab her attention with great pictures, but also to have a decent amount of words in there so she gets exposed. And the books that are rhyming or just more lyrical are more fun for her and for us. Love these books!

And for an adult book review: I'm reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. If you liked Robert Jordan, you'll like him. I'm totally absorbed and counting the minutes til Z nurses so I can get a chapter in!

First Booboo

2011-06-21T16:26:00.001-05:00

Z fell at daycare.

On her nose.

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Tuesday Funny

2011-06-21T12:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I sent the Z to daycare with a little bag of baby puffs and instructions to her caregivers that I'd like her to be offered 4 or 5 puffs along with a cup of water each day at snack time. In the instructions I noted that Z probably would not actually eat the puffs, but that I was just getting her used to them and just want her to have the opportunity to play with them (or eat them if she wants).

She came home with a note: Zoë loved her cup of water, but she picked up each of her puffs and threw them on the floor one by one.

Lol! For some reason, the "one by one" is just hilarious to me. It implies such a deliberate rejection of the food. (Really what she is doing is discovering gravity and object permanence. She loves to throw things on the floor, and then lean out of her chair and look for them. And then get us to pick them up and repeat the whole process. Of course, at daycare, once the food went to the floor it was dead to them, so her little modus operandi didn't work quite so well there.)

I sent a note today asking them to continue offering her the puffs anyways. She'll get this finger food thing eventually.

Oh, and p.s. this morning when I woke her up, she clapped!

More Sicky Sickerson

2011-06-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

This is getting ridiculous!

On Thursday I woke up with a sore throat and bad headache and bagged my workout. Boo. I never ran a fever, but my throat got progressively more and more sore through Saturday. I tried to be good all weekend, napping every day and staying close to home. Yesterday I saw slight improvement, and today a bit more. In the throat area, that is. I aslo have a nagging, hacking, dry cough that came along with the throat, and that seems to be sticking around. I bagged my run this morning in favor of an indoor stationary bike ride, thinking that that might tax the respiratory system a little less, and once again, ease me back into things.

I wonder at what point it'll stop being "back into things" and just become "into things"?

Screw it all, but I'm going for a run tomorrow morning!

(Oh, the good thing this morning? I biked in a pair of my old running shorts, AND THEY FIT!!! I think they were the last holdouts, yay!)

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-19T08:02:00.000-05:00

Eating the first ever card that she gave/signed.

And her signature. :-)

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Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-06-16T07:45:00.000-05:00

I think my parents are going to put earnest money down on a house this morning!!

In H-town!!!!!

Less than a mile from my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Explanation/Supporting statements (not all necessarily related to each other, but all related to my excitement):
I love my parents, and living far far away from them sucks. They have/understand boundaries, so I'm not scared of them living close to me and being all inappropriate and up in our shit. We lived about 20-30 minutes away from my grandparents when I was a shrimpie, and that was too far, in my opinion; we made the effort to go over there once a week, but what a pain in the ass. Mom is soooooo helpful with the Z; and the Z loves her 3rd most in the world (after me and P). They're willing to take the Z once a week so that she isn't full time daycare, annnnnd they're willing to take the Z to daycare every morning, so I can go back to working 10 hour days and having Friday off, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! Did I mention free babysitting less than a mile away from my house? A mile is easy running distance; I can pop the Z into the BOB and just run her over = BRILLIANT! The potential house is also walking distance from the Z's future elementary school (and hopefully future daycare that doesn't take the kiddos until they are 18mo.).

And, this house is perfect for them, really. It is a 3/2/2, a bit smaller than their current house, not much yard to mow and some really nice hardscaping, big giant air-conditioned workshop for all Dad's man toys, insanely awesome closet for Mom's girliness, giant 2nd bedroom that has a Murphy bed so it can double as an office, neat-o built-ins and little upgrades all over. It is really a great house, and it has everything they want except for land. And while I know they wanted a little land, I actually think it is better that they don't get it, because as they get older the upkeep would have been progressively more difficult for them. This is literally a house that would be appropriate to be the last house they ever have to buy. It is perfect. (They might want to do a few upgrades - wood instead of carpet in a few rooms, maybe a granite countertop at some point, but really the place is good-to-go right now. Brilliant!)

Brilliant, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!